


Little Things of Lyrium Blue - Being Rewritten

by l8rose



Series: Unforgotten [2]
Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate game scenes, And I still suck at tagging, Bad Dreams, Bad Ideas, Canonical Character Death, Danarius sucks, Dragon Age: Inquisition Spoilers, F/M, M/M, Magic, Mary Sue, Multi, Nightmares, Other, Protective Siblings, Siblings, Spoilers, Unforgotten, cause i can, extra family
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-12 20:28:19
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 29
Words: 64,719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7947913
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/l8rose/pseuds/l8rose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>--- Note --<br/>I am going to be rewriting this when I have time. This was the first fanfic I started and it shows. </p><p>It is during the middle of the campaign against Corypheus that one dwarf sees a way to undo a terrible wrong. So he begins to spin a tale for the Seeker Cassandra. The truth finally comes out that the Tale of the Champion had left out an important detail, and that he had lied to her when she demanded the story. He shares with her the truth. The whole truth. </p><p>It is a story that begins the same, an escape from Lothering and the Blight but it is not two siblings that survive after the heroic death of Bethany. It was three.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. What Begins Again

**Author's Note:**

> This originally started out as a story focusing on my FemHawke but the more I wrote it, the more it didn't quite fit. Hawke in the game is always seen as a bit of a bad ass and certain of all their decisions (until it all blows up in their face) so I made the decision to rewrite it as an original character. Hence the youngest child of the Hawkes, Ava. A lot of what I had as the FemHawke was rewritten to fit.
> 
> Some scenes are pulled directly from the game, just rewritten to fit with someone other then Hawke. 
> 
> Also, I was originally going to go with a new FemHawke as the eldest but that got rewritten to a MaleHawke sooo there may be errors where Hawke is referred to as a she, cause I'm a genius and can't tell where the mess ups are. 
> 
> The First chapter is quite long as it deals with the opening of Dragon Age 2 so yarrr, there be spoilers ahead! Quite a few actually as it is literally mostly just that opening with some things from me added in so this is more like a joint thing with the writers of the game I suppose.
> 
> Varric's blurb at the start takes place after you encounter Hawke and their warden friend, having obtained the book from the former Lord Seeker but having not gone to Adamant Fortress yet (in case folks were wondering). And yes, this takes place in the same DA universe as Dead Gods.
> 
> As always, I have no proofreader so comments and pointing out errors are always welcome.

Varric watched from the top of the steps as the pair arrived. He knew the elf easily enough. Tall, brooding with white hair. It was longer then he remembered but there was no mistaking the marks that carved over the man's face and neck. The elf glanced up at him and gave a small nod. A quiet hello, that Varric understood. The elf's companion was silent and moved slowly. A hood was pulled over her face but he knew her as well. It still sent an ache through him to watch her move like she did. Silent, and watching.

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the Champion of Kirkwall moving. There was an accusing look at him but Varric gave him a small shrug. Varric did not stand to watch the reunion of the three as he knew there would be some catching up to do for them. Instead, he went off to find Cassandra.

She was where she almost always was. A small corner of the training yard where she practised or sat and read. Today, she was reading. Pouring over more of the book she had obtained from the former Lord Seeker, the head of her order.

“Seeker... Cassandra?” He said, wondering if he had perhaps should have done this before he sent for the new arrivals.

“Varric?” She asked, looking up at him with her eyebrows knit in confusion.

“The Inquisitor told me what you found in that book.” Varric said, hand motioning to the book open in her lap.

There was a faint scowl on Cassandra's face as she regarded him. She had not wanted to share much with what was in there, not until she was sure of it. That Varric could easily read on her face and he understood it completely.

“Is it true?” He asked. “About how you seekers are made?”

“It is.” She said before quirking an eyebrow. “Why?”

“Then... there's something I need to tell you.” Varric rubbed the bridge of his nose. “You remember how you asked me for the truth about what happened with the Champion?”

Cassandra looked at him, the eyebrow quirking even higher. Realization dawned in those eyes and she practically glared at him. “That was not the truth then?”

“Well, you know what they say. There are always three different versions to every story. Yours, mine and the truth.” Varric said with a small sad smile. “So, let me tell you the truth about the Champion and all his siblings; and you'll understand why I didn't tell you before.”

Cassandra closed the book in her lap and set it to the side.

Varric took a breath and began to speak. “It started off pretty much the same as what I told you. Lothering was burning and the darkspawn were invading...

 

She woke up as she heard someone coming into the house. Her hand instinctively reaching for the small lumber axe that was by her bed. The night still lingered with only the faintest of sunlight shining over the hills. She quietly got to her feet as she advanced, her lyrium blue eyes glittering in the dark like jewels.

She advanced slowly and raised the axe to take a swing when the person turned around, sword in his hand.

“Carver?” She stared at the dark haired boy with the same lyrium blue eyes as all the rest of their family.

“Ava!” His voice was a surprise.

Both of them dropped their weapons and embraced each other in a hug. Her face lit up in a smile as she looked at her brother.

“What are you doing here? I thought you were at Ostagar?” She asked as she looked at him with curiosity.

“I should have listened to you, sis.” Carver said as he ran his fingers through his dark hair. It was tangled and matted, like he had not had a proper bath in several days. “Where is Garrett and mother?”

“Mother is still sleeping,” She responded before she moved to begin putting together the morning meal. “Garrett went to the neighbours, one of their cows is having a bad delivery.”

“Get mother and Bethany up, we need to get going.” Carver said as he grabbed her hand to keep her from gathering things.

“What? Why?” She asked, surprise colouring her features.

“King Cailan is dead.” Carver said with some urgency in his voice.

“Oh no...” She understood that well enough. They had always kept one step ahead of those in charge and knew of the king having no heirs. Not that it was a great secret in the kingdom of Ferelden.

“It gets worse.” Carver said before moving to shove a piece of bread into his mouth. “There were darkspawn there, they were overwhelming everyone.”

“I remember someone mentioning that when a few people came through town a few days ago.” She said with a frown as she moved to the door to her mother's bedroom.

“Who?”

“I didn't know them, they had a mabari with them though.” She paused as she thought about it. “Plus they took the Qunari that was caged at the edge of the fields. They headed north. I think someone said they were surviving grey wardens.”

“That's impossible.” Carver said with a haunted look in his eyes.

She wanted to ask more but she did not bother. She entered into her mother's room and roused her from her sleep and then went to do do the same with Bethany. It was a slightly happy reunion but it was quickly ruined when they began to hear sounds outside the house.

“We're leaving.” Their mother said, clearly wasting no time as she grabbed a few things and quickly went for the door.

“But Garrett isn't here,” Bethany started.

“We'll get him at the neighbours.” Their mother said with a nod.

The four of them slipped out into the cool morning air but it was clear that something was wrong. A silence hung over the village. No animals could be heard, not even the birds that normally haunted a nearby field. In the distance, Ava could make out something. She was not quite sure what it was but it was not a good thing. Smoke began to billow up in the air. Fear clenched in the pit of her stomach as she thought back to the dream she had a few nights before when the four strangers had strolled through Lothering.

 

_The smoke. It rises, kissing the sky. A sky that's the wrong colour. It's black and foul._

_There are things crawling through the ground, running on the ground. Dark things. Little thimgs._

_They're whispering. Constantly whispering._

 

She was staring for several moments before Carver grabbed her arm and pulled her along. He pressed the wooden staff into her hand with a nod.

“Carver...”

“You might need to,” He said with a comforting smile before ushering her before them.

They hurried along, heading straight for another little farmhouse. There, they were greeted with a horrific sight.

The creatures were terrible to look at. They were the size of men and had the same general shape but there was nothing human looking about them. Faces that seemed tortured and torn, teeth that were too sharp and eyes that seemed to have no eyelids. They seemed to wear armour but it was not a cohesive pattern among them all. Each one held weapons that seemed designed simply for cruelty.

Garrett stood in the thick of them, his staff twirling even as he willed his magic into a weapon against the things that attacked him. Their mabari, Mal, was equally as vicious. Attacking them as if they were rabbits in the field. Ava stood in awe at her brother but her other two siblings moved. Carver's sword arched through them, cutting them down where they stood. Bethany performed magic, not as strong as Garrett's but enough that it was helping to cut a path through the darkspawn.

Ava hung back with her mother until the fighting was done. Ava called her magic to herself then, letting it travel over her siblings and healing the minor aches that had come from fighting. None of them looked seriously injured and she was glad for that.

“Garrett!” Their mother shouted as she ran to embrace her eldest.

“Mother!” Garrett gave her a quick hug before glancing at Carver. “Carver?”

“No time to explain, Ostagar was overrun and so will Lothering be. We need to get out of here.”

Garrett nodded and led the way. They followed, as they had done since their father had passed a few years before. He had made Garrett promise to protect them and it was a vow their brother took seriously.

They rounded a corner and came to a halt. A group of darkspawn was just up ahead. Garrett motioned for them to go around and they all quickly went as quietly as they could. Carver led the way with the girls between him and Garrett. They were almost out of the way when Ava stepped on a twig. The crunch seemed to echo in that silence.

The darkspawn turned to look at them before they made an awful noise. It was a cross between a roar and a scream, and yet it still managed to sound like the gurgling noises a dying animal made. Garrett did not say a word before urging them on.

They hurried up the hill and away from Lothering even as the darkspawn followed behind them. They rounded a corner and their mother came to a stop, out of breath from the running. Ava moved to her side even as her siblings acted. Bethany pulled that magic from the air, a wall of fire to dance across the narrow pass they had just run through. Carver and Garrett moved to finish off those that had managed to get through.

Their mother stood there, shaking her head as the realization finally hit that there was no going back to Lothering.

“I think that's all of them.” Carver said, glancing between his siblings and their mother.

“For the moment.” Bethany added not quite looking at her younger sister.

“Maker save us, we've lost it all.” Their mother said, misery clear in her voice. “Everything your father and I built...”

“I know how much Lothering meant to you, but we have to move.” Garrett said, trying to comfort the distraught woman.

“Yes. You're right.” She agreed.

“We should have run sooner! Why did we wait so long?” Bethany's voice was almost angry and Ava found herself staring at her sister.

“Why are you looking at me? I've been running since Ostagar!” Carver said.

“Are you two insane? If we stand around, we'll die!” Garrett said as he looked back to see darkspawn just on the other side of the flames.

Ava went to put her opinion in but her mother spoke quicker, cutting her off.

“Please! Listen to your brother.” Her voice begged.

“Then let's go.” Carver said as he looked towards Garrett. “Lead on.”

Ava sighed before she looked over at Garrett. He quickly shook his head at her and she slipped into total silence. She followed after him as he led the way. Carver taking up the lead with their mother this time.

Around almost every corner, they encountered a group of Darkspawn. Small groups that Carver muttered and called 'Scouts' under his breath. Still, she did not voice her concern over what was happening or where they were going. Just that they were all together and fleeing the danger.

“Wait! Where are we going?” Bethany asked as she stopped at the top of a hill.

“Away from the darkspawn – Where else?” Carver said, looking at his sister like that was the dumbest question he had ever heard.

“I like that idea.” Ava said in agreement. She didn't care as long as they were out of here.

“And then where?” Bethany said as she tried to get her point across to him. “We can't just wander aimlessly!”

“Wherever we go, what's important is that we don't separate.” Garrett said as he looked towards Bethany, trying to keep his tone friendly even though anyone could see the annoyance on his face.

They were all so preoccupied discussing it with one another that no one really noticed when their mother looked thoughtful and then spoke up. “We can go to Kirkwall.”

“Kirkwall?” Garrett sounded surprised and looked at their mother in disbelief. “Are you sure that's wise?”

“There's a lot of templars in Kirkwall, Mother.” Bethany said, eyeing her mother cautiously.

“I know that, but we still have family there – and an estate.”

She sighed. “Then we need to get to Gwaren and take ship.”

“If we survive that long.” Carver said as he began to walk away. “I'll just be happy to get out of here.”

They all agreed and began moving forward, only to run into yet another group of darkspawn but this time, they were not alone.

Up ahead, Ava could see a red haired woman and a man in a suit of armour fighting the darkspawn. She watched as the man took a strike to the back and a darkspawn closed on him to finish him off but the woman stopped it. She was all fire and fury as she launched herself at the darkspawn, knocking it to the ground before she proceeded to start punching it to death.

Ava watched in amazement and she suddenly wished she could be more like that. A warrior woman. Tough and more capable of actually getting the job done instead of just hanging back behind everyone. Ava clutched at her staff tight as she thought about it.

“You will not have him!” The woman said, her voice an angry growl as she picked up a nearby sword. Even as the darkspawn tried to tear at her throat, she shoved the blade down and sliced through it's neck, killing him.

There was some fascination as the woman continued to move, taking the sword and picking up the shield that had been dropped. The man's arm was tugged over her shoulder as she looked at him with love in her eyes. She had seen her mother give that look to her father before he died and it was a bit heart wrenching. Ava could not hear what was whispered between them but she had her attention once more back to her siblings as they fought off the other darkspawn.

“You know you could help.” She heard Bethany's terse voice sent in her direction.

Ava fumbled a little before using her magic to once more sooth the pain her siblings were feeling. She knew that was not what Bethany meant and she tried. She reached forward with her magic, willing the fire to life in her hands as she threw the bit of fire at the darkspawn. She was almost worried that it would have no effect but it seemed to do the job quite well.

The battle was done shortly after that and they approached the other two. The woman was on the ground, tending to the man in the suit of amour. It was a bit awkward as she was telling him not to squirm but even more so when they all recognized the sign of the templars on his shield and armour. They knew what the templars did to mages like them. Apostates, outside the circles.

“Wesley, stop squirming, you're going to make it worse.” The woman said to the man.

He gently pushed her off before he got to his feet, his eyes blazing as he stared at Garrett. “Apostate - Keep your distance.” And there it was. At least he wasn't trying to smite them which was a good sign.

“Well, the maker has a sense of humour. Darkspawn and now a templar.” Bethany's voice was practically dripping with sarcasm. “I thought they all abandoned Lothering.”

“The darkspawn are clear in their intent but a mage is always unknown – The order dictates...” Wesley said, his hand waving in the air like the usual self righteous prigs that templars tended to be.

“Wesley...” The woman said with a small shake of her head.

“The order dictates...” Wesley took a step towards them, a sneer on his blood splattered face, but Garrett moved to interpose himself between the templar and the rest of the family.

Ava didn't need to see the glare on Garrett's face to know it was there. His shoulders had that tenseness about them that always said he was one step away from doing something that they might all regret later.

“Dear, they saved us,” The woman's voice was soft as she tried to calm him. “The maker understands.”

“Of course.” Wesley said, clearly relenting at the words of the woman.

“I am Aveline Vallen. This is my husband, Ser Wesley.” She said, “We can hate each other when we're safe from the horde.”

Ava couldn't deny the logic in the woman's voice and it made her wonder how a practical woman ended up with a templar for a husband.

“How bad is that wound?” Garrett said, looking from Aveline to Wesley.

I went to take a step forward, in case it was something I could heal.

“I think my sword arms a loss, even with healing.” Wesley said, his voice far calmer then it had been a moment ago.

“Then you will have mine – as always.” Aveline said, looking to her husband with love in her eyes and voice. She nodded to him before turning to look at the rest of us. “For now, we move with you. North is cut off. We barely escaped the main body of the horde.”

“Then we're trapped! The wilds are to the south! That's no way out!” Carver sounded angry as he responded it.

“We have no choice. The darkspawn have us fenced in. We go south.” Garrett said, looking over his shoulder at Carver.

Garrett gave a brief glance in Ava's direction as if he was begging her to say something but she remained silent, just watching them with those bright blue lyrium eyes. Then he was walking and everyone followed. Their mother stopped and glanced over the hills towards the smoke rising in the distance. It was all that remained of Lothering. Refugees, the dead and ruins.

“Mother?” Ava asked, offering her hand.

“It's alright, my dear girl.” She said with a smile before moving to catch up with the main group, Ava travelling behind her.

There were more darkspawn up ahead and they all moved together. Ava started using her magic but still, she hung back a little. She still used her powers just as her siblings did but she was never quite as quick at it as Bethany or Garrett. Compared to the two of them, she felt so completely inferior.

She could see it wearing on all of them as they fought the darkspawn that was in their way and then dealt with those that came up behind them. They must have cut down more then three dozen before they came to a slightly raised area. Below them, they could see the wilds that stretched out as far as the eye could see with a few mountains far in the distance.

The ground began to shake and they all looked around in surprise only to see a fearsome creature come running at them from just down the hill. It was taller then a man and twice as broad. Horns curved from the sickly grey skin. Ava watched as Garrett and Aveline dodged out of the way of it's charge. It ran past them and turned towards them. It left out a tremendous roar that shook her to her core. There had been stories about things like this, books about the darkspawn that called this thing before them an 'ogre'. The name definitely seemed appropriate.

And then it advanced.

It moved towards her, her mother and Bethany. Terror clung at Ava for a moment but it was quickly forgotten as Bethany shoved her out of the way. Ava stared as she fell, realizing that her sister had possibly saved her life but she could not help but watch as everything seemed to slow.

“Maker, give me strength.” Bethany said as she moved towards the creature. Fire dancing out along her staff as she tried to fight the creature one on one.

It took the fire on it's arm and waited for Bethany's cast to finish before it reached and grabbed her around her torso.

“Bethany!” Ava screamed as she scrambled to her feet.

There was only horror on all their faces as the ogre slammed Bethany into the ground several times. Each time, they heard the crunch of bone and saw the splatter of blood. The beast tossed Bethany's limp body like it was no more then a doll and she fell, discarded and unmoving. Ava's heart was in her throat as the ogre ran past her to face off against one of the others.

Their mother ran towards Bethany but Ava did not need to look to know her sister was dead. She heard her mother's cry but she turned with her brothers, the three of them moving to attack the ogre. Ava tried to blink away the hot tears on her cheeks as she used that hurt to pull at the magic.

 _My fault._ The thought came to her mind even as she willed the power of the fade to do her bidding. _If I hadn't been there... Bethy..._

It came easily to her. Natural. Like it was as simple as breathing. The fire wreathed around her as she launched fireball after fireball at the creature. She felt Garrett's magic in the air, crisper then her's but the two of them twined the power together.

Both Carver and Aveline were shouting something in the heat of battle but she did not hear it. All her focus was on killing the thing who had just taken her sister from them. A final blast of magic had the thing falling to the ground and Carver came over to stab it with his sword just to be on the safe side.

Grief clung to her but she did not look at her mother or the broken form of Bethany on the ground. Instead, she turned when Garrett spoke.

“There's more of them!”

For the first time in her life, she used her magic like a weapon. The grief was still there but there was a pleasure stirring within her and she did not know whether it was from using power that she had kept pent up for so long or if it was the simple joy in using the power to kill.

The hill top was littered with dead darkspawn by the time the battle had finished.

“Bethany, wake up!” Their mother's voice cut through the pleasure like a knife. The overwhelming despair almost too much to hear. “The battle's over! We're fine!”

“I'm sorry, Mistress.” Aveline said as she approached, sadness ringing in her voice even as her face betrayed her further. “Your daughter is gone.”

“No!” Their mother raged. “These things will not take Bethany!”

“Bethany risked her life to save us.” Garrett said as he knelt next to Bethany and their mother.

Ava felt shame in her cheeks and she could not look at her mother any longer. If she had just been quicker, then perhaps she could have done something to protect or even help her sister. Deep down, she knew that Bethany was dead because Ava had been in the way.

“I don't want a hero!” There was anger in that voice but it broke into sadness before she finished. “I want my daughter!”

She glared at Garrett and the anger returned to her voice. “How could you let her charge off like that!?” She placed the blame squarely at his feet. “Oh, my poor little girl. My sweetheart.”

Ava still did not go to her mother, and just stared at her hands.

“If we stand here weeping, the darkspawn will take the rest of us too!”

Ava glanced over at Carver as he spoke. She knew full well what he said was the truth but it was hard to really think of that when his twin was lying dead on the ground. Wesley approached Bethany's body and spoke to her mother but Ava did not listen. She stepped away from them, glancing down into the wilds below even as she saw more darkspawn approaching them. She turned back to the others when they all began to kneel and she joined them.

She heard the prayer as it was said but there was no comfort in it. It was only words.

Garrett got to his feet first as their mother continued to whisper something to the body of their sister.

“Our lives are more important to her then our prayers, let's go.” There was a determined note to his voice.

“Flames! We're too late.” Aveline said as she turned around to see the darkspawn coming up the hill.

Ava was surprised at their speed as there had been none close enough to reach them that quickly. She grimaced to herself as she nodded to her brothers and took up her place beside them. Lothering was gone, as was Bethany, it was time she started acting like a Hawke.

The darkspawn just kept coming and she could feel her body beginning to run down. She could see that Garrett was slowly losing his energy as was Carver. They could not keep this up for much longer.

“There's no end to them!” Carver said as he glanced between all of them.

Then there was a tremendous roar. It was far different then the one that had come from the Ogre which had just been a beast making noise. This sounded angry. Everyone turned to look up the side of the mountain from where the roar came, even the darkspawn looked to see what it was.

There, high above them was a strange shape that unfurled to reveal that it was a dragon. A terrible beast easily bigger then a house. It launched itself from that low peak and dove down towards them. It breathed flame as it went, scorching the earth and the darkspawn. It even launched a few into the air before landing and spouting another wave of fire at the fleeing darkspawn.

Ava watched as her brother hunched down, ready to fight and there was a clear look sent towards her and Carver. A look that said to run. Glumly, Ava realized he was planning on sacrificing himself to buy them time to escape. Perhaps unluckily for them, the dragon suddenly began to shift and change on the ground.

Waves of golden light came off the creature as it shifted to become human size, or more specifically a woman. She looked old, with white hair and small lines around her eyes. That white hair was pulled back from her face by an iron looking crown, and took on the shape of four horn like shapes behind her, a brownish red colored ribbon seemed to be wrapped around them to help with that look. Her eyes were a vibrant golden color and her lips were painted a dark color that was almost black. Her outfit was something else entirely. That same shade of dark brownish red for leather that was incrusted with metal pins. Black feathers from her shoulders. Despite the age of her face, there was an almost walking sex appeal about her. Armour graced up to her shoulders and to her thighs and she looked quite out of place.

She dragged a darkspawn in one grasp, the fires licking at her hands, before she dropped it and continued on towards them.

“Well, well, what have we here?” She asked as she put her hand on her hip. “It used to be we never got visitors in the Wilds, but now it seems they arrive in hordes!”

“I don't know what we would have done if you hadn't arrived.” Garrett said, looking gratefully at the woman.

“I do! You would have perished. You still may.” There was a small smile on her lips as she turned away. “If you wish to flee the darkspawn, you should know you are heading in the wrong direction.”

“So you're just going to leave us here?” Carver asked as he took a few steps to follow her.

“And why not?” She asked, turning to look over her shoulder. Those golden eyes gazed past Carver and stared straight at Ava who shied away from the intensity of that gaze. She then turned and her face was once more staring in Garrett's direction. “I spotted a most curious site: a mighty ogre, vanquished! Who could have perform such a feat?”

She shook her head. “But now my curiousity is sated and you are safe – for the moment. Is that not enough.”

“You could show me that trick of yours, that looks useful.” Garrett said, referring to her ability to turn into a dragon.

She laughed, a rich sound that hinted at the power that she was actually capable of. “I daresay it is. Such a clever tongue – for a mage.” She smiled warmly at Garett for a moment before posing a question to him. “Tell me, clever child, how do you intend to outrun the blight?”

“We're going to Kirkwall- in the Free Marches.” Carver said.

“Kirkwall? My, but that is quite the voyage you plan. So far – simply to flee the darkspawn.”

“Any better suggestions? I hear the Deep Roads are vacant now.” Garrett's voice was an almost sarcastic little whip, the words coming before he caught himself.

“Garrett!” Ava muttered under her breath. Her brother was going to get them all killed. This woman was just a woman a few moments ago, Maker knows what else she was capable of.

The woman laughed, the kind of belly laugh that came from true amusement. “Oh, you I like!”

Ava stared at the woman, her eyes wide. That tone of voice, she'd heard before. Older women who thought to call on her brother. A grown man who had seemingly no interest in wooing the women of Lothering though they all fluttered their lashes at him and tried to beg him without outright saying it.

“Hurtled into the chaos, you fight... and the world will shake before you.” She said to Garrett, turning to take a few steps as she muttered to herself. “Is it fate or chance? I can never decide.”

She turned and walked back towards us. “It appears fortune smiles on us both today. I may be able to help you yet.”

“Anything you could do for us would be appreciated.” Garrett said as he ignored both Carver and Ava.

“Should we even trust her?” Ava asked, cautious about the whole situation.

The woman turned to look at Ava and there was an unreadable expression on her face. Ava couldn't help but avert her eyes and looked down at her feet. There was something about the woman's gaze at her that made her feel full of guilt and shame.

“We don't even know what she is.” Carver said in agreement.

“I know what she is. The Witch of the Wilds.” Aveline said from where she had been by Wesley's side. The man had begun to look more sickly as time passed and Ava wondered if that injury was far worse then they had all believed it to be.

“Some call me that. Also Flemeth. Asha'bellanar. An 'old hag who talks too much.” She gave a small laugh. “Does it matter? I offer you this. I will get your group past the horde in exchange for a simple delivery to a place not far out of your way. Would you do this for a 'Witch of the Wilds'?”

 _We're dead._ That's all that went through Ava's mind. She knew the stories of what lurked in the wilds. _So, very very dead._

Garrett asked her some other questions but Ava wasn't listening. She was looking over at her mother who had seemed to become very frail over the last few minutes. Her mother was still kneeling next to Bethany's corpse and Ava wanted to move to comfort her but she couldn't. She remained still, just standing there and watching the distraught look on her mother's face.

“No! Leave him alone!”

Ava's head jerked towards Aveline who was on her feet and standing between Wesley and the rest of them. Her words were angry and there was a determined look in her face but there was also fear. Everyone could see it.

“What has been done to your man is within his blood already.” Flemeth said with finality and just a hint of sadness.

“You lie!”

“She's right, Aveline.” Wesley's said where he lay, his voice weak and sad. “I can feel the corruption inside me.”

Aveline looked down at him, grief beginning to creep into her face.

“There must be something we can do.” Ava said from where she stood, and once more was under the gaze of Flemeth. She found herself shifting from foot to foot as she tried hard not to look at the woman, fearful that she'd say or do the wrong thing and bring her wrath down upon all of them.

“The only cure I know is to become a Grey Warden.” Flemeth said calmly.

“And they all died at Ostagar.” Aveline's voice was faint.

“Not all but the last are now beyond your reach.” Flemeth responded with a small shrug.

“Aveline. Listen to me.” Wesley's voice had everyone's attention once more on him. His eyes had taken on a sickly sheen that almost looked like the eyes of an old man, blind and discoloured.

You can't ask this of me, I won't.” Aveline dropped to her knees next to him, her hand gently caressing his face.

“Please. The corruption is a slow death. I can't...” Wesley's voice had become weaker.

Garrett moved to kneel on the opposite side of Wesley and looked to Aveline. “He's your husband, Aveline. I can't decide his fate.”

Aveline looked over at Garrett with a sad and miserable look in her eyes before she nodded.

“Be strong, my love.” Wesley whispered to her even as the dying man knew what he was asking of his wife.

Wesley pulled the dagger free of it's sheath and lifted it above his chest, holding it there. He gave a weak nod to Aveline who then put her hand on it and shoved hard. The blade cut cleanly through the armour, sliding up between the two overlaying plates. It found his heart. Wesley gave a few gasping breathes before he lay still. Aveline reached over to close his eyes before she got to her feet.

Ava felt sadness creeping up into her gut as she looked at Aveline's face. That pain was raw and fresh. Far worse then what lurked on Ava's mother's face. Aveline had been the one to kill her own husband, a mercy killing but it was still a terrible thing to have to do.

Flemeth approached behind Aveline, an imposing figure. There was something regal with how she walked and almost seductive. It was a bit of a disconnect as the woman had to be old.

“Without an end, there can be no peace.” There was no sadness in the Witch's voice, but there was a hint of something that indicated familiarity. That she understood what Aveline was feeling at that moment. Flemeth turned and walked from them. “It gets no easier. Your struggles have only just begun.”

The witch kept her word and got them all to Gwaren, where they took ship. They sailed north across the waking sea, lashed by terrible storms. Two weeks they spent in that dark hold, packed in with the fearful and the desperate.

Ava had dreams then, like she did in Lothering. Nightmares of little substance but each one featuring the darkspawn. She confided in Carver about the dreams, not wanting to burden her eldest brother or mother about it but there was little privacy. Even Aveline knew of Ava's disquiet but no one said a word. They had all narrowly survived Lothering, and even Aveline had nightmares about Wesley.

And then they saw it. Kirkwall, the City of Chains.

So began their first year in Kirkwall.

 


	2. Kirkwall Year Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Now the story truly begins as the Hawkes must figure out a way to gather the coin needed for an expedition into the Deep Roads. A dangerous gamble that could set them all up for life. Their first mission for money ends up bringing them to the attention of a potential ally.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Minor edit to the events for the Bait and Switch quest.
> 
> Spoilers ahead!

They had managed to get in contact with their uncle, Gamlen, and he met them in a place called the Gallows where the ship had docked. He had seemed surprised to see them. The truth came out about their family, and their mother was devastated further. The estate was gone and he was dirt poor. Then he dropped the bombshell on them. They would need to work for a year to pay off the debt.

With nowhere else to go, Aveline went with them as they proved their worth to their new employer. An elven woman named Athenril who swore that whatever she had them do, it would not be completely morally terrible. Illegal, perhaps, but not something they would feel bad about at night. Their uncle had informed her that Garrett was an apostate but again, there was a promise made. This one of safety, she would help keep Garrett hidden for that year.

Both Garrett and Carver had refused allowing Ava to help for the first little while but finally, when their year of servitude was nearing an end, Garrett relented and took her along with him on the little missions. Never anything dangerous. More often, he left her home with their mother. It was an annoyance but she understood, for the most part. She was clumsy when it came to casting but she was getting better at it.

In that last year, Garrett became more of a story told around Low Town. Everyone began calling him 'Hawke'. Just using his last name like he was some symbol or boogeyman in the dark. Garrett gave up on correcting them.

Finally, it was a clear day when they were free of their servitude and Garrett, or Hawke, was now free to go about his business. He left the mabari at the home to watch over her while he and Carver slipped out.

 

_There was fire again. The city was burning. The little things. They were running about. Scurrying. Climbing._

_Bodies. They were scurrying over bodies._

_Dead and dying, piled high like a monument._

_The fire raged._

_There was something up ahead. A thing much larger then the little things. It was wrong._

_Twisted and dark. It roared into the blackened sky._

_But there was a light. Shining. It blinded and the larger thing was no more._

_In it's absence there was not relief._

_There was only bitterness._

 

She had been sleeping and gave an annoyed note when she woke up. Rousing from her slumber to find the mabari licking at her face. For all the claims that it was a war dog, it could be quite friendly at times.

“Mal!” She groaned, shoving at it. “Off!”

The dog whined but did as it was told. It flounced onto the floor and gave a wiggle before rolling over onto it's belly for rubs.

She sighed as she moved enough to lean to rub the silly thing's stomach. She knew it was more intelligent then most creatures and she was certain it was more intelligent then most people. It gave a sound of approval as it got back to it's feet.

“I'm up, I'm up.” She grumbled even as she slid from the small little mat that passed as her bed. It was hard and her muscles ached but it was better then nothing. She groaned, stretching even as the dog brought her boots over to her. She eyed it for a moment before sighing. “Let me guess, Garrett and Carver are gone but you want to go for a walk?”

The dog barked in agreement and she sighed. Then she remembered where Garrett had planed on going to day and she hurried to get up and get dressed. She quickly tied her hair back in one of the purple ribbons she owned. Prized possessions that were all that remained of the favours of the boys back in Lothering. Not that it mattered. Lothering was just another memory. A half remembered dream of people she knew were dead. She was just glad they didn't feature in her dreams as the main attractions as she wasn't quite sure she could handle that.

She shivered at the thought, her mind going back to Bethany.

_My fault._

The guilt always came as she thought of her sister. Her mother had railed against Garrett, blaming him for what had happened but Ava knew that it was her fault. She had been the one in the way. She was the one who had not been using the magic that was born to her. If she had then maybe Bethany would be here instead of her. She was thankful to whatever was out there that Bethany never showed in her dreams.

Mal gave a soft whine at her feet and she glanced down at him. Gently patting his head.

“Sorry boy,” She said with a smile as she scratched behind his ear. “Just thinking of some things.”

She opened the door and lead the way out. The dog following after her.

The hovel they called home was tiny, almost claustrophobic. Three tiny rooms for five people and one mabari. It was definitely not like the farmhouse back in Lothering but that was far in the past. She glanced over at the two people remaining there. Her uncle Gamlen, with sunken cheeks and the eyes of a weasel, and her mother Leandra, with a determined if sad look in those blue eyes.

“Carver and Garrett gone again?” Ava asked, glancing at her mother as she spoke.

“Yes,” She responded, clearly not going to explain where they had gone.

Ava understood it well enough. Her mother wanted her to remain close. With Bethany dead, she only had one daughter left and the tomboy mage was going to get forced into the role her sister had once filled. She had never been the one for the girly things, having wanted to be a soldier. Even trying to convince her family to get her a sword. Much good that did when she was seven and began showing signs of magic. Late bloomer, her father had called her with sad eyes.

“I'm heading out with Mal.” She said as she waved to her mother and headed for the door.

“Ava, wa...”

She did not hear the rest as she stepped out into the noisy sounds of Low Town. Mal was beside her like always, excited to be out of the house. He bounded around the top of the stairs leading into their home as she closed the door behind her. Her mother did not follow her, something she had realized after the first half a year here.

She looked down into the street, watching the people wander by. There was something about Low Town that was almost comforting but there was a danger there as well. It was not the poorest district in the city but it was close. There was the tint of salt in the air from the nearby sea, but there were other smells. Leather, metal, baked goods. Everything wafted by the house. It had taken some time to get used to that smell when they first arrived as it was unlike Lothering.

It was more then just the smell. There were more people here in Low Town then there had been in all the homes in Lothering, she was certain there were more people here then even in Redcliffe. Humans were the most common but there were was an alienage full of elves, then there were the few dwarves but the most startling thing she had found were the Qunari.

She had only ever met one Qunari before and he had not really talked to any of them when they pestered him in his cage. He had been quiet and looked just like a tall grey human. The ones here all had horns and diabolical face paint. More then once, she had been warned not to talk to them and so she avoided them. Not that she ever really went anywhere by herself. Carver and Garrett would have a heart attack if she tried.

“Alright, Mal.” She said as she looked down at the mabari, “Find Garrett.”

The dog gave a yip like noise before he started off. She followed behind it, always just one step behind the hound. Not that the dog ever moved too fast for her. He understood that she was human and not as fast as him and his kind.

_Definitely more intelligent then most humans._

It led the way through Low Town and she picked out the locations. There was the Hanged Man, a tavern just a few blocks away from their lovely home. There was also a small market there with everything from the goods an Adventurer would need to simple things for the home. She never stayed long as she simply did not have the coin for those things.

The sellers all called out, trying to entice her and others to come purchase their wares but they were ignored.

Mal had a goal in mind, following his nose to lead her to where Garrett and Carver were. He led her out of Low Town and into the wealthier part of town. Aptly named High Town, she remembered her mother saying something about her family once having an estate somewhere amongst the tall buildings. Of course, she had no idea which one it was as her mother had yet to discuss it with them.

There was a market here as well. A decently sized one that had almost the same gear you could find in Low Town. Just done with fancier designs and for quite a few more silvers. She thought about trying to work to get money to purchase something nice for her mother but she knew that was right out of the question. Her mother had made it clear that she didn't like it when Ava went with the others on their missions. Going out of her way to keep the youngest Hawke from being out and about.

They travelled all the way through High Town before Mal gave a sharp bark and headed down one of the side streets to a small plaza. There, she could see Garrett and Carver in rapt discussion with a shorter man. Carver looked up at her and gave Garrett a nudge before jerking his head in her direction. Garrett said nothing as she approached. Behind them, some distance away, she could see other dwarves. All gathered beneath a giant statue that looked almost dwarven. It seemed this was where the caravan into the Deep Roads was being plotted out.

It was when she got nearer, she realized that the man they were talking to was in fact a dwarf. She found herself staring at him. She had seen dwarves before but never had she seen one without a beard. They all seemed quite proud of the facial hair. This one, was completely clean shaven but he wore his shirt open and had a chest full of hair. A rather large, and intricate, looking crossbow was strapped to his back.

“Exactly how many siblings _do_ you have, Hawke?” The dwarf asked, his voice light and jovial.

“Just the two...” There was an unspoken 'Now' from Garrett but he glanced over at her. “Varric Tethras, this is Ava.”

Ava went to shake his hand and was surprised when he took it to give her a polite kiss across the knuckles. The smile was all charm as he looked up at her.

“Pleasure.” She said with a smile at him.

“Oh, the pleasure is all mine, Lady Hawke.” He said with a grin at her.

Mal took that moment to give an annoyed bark before she could correct him. The Hawkes were not nobility in Kirkwall.

“And that's Mal.” Garrett said with an irritated note in his voice before rubbing his forehead. “If you'll excuse us for a moment, Varric.”

“Certainly, Hawke.” Varric said as he took a few respectful steps backwards although his eyes twinkled with curiosity.

“What are you doing here?” Garrett practically hissed it through his clenched teeth. “I thought I told mother to keep you at the house?”

She put her hands on her hips as she regarded her brother. “I can help.”

“Ava...” Carver started.

“Don't you Ava me.” She said with a glare at him. “You left me behind too.”

Garrett rubbed his face a little more before speaking. “Ava, you don't need to do anything. We're more then capable of handling things.”

“And I'm just as capable of helping too.” Ava said with a small pout. “I am not staying in that house with mother and Gamlen, I'll go nuts.”

Mal whined as the dog looked between her and Garrett. The hound's loyalty momentarily divided between the two of them.

“Ava...” Garrett shook his head. “Alright... fine. You can come with us but I swear, the first moment you get hurt, you're going back to the house and you're never coming with us again.”

“Sounds good to me.” She said with a small grin, delighted that he had agreed to her.

“Did you even bring your staff with you?” Carver asked her.

“Oh... no... I didn't.” Ava gave a slightly sheepish look before rubbing the back of her head.

“That's alright, we can swing by the house to pick it up after we talk to Aveline.” Garrett said, once more looking like he was beyond irritated at the concept of having her along.

_Well, too bad._ Ava thought to herself. _I'm not going to be weak any more. I'm going to fight. You'll see. I'll be useful. I'll be like Bethany._

Garrett motioned over to Varric and the dwarf acted like he had not heard a thing but the smile was like the cat that ate the canary.

“Alright then, to speak with your guard friend?” Varric said with a winning smile. “And then to my other contacts.”

“Yes, to speak with Aveline.”

They all started walking for the keep, the political centre of Kirkwall. Varric turned and spoke to Ava as they went.

“So... you don't seem to be carrying any weapons,” He said with a small chuckle before he was handing her a small dagger that had seemingly appeared out of nowhere. “Not much, but you really shouldn't be wandering around Kirkwall without something.”

“I may not be carrying a weapon but I do have something.” Ava said with a small grin.

“And what's that?” Varric asked, curious.

“That'd be Mal.” She said with a laugh as she pointed at the mabari who growled and bared his teeth for show.

“Fair enough, I think he would scare off any would be muggers.”

Mal gave a sharp but happy bark in response.

Varric's laugh was infectious and she found herself laughing with them as they walked. Even if it was too early to tell if Garrett was going to trust the dwarf, she certainly hoped so. She found him rather pleasant and it was definitely a nice change then dealing with just her family all the time.

And for the first time since Lothering, she felt almost normal.

 

 

Aveline did have a mission of sorts for them. Something about a guard route but Ava never really paid it any mind. She was too busy laughing at Varric's jokes. Whatever it was, it was apparently quite serious as the woman seemed to think it was important enough to offer paying Garrett. He almost refused, playing the saint for his friend but Aveline insisted. So off they went, the five of them (six if you counted Mal) and headed for Low Town to grab Ava's staff.

Varric did not seem surprised when it was made clear that she was a mage but he didn't mention it either. It seemed like it was just another unimportant little detail in the lives of his new friends. He did, however, convince Garrett to stop a moment in the Hanged Man.

Aveline scowled before speaking up. “I'll be at the barracks until you're not busy, Hawke... just remember that it is important.” She turned on her heel and strode back up to High Town.

Garrett sighed before following Varric further into the Hanged Man, going to discuss things in private with the dwarf.

Carver glanced over at Ava with a shrug before he went to sit, dragging her along with him.

“Dogs aren't allowed.” The barkeep said and Mal gave a sound somewhere between a growl and a whine.

“It's okay boy, we'll be back out soon.” Carver said to the mabari who moved to wait in the little alcove just between the inner door and the one out.

Ava moved to sit next to her brother and idly tapped her fingers on the table. They both were waiting for the other two to finish their conversation.

“I wonder what's so important that we had to wait down here for this?” Ava said with a bored look, almost tempted to go and see what ale really tastes like.

“Secretive. I'll tell you when we get home later.” Carver said with a sigh. “You really should have stayed home, Ava.”

“Not a chance.” She shot her brother a daggered look.

“Look, we already lost one sister...”

That stung a little even though she knew he didn't mean anything by it. Carver was more known for speak first, think later but that didn't matter. He was her brother just as Garrett was.

“That works both ways, you know.” Ava said, idly playing with the edge of her sleeve. “You, Garrett and mum are all I've got left. It's not right for the two of you to constantly run off and play hero.”

He quirked an eyebrow at her before speaking. “We don't run off to play hero.” There was a sigh. “You didn't even want to do anything like this back in Lothering.”

“That was back in Lothering.”

“Ava,” He shook his head at her. “This isn't a game.”

“I know that.” She said as she looked over at him, a deadly serious look on her face. “I can't stay home, Carver. Not in there. Mother still looks miserable, even after a year. Gamlen often comes home smelling like booze and cheap perfume. I'd rather be out with you and Garrett. At least then I could be doing something.”

_I can be useful!_

“Can't you get a normal job?”

“Can't you?”

The two of them continued to bicker back and forth, both determined that they were right in their conversations. Finally, after what seemed like hours, Garrett and Varric finally came down the stairs and motioned for them to follow them out. Mal perked up as they came near and the dog padded along easily enough.

They had been there so long that the sun had gone down. Without a word, they marched back to the house. It was quiet and both Gamlen and Leandra seemed to be out. Ava hurried to get her staff out of their room and paused for a moment to look at it. It was an old staff, a hand me down from Bethany (who in turn got it from Garrett) and the wood had that polished look to it. Returning to find Garrett mulling over some papers on the small desk. He seemed very focused on them and she couldn't help but quirk an eyebrow.

“What's up?”

“Just something about a job. C'mon, the others are waiting outside.”

They walked out and rejoined Varric and Carver who were waiting patiently by the stairway up. The two looked like they had been discussing something that was about as interesting as the different colours of nugs.

“Gotta head back towards the Hanged Man for a sec.” Garrett said and he led the way.

There wasn't really anything to worry about as they went. They had already dealt with the thugs who liked to creep in the dark. Garrett had been quite insistent on that a few nights ago. Angry that one of them had threatened their mother while she had been coming home from wherever she got to during the day.

Just down a flight of stairs from the Hanged Man, in the market proper, there was a nervous looking dwarf. He all but jumped out of his skin when Garrett went to talk to him. Ava tilted her head for a moment before she ignored the conversation at hand.

“So... Varric...” Ava found herself asking. “Why don't you have a beard?”

“Lost it in a game of Wicked Grace.” He said with a small smile. “Looked better on the other guy anyway.”

“Really?” She asked with a quirked eyebrow, curiosity shining in those lyrium blue eyes of her's.

“Not really,” He said it with a laugh before shaking his head. “I just didn't like having one.”

“Oh, well that does make sense.” Ava said with a smile.

That short discourse went the entire length of the conversation between Garrett and the other dwarf. There was a frown on his face and everyone turned to look at him, waiting for an explanation.

“Come on, time to go to the alienage.”

Garrett strode off, everyone following like obedient followers. It was strange how they all fit in line with him but she kind of understood why. Her eldest brother practically oozed confidence and he walked with the grace of someone who was more then capable in a fight. It helped that both her and Carver deferred to his decision most of the time but she could not figure out why.

They entered the alienage and she stopped to stare at the tree. It was tall. Taller then anything she had ever seen before. The leaves seemed to shine in the moonlight and she just continued to stare.

 

_Leaves that were once green. They're red and black. Falling. Falling down like little people._

_They're all around the tree. Staring upwards. Empty mouths, blank eyes._

_Blood pools at the bottom of the tree, dripping from the branches._

 

“You alright, Little Hawke?”

Varric's voice at her side made her break out of her thought process. She looked a little sheepishly at him as she rubbed the back of her neck. She did not want to tell the nice dwarf that there was any problem at all.

“It's nothing, just... never seen a tree quite like that before.”

Varric's face said he clearly did not believe her but he did not pry at it.

Carver, on the other hand, gave her a look that said he knew what had just happened but he did not speak either. Garrett hadn't seemed to notice at all. Instead, he was focusing on the doors up ahead.

He led the way to one, all of them following him like they had since they started out. He pushed opened the door and they all filed in. At first the room appeared to be empty but it was Varric who moved first. His hand coming up as he moved in front of them and interposed his body between them and one of the two doors in the little place.

“Watch out... someone set a trap here.” The dwarf busied himself with the device even as Garrett began to move around the room.

This place was nothing spectacular, and was almost identical to the house they shared with Gamlen. Maybe a little bit bigger but not by much. Garrett went to the other door while Varric disabled the trap. The door was opened and Garrett came back with a shrug.

“Nothing in there, guess it's this way.”

“That's make sense, what with the traps.” Varric said with a chuckle.

They pushed open the door and found themselves surrounded by thugs. There was a small note of surprise from her brother and she could have swore she heard the dwarf say something colourful about Andraste's underclothes but her mind became wrapped up in using her magic.

It was like it always was. An almost pleasurable sense as she brought fire to life like it was nothing. That power had come easier in the last few months but she had been using her magic more often. Fire practically dripped from her hands. She was the fire.

_No, no! Reign it back, Ava._

She struggled for a moment before she pulled that power into herself. When the battle was done, she let it flow out again, this time in the wave of healing that eased their wounds.

Varric glanced over at her with a strange look on his face but he said nothing.

Garrett paid it no mind as he walked towards the chest in the corner. Everyone looked at him in mild surprise before he shrugged. “This is what we were here for, apparently there is something important in here that Anso – that's the dwarf who hired us – was looking for.” He opened the chest and the look of confusion was almost priceless. “It's empty?”

“Really?” Varric said as he glanced in the box. “Well, I'm a nug's uncle.”

“I think someone tipped them off,” Carver said with a grim smile. “You know what that means.”

“There's more outside?” Garrett said, the question came with a chuckle before he led the way back out.

Sure enough, there were more enemies waiting for them outside.

“That's not the elf! Who is that?” A woman, dressed in the same matching armour as the rest, said as she strode forward.

“Genius.” Ava muttered under her breath and she was sure she heard a snort from Varric.

“It doesn't matter! We were told to kill whoever enters the house!” One of the men said as he drew his sword.

That was the only warning that came from the men as they turned to attack them. Ava had thought to just use her staff when she felt it. The presence of another mage. She zeroed in on him even as her brothers, and Varric, focused on the rest of them.

She could feel Garrett's magic all around her. Familiar and warm. The enemy mage's magic was foreign an with an edge that spoke of training. Like a thread, she latched her own energy onto his. Pulling at his magic, willing it to become _her's._ She watched the other mage as she felt the power flowing through her. The look of confusion as the fire in his hands seemed to fade to nothing, then the look of panic as his shield failed. She licked her lips like a hungry thing as her eyes practically sparked with the power.

She had only done it once before, by accident to Bethany and her sister had been beyond upset with her. Now, she did it on purpose to this man who would seek to hurt her and her brothers. She was so lost in it that she didn't even notice that the fighting had stopped. Carver finishing off that mage and breaking her concentration.

She shook her head as she tired to get away from the overwhelming high of power coursing through her.

Garrett looked over at her, concern shining in his own lyrium blue eyes but he didn't say a thing. Neither did the other two. Instead, they simply headed in the direction of the man who had given them this little job. As they neared the stairs, they stopped at the sounds of footsteps.

They all instantly went into that wary mode, prepared for another battle if needed. All four sets of eyes fixated on the man who walked out from at the top of the steps. He wore the same armour as the men they had just defeated and that had them all on edge.

“I don't know who you are, friend but you made a serious mistake coming here,” The captain said as he stood there with a glare. “Lieutenant, I want everyone in the clearing. Now!”

The lieutenant staggered out, spitting up blood before gasping out “Captain!” and then falling to the ground. Blood splattered everywhere and the injury the man suffered was clear.

A few moments later and the obvious reason for that man's death walked around the corner. An elf with white hair and an almost black armour strode from the shadows. The armour looked like it was more trouble then it was worth, full of points and sharp edges. Even his gloves seemed to have those edges. A pair of vivid green eyes peered from behind those white bangs. Ava could see the faint lines of tattoos along his arms, neck and up to his lower lip. She stared at his lip for a moment longer then she should, and blushed when she realized that Carver was staring at her with a 'Really?' kind of look on his face.

The elf stepped around the corner towards the people standing there, Ava watching him move. He seemed more like an animal, almost predatory as he walked. His voice was an irritated growl. “Your men are dead and your trap has failed. I suggest running back to your master while you can.”

“You're going no where, Slave!”

Ava's head snapped to the soldier when he said that, her gaze darkening at the mere thought that someone would enslave another.

The elf whirled, rage on his face as the tattoos all along his skin lit up in a flash of very pale blue light. His fist slamming into the man's chest and then through it with an almost horrifying noise, like the crunch of bone and flesh. He jerked his hand free and she was surprised to see it mostly clean. “I am not a slave!”

Then he turned to look at them, those green eyes darting between all of them before settling on her. There was something about that gaze that made her heart beat speed up. This man, this elf, was danger. He wore it like a badge or shield.

Maker help her but she could not help but stare back at him.

She shifted uncomfortably as he began to talk to Garrett. Instead, she turned to look towards the tree behind them. She feigned disinterest in what was being said as it was better then watching him flit about back and forth. Carver and Varric seemed to listen but she was merely looking at the tree. She noticed then, that there was red painted around the base of it, symbols were etched along that paint but she had no idea what it meant. Her eyes flicked up to the leaves again.

 

_The leaves were falling, like droplets. Like blood. Dripping. Falling. Cascading over her toes._

_Her feet. They're bare. The blood is like the waves on a beach, gently lapping at her feet._

 

She felt a gentle squeeze on her shoulder and turned to see Carver looking at her with concern. She blinked at him, and realized that Garrett was talking with the Elf about some other job.

“Are you alright?” Carver's voice came low, not loud enough for Garrett to hear them.

“Yeah... just tired.” She said before she stretched. “I haven't done much like this in a while.”

“Maybe you shouldn't have come...” Carver said, concern in his voice.

“Oh, it's fine, Carver.” She said with a smile that she didn't really feel. “If Garrett is leading you off on another little adventure, I'll just stay at home and turn in early.”

“Good.” Carver said before turning to look in the direction of his brother and the elf.

By then, it was clear that whatever business they were doing, was done as the Elf wandered off. He gave a parting glance towards the four of them and then he was gone around the corner.

“So, who's up for some slaver killing?” Garrett's voice cut through the silence before he started up the stairs.

“I'll be sitting this one out.” Ava said with a small smile. “Mother does expect me to go with her to the market in High Town tomorrow and it is getting late.”

It was so easy to lie to Garrett. It always was. He never seemed to take it in any other way as he led the way. She bade them all good night before she slipped into the house. Gamlen and her mother still weren't home but she expected that. Her uncle was probably off getting drunk and wasting what little coin he had. Mother... well she wasn't sure about where her mother was.

Mal followed her, and dropped down in his place near the door.

She didn't bother changing as she crawled into her sleeping place. Her blanket pulled firmly over her head as she drifted off into a fitful sleep. Her dreams full of bleeding trees and an elf with a predatory look.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ava uses a variation of the spell Mana Drain from Dragon Age: Origins for the curious.
> 
> Mal the Mabari named for their father Malcolm.
> 
> I also love my spellcheck, it wanted to change Redcliffe to Radcliffe. Guess it's a Harry Potter fan.


	3. Slaves and Mages

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris meets them for the first time but he's forced to face the reality that he will have to be dealing with mages. The horror of it all.

He had watched them as they traveled through the alienage. They had gone into the building as expected and then he had turned to wait. He thought over the group he had seen go in. One was short like a dwarf but lacked the usual beard that associated with them. The other three bore some similarities, but they were humans and that was to be expected. The four of them had been bickering like old friends.

He waited and was rewarded when they came out. The fight that followed was over quickly and he watched the leader of the slavers walk out like it was a stroll in the park. Even as the man talked, Fenris finished off the rest of his men.

“I don't know who you are, friend but you made a serious mistake coming here,” The captain said as he stood there with a glare. “Lieutenant, I want everyone in the clearing. Now!”

The lieutenant staggered out, spitting up blood before gasping out “Captain!” and then falling to the ground.

Fenris stepped around the corner towards the people standing there, ignoring the Captain as he walked towards the group of four. His voice was an irritated growl. “Your men are dead and your trap has failed. I suggest running back to your master while you can.”

“You're going no where, Slave!”

Fenris whirled, rage on his face as the lyrium tattoos all along his skin lit up. His fist slamming into the man's chest and then through it with a satisfying noise. He felt the man's heart in his hand for a moment before he tore it out. “I am not a slave!”

He turned towards the group of four and regarded them calmly like this was just another day for him. In truth, it was. Slavers had hounded him for some time now and this was just another meeting for him. He looked over at the four and sized them up before speaking again.

The man was tall with hair as black as night but it was the eyes that was the most attention grabbing. They were a shade of blue that was bordering on inhuman. There was a streak of red blood across his nose that was a stark contrast. There was a strange air about but he guessed that was from the mages the bandits had in their employ.

His gaze flicked from him to the man gripping a sword just to his left and he could see the similarities in them but the other man was far less confident in his abilities. He seemed to be slightly younger then the one in the front. Then there was the fourth member of that little party.

She was younger then the man with the sword but she seemed more unsure then him. Unlike the other two, her hair was not black. It was a bright red, almost like the shade of fresh blood but even more vibrant. A small purple ribbon held her hair back in a braid. She had the same lyrium blue eyes as the other two but there was an intensity to them that seemed out of place in the softness of her face.

He felt a stirring as he gazed at her for a moment before his gaze returned to the man in the lead. The thoughts of the woman was pushed out of his mind as he dealt with the situation at hand.

“I apologize,” His voice was still that usual growl but he was calm as he paced a few steps. “When I asked Anso to provide a distraction for the hunters, I had no idea that they would be so... numerous.”

“I take it these men were looking for you?” The man in the lead said as the four of them began to relax.

“Correct.” He turned to look at them, noticing that the woman had wandered a little from the group. “My name is Fenris. These men were Imperial bounty hunters seeking to recover a magister's lost property.” There was a slightly disgusted look as he said it before he met the man in the lead's eyes. “Namely myself.”

He quickly looked away, feeling that he might insult the man if he stared too long. It was still odd for him to step into the role of a free man when he had spent so long with the leash of another around his neck.

“They were trying to lure me into the open. Crude as their methods were, I could not face them alone.” He bowed his head in thanks. “Thankfully, Anso chose wisely.”

“Everything Anso said was a lie then?”

“Not everything. Your employer was not simply who you believed.” Fenris responded.

Fenris continued to watch their expressions. They were all battle hardened, he could see that. Even the woman was far more then just the usual civilian wandering the streets of Kirkwall. Their clothes were blood splattered from their recent fights but that did not phase him any. He had lost count how many times had he worn the same look and had that same flash of red on his armour or skin.

“If they were really trying to recapture you then I'm happy I helped.” The dark haired man said with a nod. The others all seemed to nod in agreement with the sentiment.

“I have met few in my travels who sought anything more then personal gain.” Fenris said as he looked down for a moment, there was only the faintest twinge of guilt for getting the strangers involved but it was quickly gone. He looked back up with a curious expression. “If I may ask. What was in the chest? The one they kept in the house?”

“It was empty.”

“I suppose it was too much to hope for. Even so, I had to know.” He said with a small sigh as he turned away. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw the woman get an almost faraway look in her eyes as she looked at the tree. He said nothing about it, even if it was curious thing.

“You didn't need to lie to get my help.” The man in the lead said, his voice calm despite the obvious annoyance.

“That remains to be seen,” Fenris said as he bent down to search the captain that he had just killed. He found what he was looking for and stood up to regard the man who had helped him. “It's as I thought. My former master accompanied them to the city.

“I know you have questions, but I must confront him before he flees. I will need your help.”

“It sounds like you intend to do more then talk.”

“Danarius wants to strip the flesh from my bones and has sent so many hunters that I have lost track,” Fenris voice turned dark as he spoke, his eyebrows narrowing as he glared at the thought. “And before that, he kept me on a leash like a Qunari mage, a personal pet to mock Qunari custom.

“So yes, I intend to do more then just talk.”

“If it means fighting more slavers, I will help you.”

“I will find a way to repay you, I swear it.” Fenris said with a nod to them, not really thinking about anything other then ripping Danarius' heart from his chest. “The magister is staying at a mansion in Hightown. Meet me there as soon as you can. We must enter before morning.”

He turned to go even as he heard the younger dark haired man lean to speak to the woman. It was a curious thing but not important. Right now, there was only one thing he needed to do and that was get to Danarius and take his life.

 

 

When they had arrived at the mansion, he saw that the woman was no longer with them; instead replaced by a stern looking woman with ginger hair. It was not as vibrant as the other woman and she had the look of a soldier as opposed to the softness of the other refugee. He paid it no mind and explained things as they were about to happen. It as only afterwards when he learned that his prey was not within that he building. His rage at losing at sent him outside but now he was faced with the reality. This man who had helped him, this Hawke, was a mage.

Still, the conversation with the man was calming and he agreed to assist the man further. They parted ways for the moment, and Fenris took up residence within the mansion that they had eliminated the slavers from within. It was comforting as he sat there in one of the few chairs that had not been broken. A fire raging behind him as he slipped off. That was the first night that he dreamed of those lyrium blue eyes.

 

_She is standing there, looking at the tree. This time, they are alone. She's staring at it with a strange look on her face. Her hair is held in place by a purple ribbon. He stifled the urge to reach forward and pull it free. Thoughts of what she would look like if her hair was loose bubbled up in his mind._

_He found himself licking his lips as he approached her. Trying to think of something to say to her. Anything to break the silence that seemed to hang in the alienage. He saw the curve of her face, the way those eyes seemed to be unfocused as if she was lost in thought, but then his eyes flicked to her lips._

“ _Greetings...” He finally managed._

_She turned to look at him and he was once more faced with those vibrant eyes. He had only ever seen that shade in raw lyrium, fresh from the earth. There is something in those eyes. A pain that is too intense for him to look long._

_He turns his head away to look at the tree and he can hear her speak._

“ _They're falling.”_

_Her voice sounded a little off. Not quite right._

“ _What?”_

“ _The leaves.”_

_He glanced up to the tree and saw the leaves falling, leaving it bare. He frowned as he looked at the ground, only to see that the leaves disappear as they hit the ground._

_He glanced over at her to see a silver collar around her neck. It glinted, shining as if someone was trying to use a candle to illuminate it. His frown deepened as runes in blood red began to glow all around the collar. He knew them as the runes used to contain a mage, distorted versions of the Qunari collars to contain their mages. The lyrium blue eyes suddenly losing their vibrancy, becoming dull and almost distant._

“ _They're falling.”_

_She said again and he glanced up at the tree as if expecting more leaves to be falling. Her voice seemed farther away._

“ _Not the leaves.”_

_His eyes flicked back to her but he found she was not alone. Standing behind her, his hands on her shoulders, was Danarius. He had long fingers gripping tight into the top of her shoulders, beads of red blood beginning to drip from them._

_Fenris felt powerless to move._

“ _It all falls.”_

_She said again even as Danarius let go of her shoulders. One hand guided her chin back while the other drew a knife across her neck, slicing almost from ear to ear._

_Blood gushed out like a fountain. Bright red. Hot when it hit his face._

_He screamed in his dream._

  
  


And he woke up in the chair. Bottle of wine still beside him. He felt a cold sweat on his skin as he sat up. Deep breathes to still the rapid beating of his heart. He had thought that they would find Danarius in this mansion but now he was just being haunted by ghosts of the monster who would flay him for the lyrium marks on his skin.

He growled at himself, cursing in Tevene as he got up and paced back and forth.

His mind wandered to her, and the similarities matched up. She had carried a staff like Hawke. The same blue eyes, that same intensity. His lips curled back in a snarl as he thought about it. A mage.

_Fenhedis!_

That attraction he felt was squashed down as far as he could get it before he went to take another drink of his wine. He would help this Hawke but he would not steal another glance at the red haired sibling.

He felt nothing but disgust as he unclasped the armour from himself and moved to find a comfortable place to try and get some true sleep.

 


	4. The Bone Pit

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Or the time everyone convinced Hawke to take Ava on a mission and she taunted a dragon.

_She was running. The streets were lit with fire._

_Fire and blood._

_She was trying to get to the hovel in low town but it seemed every turn she took, always took her back to the alienage and that tree._

_The elves all remained standing around it. Staring up at it as if it was a symbol of something important._

_She dared not look at it._

_There would be blood in the leaves._

_Blood in the roots._

_Blood._

_Blood._

_Blood._

“ _You shouldn't look, poppet.”_

_She froze and took a shaky breath. She refused to turn and look. She knew what would be there. Every time, it was a new one, preying on her thoughts and emotions but they all had the same voice. They were the things at the edge of her dreams that tried to get in._

“ _Oh, poppet, don't be like that.”_

“ _Go away.”_

“ _Look at me first, poppet,” The voice called, a sweet seductive sound. “Let me see those beautiful lyrium blue eyes of yours.”_

“ _Go. Away.”_

_She grit her teeth and tried to focus on something else. To think of something other then the fingers that slid across her shoulders and dragged nails against her neck. She swallowed and took a deep breath._

“ _Do I still make you weak in the knees, girl?”_

_She didn't answer._

“ _Awww... you're hurting my feelings.”_

“ _Shame.” She managed._

_That brought a hard grip on a shoulder and she was forcibly twisted to look into the eyes of the thing that haunted her dream. The form was that of a young man that she'd known in Lothering. In the real world, he was a handsome sort of fellow with sandy blonde hair and laughing brown eyes. This version, however, was twisted. The tanned skin was grey and mottled, looking very much like Wesley's had before Aveline mercy killed him. The eyes were black and taunting. The hair was greasy and clung to his scalp._

_It was also mostly naked._

“ _Oh Poppet,” It said, leaning in with a clawed hand to cup her cheek. “Do you still think of me. Lying there in Lothering. The darkspawn crawling over me. Biting me. Eating me.”_

“ _Shut up.”_

_It laughed, a rich sound that did not match up with the face._

“ _I could give him back to you, you know. All you need to do. Say yes, poppet.”_

“ _If this is your game, you're sucking horribly at it.” Ava said back with a completely deadpan look. “The last one at least used some maggots and empty eye sockets._

“ _You know you can't reject us forever.” Fingers danced over her lips. “But if you continue, then we'll let your dreams get worse. Would you like that poppet? Would you like to dream of those bad things again?”_

_She didn't say anything. Merely shutting her eyes as she tried to focus on something other then the taste of dead things on her lips or the smell of rot in her nose._

_She really hated demons._

 

 

She woke with a start to find Mal perched on her chest. The mabari was whining at her. For a moment, she was grateful that he was there.

Every time a nightmare had taken her, the hound was always the one to rouse her. He was Garrett's mabari but he had always been helpful to her. Like she was her second favourite person in the family.

She grumbled to herself as she shoved the dog. It hopped off her with ease, and looked up at her with a playful expression.

“Left behind again, eh?” She asked as she leaned over to rub behind it's ear.

It gave a yip in agreement, bounding away for a moment before returning with her staff.

“Another walk?” She asked with a groan before she sighed. “Alright, since Garrett left you here, let's go.”

The hound gave another happy bark before she got to her feet. She changed into a simple breeches and jerkin kind of outfit. Nothing spectacular but it was better then the heavy robes that all the other mages seemed to favour. Anyone who claimed those things were easier to do magic in was full of shit.

The dog barked as she put on her left boot.

“Yeesh, I'm coming! I'm not like you, I need boots for my feet.” She grumbled before putting the other one on and following it to the door.

The main room was empty save for her uncle who seemed most displeased about something.

“Uncle.” She said with a bob of her head.

“This came for your brother while he was gone.” He said, his nose wrinkling as he held out a package to her. “I am not his manservant, tell him to get his own things.”

She took the package and could smell the faint odour of elfroot. The sound of bottles shifting inside the package as she held it by her side made it clear what was in it. She recalled Garrett stopping at one of those little stalls to order more healing potions and salves for Anders and his clinic.

“Thanks Uncle.” She mumbled but he was already gone.

She sighed to herself before walking to the door. Gamlen didn't seem happy with any of them there but she could kind of understand why. Her mother had run off years ago to be with her father, leaving him to care for the ageing Lord and Lady Amell. She would have felt the same if she'd been abandoned to her mother's care by her brothers.

“If Mother is looking for me, tell her I went to deliver something to the Fereldan refugees.” It wasn't a complete lie. Anders did treat the Fereldan refugees after all.

She was out the door with the hound after she said it. Pausing once to get her bearings. There were no windows in the little hovel and the sunlight was always a shock when she stepped out of the dim light. Mal gave a small little bark and she looked down at the hound.

“We're going to go deliver these to Anders.”

The dog whined and she sighed.

“I know, you hate that part of the city but Anders needs these for the people that are hurt.”

The dog whined again before it gave a bark that she knew he was agreeing to go. The dog could be as stubborn as the rest of them. Refusing to do anything if it wasn't in his best interest when it didn't conflict with what Garrett ordered. He was pretty much the only person the hound listened to as it seemed he only took Ava's orders under advisement and ignored Carver altogether.

The two of them walked in relative comfort from Low Town and into the Undercity. The place always gave her a bad feeling but it was not like the blasted tree in the alienage. At least here, there was enough space that people weren't constantly crowding the streets. There were other problems down here. Thugs that took advantage of those unwary or foolish enough to cross their paths.

Luckily for her, people avoided a fully grown mabari and looked for easier marks.

Still, she hummed to herself as she walked. There were a few unfriendly stares but for the most part, she was left to herself. They never really bothered with her. She looked poor enough to fit in.

The clinic was only a short walk from the lift and there weren't many people lined up outside it today. The sudden thought that maybe Anders had gone off with Garrett today made her pause.

“Apply pressure here.”

Anders' voice was calm but urgent from within the clinic.

She pushed open a door to see him standing over a badly injured young man. Blood seemed to be bubbling up from around the fingers of one of the 'nurses' that were there to help him. They were just Ferelden refugees who wanted to help and knew a little of the healing arts.

Ava stared at it for a moment even as the woman's voice rose up in a high note, panic clearly there.

“There's so muuuch blood.”

“And there will be a lot more if you don't place pressure on the wound.” Anders' voice was strained.

Ava strode over, laying the package on the nearby table and resting her staff against it. She hip bumped the woman aside and put her own hands on the wound. While the injuries from battle were becoming familiar to her from the last year, she had more experience with the injuries sustained from hunting accidents or people being careless with farm tools.

“Here, I have this.” She said calmly, not looking at the wound or the blood.

“Ava...” Anders voice said in recognition before he simply nodded. “Apply pressure, I need to get the other side of the wound closed.”

She nodded, focusing on the young man's face. She could feel the torn flesh beneath her hand, the scent of blood high in the air, but she was determined not to look. Help but not look. She could do that.

She felt that strange disquiet whenever Anders used his magic. It rose like a wind and crept along her skin like it was blowing dust over her. He was powerful but she knew it wasn't just his power. It was also the power of the thing within him. She wondered what it was like to be what he was but now wasn't the time for questions.

She felt the man jerk beneath her hands and she looked down, feeling a little ill almost immediately.

_Andraste's ashes... that's too much blood._

Her gaze flicked up at Anders' face with concern but his focus was completely on his patient. A blue light shining from his hands as he worked it into the wound. His magic was unique, the mix of Warden and Circle mage coupled with the undercurrent from the spirit. She could tell when he was casting just like when Garrett was using his powers.

Slowly, she felt the blood flow begin to stop, and her gaze went back down to the wound that Anders was healing. She could see how it had been closed over by magic but it was more of just a bandage then compete heal. The man would have to be careful to not move or he'd tear it open. Her eyes flicked down to the other side of the wound beneath her hands. She was about to move so Anders could continue but then she heard his voice, a loud bark in her ear.

“Don't move, it still needs the pressure.”

His hands were over her's and she could feel his magic seeping through her fingers and into the body beneath her. He had moved so quickly that she hadn't even realized he'd moved to where he was now standing behind her. She didn't say anything else as he finished his healing of the man and finally let go of the top of her hands.

He staggered a little and leaned against her to catch his breath. He's heavy and smells like plants, too varied to really pick out anything but there was definitely elfroot and spindleweed. There is that faint smell of magic in the air almost like an electrical smell. It all mixed with the blood and smelled very much like the clinic.

Mal gave a small whine but otherwise remained where he was sitting between the table and chair.

“Uh... Anders... ser...” She said with a self conscious cough as she turned for a moment to give him a little more support without making it completely awkward. “You're kind of leaning on me.”

“Oh... sorry,” He said with a small blush creeping up along his cheeks. He straightened up but it was clear he was a little too tired to be standing.

Ava sighed as she slung his arm over her shoulder and led him to the nearby chair. There was not much protest in the mage as she set him down to rest. She could see the blood everywhere and instead focused on that. Turning to begin cleaning the man's skin as best as she could. Mal made a yipping noise before settling down on his paws to watch everything more carefully.

“Where are your fresh cloths?” She asked, glancing back at him for a brief moment to see where he waved as he didn't seem to be talking much.

She didn't speak as she went about cleaning things up. Anders didn't say a word either and a quick glance up proved that the mage was out like a light. She didn't bother waking him, and instead, cleaned up as much of the clinic as she could while he rested. Cleaning alternated with checking on him and his unconscious patient. The bloody rags were tossed into a small bucket and she was going to leave that to someone else to wash.

She grimaced as she looked at her hands and the front of her jerkin. The blood was not going to come out and her mother was going to lose her mind. She swore under her breath and started to leave, to begin the long trek back up to Low Town while looking like she murdered someone. She could just hear her mother, scolding her and worrying over things.

“Something wrong?” Anders' voice called from his chair.

She glanced over at him with surprise to see the sleepy eyes cracked open just a little and peering at her. He looked like he hadn't slept in days, and was no doubt drained after that exhaustive attempt at healing the injured man.

“Nothing to worry about,” She said with a smile. “I should be getting back home, I only came to drop off your potions.”

He turned to look at where she was motioning before glancing back at her. “You're covered in blood.”

“Yes, I am.” She said with a small chuckle. “Your nurse was a little bit useless, I was helping.”

“I realize that,” He said with a tired smile. “Thank you.”

Anders glanced around for a moment, looking for the nurse but she was no where to be found. The mild irritation was clear on his face but he said nothing about it.

“Any time, serah.”

“Anders.” He said as he shoved himself to his feet. “Just Anders is fine.”

“Alright, Just Anders.” She said.

A strange expression crossed over his features before he shook his head. “You're a lot like your brother, you know that?”

“I've been told.” She said with a laugh before glancing at his patient with a sober look. “He looked pretty rough...”

“Yeah, he took an arrow to the side. It missed all the important organs but then he decided to try and remove it himself.” Anders said with a grimace. “He wasn't far from here, luckily some helpful folks brought him in.”

“Yeech...” She muttered with a grimace. “Well, if you need any more help with patients, don't hesitate to ask.”

“Ava, wait.” He said before moving into his backroom and returning with one of those ugly robe things of his. “Here, put this on; I think you'd get stopped quite a bit on the way home if you walked out there covered in that much blood.”

“Uh... no thanks...” I said as I eyed the outfit. “I doubt people will ask when they see Mal.” I motioned to the dog who gave a sharp bark in agreement.

“Well... you should at least wash it off your arms and hands...”

“That... is an excellent idea.” She said with a grimace before looking for any source of water that was not completely blood red.

“This way,” He said as he motioned to her to follow behind him. “I have some clean water in the back room.”

She shrugged and followed. She had never been in his little section of the clinic but it wasn't like it was that important. He directed her to the water basin and fetched a clean towel before he left Ava there to clean herself up.

Alone in the back room, Ava could not resist the urge to look around. It was a relatively small room, perhaps even smaller then the bedroom at the hovel but there was at least a raised bed (which she eyed a little enviously) and some books on a shelf. A trunk for his clothing and a small desk. Nothing spectacular. She turned and focused on scrubbing the blood off her skin.

That would at least let her look some what normal on the walk home.

“Anders!” She froze at the sound of Garrett's voice. “Gonna need your help with going to the bone pits. Apparently something is terrorizing the workers there.”

“Now, Hawke?” Anders' voice sounded exhausted.

“What's the matter, Blondie?” Varric's voice followed, chiming in with his opinion. “You look like you had to wrangle three nugs before breakfast.”

“Had to deal with a pretty badly hurt patient.” Anders said with a sigh and Ava could almost imagine him pinching the bridge of his nose in annoyance. “I'm in no condition to go with you, Hawke.”

“C'mon Anders,” Garrett's voice was almost pleading. “I need someone with healing skills and you're the best healer I've got. You're the only healer I've got.”

“No, I'm not.” Anders responded calmly. “Your sister is quite capable of healing as well.”

Ava could just imagine Garrett's face. How many colours was he turning about now, she couldn't guess but she figured it was somewhere between four and six.

“That's out of the question.” Garrett said with a stern note in his voice.

“That's your choice,” Anders said with another sigh. “I sincerely cannot go with you, Hawke. I'm ready to pass out again. If your sister hadn't helped me sit earlier, I would be out on the floor.”

“Ava was here?” Garrett's voice had that note of anger that he got whenever her or Carver didn't do what he wanted.

“Err... yes?” Anders sounded almost a little surprised. “You don't think your mabari comes to visit me on it's own, do you?”

Ava flinched as she realized she'd left Mal out there when she came in to wash the blood off her. She had thought that she could make her way back home before him so she only had to be yelled at once by both him and Mother.

Mal made a yipping noise and she rubbed her face with her hand. He had been quiet up until that point and wondered what was going through the hound's mind.

“Mal... Ava, come out. Now.” Garrett's voice was stern as he ordered her.

She thought about hiding for a moment but she knew that wouldn't do. Garrett would get even more upset with her if she did that and he'd never let her leave the hovel on her own afterwards.

She took a deep breath and walked out with her head held as high as she could manage.

“Yes, Garrett?” She said as she glanced between him and his companions. Varric, Fenris and a woman she did not know. She did notice that the woman was wearing very little clothing compared to everyone else she had met.

“What are you doing here?” His voice was stern, yet calm, but the eyes were blazing with anger.

“I came to deliver potions to Anders so you wouldn't have to do it later.” She said as she motioned to the package on the table.

“Why are you covered in blood?” The next question was voiced by the woman. Her accent was not a familiar one but I had heard it before by the people wandering through. Rivani, she thought they were called.

“His assistant wasn't applying enough pressure to the wound on the man's side, so I stepped in.” She gave a shrug of her shoulders. “I used to help with the injuries back home, remember?”

“I remember.” Garrett was pinching the bridge of his nose.

“Gotta admit, Hawke,” Varric spoke, his voice very honeyed. “Your sister would be better then having no healer at all.”

“We could rely on potions,” Garrett said with a grimace.

“Potions against whatever is frightening the miners?” Varric said the question.

“It could be nothing, Varric.”

“When is it ever nothing, Hawke?” Fenris spoke, his voice was emotionless but said with a clarity as if that was obvious.

“Think of it this way, Hawke. If she's with us, you don't have to worry about her getting mugged on the way back to Low Town.”

She cast Varric a glance but he only winked where Garrett couldn't see him.

“Alright, alright.” Garrett said before glancing over at Ava. “You remembered your staff this time?”

“Yep.” Ava said with a delighted little smile as she went to pick it up. “And the dagger that Varric gave me, just in case.”

There was a snort from the woman before she smiled up at Garrett.

“I think I'll sit this one out.,” The woman said before she turned on her heel and began walking out the door. “When you need me, you'll know where to find me.”

“Alright, see you later, Isabela.” Garrett said before he motioned for them to all follow him.

Garrett was several steps ahead of them when she whispered over towards Varric. “I owe you.”

“I know.” Varric said with a grin.

 

It took some walking to get to the Bone Pit and most of it was done in silence. Garrett seemed particularly steamed that she was with them and was taking it out on every loose bit of grass that got in his way.

All three of his companions watched him as he kicked the dirt or swore at something. Finally, they got to the place and the silence was broken by Fenris speaking up as they looked over the grey landscape of the pit.

“This ground is cursed. Only wretched or ignorant souls would linger here.”

“I wonder which we count as.” Ava said with a small shake of her head, wondering if the elf ever thought of anything that wasn't negative. He almost always seemed to have a scowl on his face.

“Some of us are the latter, while others...” He said with a small glare at her.

Ava blinked in surprised, feeling the hostility almost immediately. She quirked an eyebrow at him as he it was clear he was indicating that she was one of the wretched souls.

“Hey, easy, Broody,” Varric cautioned. “Pretty sure she could blast you off that edge without a second thought.”

“Varric!” Ava said, her voice sounding shocked and almost insulted. “I would never do that. It would take forever for the workers to clean him off the rocks.”

“Watch yourself, Mage.” Fenris said before he stomped off to catch up to Garrett.

Ava glanced over at Varric who looked like he was trying to stifle a laugh.

“What's his problem?” Ava asked, looking at Varric with some confusion.

“Your brother didn't tell you?” Varric asked before continuing when Ava shook her head. “Fenris has a thing about mages. He used to be a slave under a mage in Tevinter; it's apparently soured his opinion of all of them.”

“Oh... shite...” Ava blushed a little. She suddenly felt a little terrible about her poorly timed joke. “Maybe I shouldn't have made the rocks comment.”

“Nah, not your problem Kid.” He said with a shake of his head before leading her on towards where the other two were walking. “Besides, he'll come around and you'll eventually get to see his sunny disposition.”

“What, he'll smile and dance about?” Ava said with a sigh, realizing she may have made an enemy of the elf with her poor choice of words.

“More like he'll just grunt and brood then ignore you for the most part.”

Ava couldn't help but laugh at the thought. She was definitely thinking she could be friends with this strange dwarf.

“There we go, that's a nice smile to light up this little hell hole.” Varric said with a grin. “Hawke should really take you along more often.”

She shrugged at Varric with a half smile. Hawke had his reasons and she didn't want to get into them. Up ahead, she could see Fenris and Garrett walking closer together but she couldn't tell if they were saying anything to each other.

“There's a foul wind coming from that cavern. I smell death.” Fenris said as they approached the entrance to the mines.

Ava sighed and glanced over at Varric who gave a quick shake of his head. She didn't need him telling her not to say anything but she shrugged anyway. She was not going to antagonize the elf, not when she felt like she should apologize to him. She just didn't want to do it in front of Garrett.

She took a lungful of fresh air and followed them into the cave.

 

  
Several hours, and even more dead drakes then she could count, later and they were finally nearing the end of the bone pit. Ava was suddenly wishing she had not come along but it was a little late to complain about it. It had been interesting, however, to see the drakes. Those things were peculiar.

At first, she had wanted to study them but the moment they decided that the party was better off being lunch; she had reacted just as quickly as the others. It was messy but they came through alright.

She could not help but be impressed with the fighting skills of Varric and Fenris. She knew that Garrett was powerful as a mage but she hadn't thought of the dwarf's skills the other time in the alienage. Her mind had been too wrapped up in the vision of the tree. He was downright deadly with that crossbow. Fenris, on the other hand, was downright terrifying. She had thought it had been simple strength that had let him kill that man so quickly in the alienage but now it was more then that.

During the heat of battle, she never paid attention to it but after the first battle, she had noticed it.

Lyrium.

It was like a taste in her mouth, as strong as Garrett's magic or her own, and it radiated from the elf. She looked over at him and could see the marks on his skin lit up and glowing. She found herself staring, mesmerized by it.

He looked up from where he had been wiping drake blood off his swords and their eyes locked for a brief moment. In that moment, she could see a flicker of pain reflected there but it was quickly pushed aside as he began to glare. She looked away quickly and focused on the minor spell of healing on Varric.

They continued moving after that short break. Garrett leading the way. They were silent for the most part, Varric commenting every now and again that the mine seemed to go on forever. The air seemed to get lighter as they walked and an opening to the outside could be seen up ahead. The faint breeze from fresh air hit them and they all moved forward quickly, heading for that way out.

Stepping out into the slightly fresher (it still reeked of dead animals and people) air, they came face to face with a dragon.

“Shit!” Garrett's voice was loud as he dodged to the side, Varric following behind him.

“Fenhedis!” Fenris swore and Ava felt herself getting yanked to the side. She was thrust up against the wall, the elf pinning her there for a moment.

A gout of flame poured where the four of them had been standing. Even with Fenris between her and it, she could feel the heat of the flame. Her eyes had gone wide as her face turned to look at the dragon.

It was not as large as the ones in story books or pictures but it was easily twice the size of the drakes they had killed. A pair of wings bit into the air, yet it remained standing on the ledge as it breathed fire at them.

It stopped it's flame to take in a breath and Fenris was dancing away from her with his sword swinging into the air. The lyrium markings lighting up as he moved to attack. Varric had already pulled out his crossbow and was firing bolts into the creature.

The air was lit up with a crackle as she felt Garrett's magic rushing. This fight was different then the one against the drakes. This one was far more serious and deadly.

She watched them, using her own magic to assist in what ways she could. She saw Fenris stumble, his face fatigued, and her magic reached out to try and rejuvenate him. She reached into the pouch at her side, a lyrium potion in her hand which she nimbly threw to Garrett when he looked in her direction. He easily caught the bottle with a nod towards her.

It was that moment of distraction that was enough. The dragon's tail came swinging and hit Garrett right in the stomach. Her brother folded before he was thrown. It turned towards him but he had yet to get up. The dragon continued to turn, thrashing with it's head to knock Fenris to the ground as well.

“ _You know you could help.”_

Bethany's words came back to her and Ava was determined not to let Garrett down. Without a second thought, she moved to stand between her brother and the dragon. The magic was pulled towards her and she threw a fireball at it. The blast hit it in the side of face and it turned to look at her. The eyes glittered with anger and she could hear the hiss as it advanced in her direction but she could swear it was laughing at her. She side stepped away from where Garrett lay and the dragon followed. It's mouth opened wide as it prepared to let loose another blast of fire.

“Ava!” Varric cried out in warning.

She summoned her power to her again, the magic coursing over her skin. This time, she used it to form ice. The original goal was to fire the ice at the creature but when she threw her hands forward, Ava felt the cold leave her hands in a direct path. Ice rose up like spikes before striking the front of the dragon who roared in anger. It reared back, exposing it's belly and the others wasted no time.

Varric fired off two bolts in rapid succession. Ava heard them thud into the dragon's scales before she saw Fenris' sword arc up and into nearly the same place. The dragon's roar of anger turned to one of pain.

She was focused entirely on the dragon and did not hear Garrett's shout as he got to his feet. A few seconds later, she did feel the fireball that whizzed by her to strike into that already maimed belly. The dragon's roar cut off as it fell to the ledge and was still. It's blood began to seep across the stones.

 

  
_He was leading them to the drakes. His smile was cruel._

_They were begging. Pleading._

_Still, he led them._

_He watched as fed their children to the drakes._

_He watched as he fed them to the drakes._

_They begged until the end._

 

“You alright?” Garrett asked behind her as he put a hand on her shoulder.

“Just... a little tired...” She said as she rubbed at her eyes. “Think I threw too much into that spell.”

“That was pretty impressive.” Garrett said like he was admitting to something terrible. “Though, next time I'd prefer if you didn't challenge dragons.”

“Definitely not on my to do list, any time soon.” She said with a grin.

She turned to go find her staff as she had apparently dropped it during the fight. She glanced back and saw that Garrett had already started back through the cave.

“Fenris... wait!” She called back before the elf got too far.

“What?” He asked, slowing his steps just a little.

“Why... uh... back there, thank you for pulling me out of the dragon's flames.”

“It was nothing.” He said with a dismissive wave of his hand. “Hawke instructed that I was to protect you during battle.”

“What?!” She stared at him, remembering when he and Garrett had been wandering ahead of her and Varric earlier. She had thought they were being their quiet broody selves but apparently, they were up to no good.

“You are frailer then I or Hawke,” He said as if the explanation was obvious. “Even Varric is tougher then you. I was the best choice to ensure that you were unharmed.”

“I do **not** need your protection.” She glared. Her voice was little more then a huff, angry at the fact that Garrett had previously decided she was not strong enough to be depended on like the rest. “As evidenced by the fact that I was capable of holding my own. Regardless of what Garrett says.”

“Then you would have been roasted by the dragon.” Fenris said simply and walked off.

 

 

When they got back to Kirkwall, they all went their separate ways but Ava was still seething. The moment they got to the house, and found it to be empty once more, Ava couldn't help but start at her brother.

“How dare you!”

“What?” Garrett said as he glanced at her in surprise.

“Telling your companion that I needed protection!” She trembled with her righteous anger. “He could have gotten killed while looking out for me.”

Garrett stared at her for several minutes of silence before he burst out into laughter. “You nutter. You're the healer.”

“So?”

“Ava, I told him to watch out for you because if you go down, we were all screwed. You had the potions, bandages and healing magic.” He managed between laughs. “Come on... you're a Hawke, I have more faith in your abilities then that.”

She instantly deflated at that point. “You... have faith in me?”

“I do.” He said as the laughing began to subside. “Especially after we fought the first group of drakes.”

She huffed a little before looking apologetic.

“Really, if I thought you were going to be a liability, I would have dropped you off here and ordered Mal to sit on you until mother came.” He said with a shake of his head.

“Then why don't you take me with you more often? Both you and Carver keep wanting to leave me behind.”

“Because Mother would have my hide if something happened to you,” Garrett said with a small shrug. “She's also demanded that we don't encourage you wanting to go out.”

“Well....” Ava said with a small huff. “Sorry... I really shouldn't have jumped at you like that.”

“It's alright.” Garrett said with a shake of his head and a laugh. “Go get changed and washed up before mother gets home. Pretty sure she'd lock you up if she saw all that blood and drake bits on you.”

“True.” Ava said with a grimace. “Actually... I think I'm gonna take a quick nap after I get changed.”

Garrett shrugged before he went into the other little room to get changed.

Ava waited until he came back out before she went in to get changed and clean herself up. She sighed to herself as she settled down in the bed afterwards. Her eyes closing as she drifted off.

For the first time in months, if not years, she drifted off to a peaceful sleep. A sleep that was devoid of blood, whispers and demons.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Again, Ava is using magic from Origins/Awakening. Cone of Cold but flashier.


	5. Birthright

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carver suggests they obtain the will and off they go, dragging a reluctant Fenris with them because who better to kill slavers then an ex slaver?

Ava listened as her brothers talked, knowing full well what they were planning. They seemed to hash it out between themselves and she couldn't really find fault with their idea. She had thought about the will herself but she'd never had the courage to bring it up to Garrett, knowing full well that he'd shoot any idea down on principle of his agreement with their mother.

They were almost to the door when she stopped them.

“I'm coming too.”

Garrett sighed and Carver merely shrugged before the three fell in step and went out the door. There was a bit of confusion coloring both Ava and Carver's face as Hawke led them first to High Town. There was a way to the Undercity from there but Low Town had one of the more direct routes.

“Where are we going?” Carver asked.

“We're killing Slavers,” Garrett responded. “Fenris will help it go quickly.”

Carver groaned but Ava didn't say a word. They all knew that Fenris had been a former slave and his hatred of slavers made him a little swing happy with the sword when they fought them in battle. It was like a trigger word for him. They utter the word slavers, and he'd willingly run into any crowd to start mowing people down like wheat.

Of course, the word mage almost always garnered the same response.

Ava tightened her hands on her staff but she didn't question her brother while they walked. She didn't say a word as her and Carver waited by the door to the mansion as Garrett wandered in to get the elf.

They returned quickly and she felt her heart beat quicken a little at the sight of him. He looked as he always did, that dangerous glare but the eyes were far more focused today. Garrett must have told him who they were going to fight as he looked downright excited when he stepped out.

The look faded for a moment as he saw her standing there. His lip even curling a little in disgust. His face was quickly schooled back into the stern glare of his and his gaze returned to following Hawke.

The trip to the basement entrance was relatively quiet and she was mostly thankful for that. Now if only he wasn't staring angrily at one of them, it would be that much better.

They were attacked almost as soon as they got into the building and Fenris reacted precisely like Garrett had said he would. Swinging his sword and rushing into battle, taking down all the ones who opposed him. He was covered in blood by the time they were done the first fight and Garrett merely shrugged at Carver's questioning look.

They fought their way through the building before finding their way to a small section of connecting rooms. There was once more a fight on their hands but she kept at the back of things. She focused on healing magic even if she felt the itch to just let go and show these men what the Hawkes were capable of. But these were men, and she couldn't quite bring herself to rain fire and ice on them.

She was so focused on healing that she did not notice the man swinging for her until the last second. Ava went to side step but that blow was going to hit and it was going to bite deep but then Fenris was there.

They had all been told what he was capable of but it was almost awe inspiring to suddenly just see him dash into a place that had been empty just a second before. It was almost like teleporting but she could feel the lyrium flaring to life as he moved. He took the blade against his armour but his own was already eliminating the threat, a swing of his two handed blade just near her face took care of the man who had thought to kill her.

His green eyes were fixed on her's and her breath caught for a moment.

“Mage.” He snarled at her, his voice low enough that only she heard him. “Pay attention next time.”

Ava saw the spurt of red when he turned, and she knew he was hurt but there was no indication other then that. Not even a grunt of pain to acknowledge it. She went to cast healing on him when he whirled again.

His foot came down on a part of the floor that suddenly sank with a 'clinking' noise. Confusion reigned but then he was tackling her to the ground as a wall came slamming down where she had been standing.

Fenris was swearing under his breath as they both got to heir feet.

“Garrett?!” She called through the wall and she could dimly hear the response.

“Stay put, we'll look for the switch to undo this.” Garrett's voice came back.

Ava looked around the room they were in and found there was no exit. There were some crates to sit on but there was nothing else at all.

“You're hurt.”

“It's nothing.” Fenris said gruffly.

“Let me take a look at it.” Ava said as she stepped forward.

“No.” He hissed through his teeth at her before turning away so she could not get a look at the wound.

Ava stopped, and thought about how to deal with him before she flat out decided to go the direct route. A stern and determined look crossing over her features as she put her hands on her hips and glared at him.

“Either you let me look at it now or you wait, it'll get infected and you'll have to go see Anders.”

There was a pause and Ava rolled her eyes. He was being difficult on purpose, she was sure of it. She had been on her best behaviour but he seemed to think of her as less then the worms found in a garden.

“Very well.” He sat his sword against a crate before he sat on the top of it.

“Good, now hold still.” Ava said as she undid the buckles on that side of his armour to get a better look at the injury.

“No magic.”

“Very well.” She said in mild annoyance before she set to work on the wound.

It was a clean cut but it was bleeding, the leather under his armour had helped keep the point from biting too deeply when the blade had slipped between the pieces of his armour. She idly hummed to herself as she began to clean the wound. Pouring some water over it to wash the blood away from it. She suddenly wished she had some hard liquor to sanitize the wound but she was making do with what they had. She rummaged in her little bag for the small bandages that she had and began to stem the bleeding.

“Fenris?” She asked without looking up from the wound.

“What is it?”

“Sorry about what I said in the Bone Pits, about knocking you off the ledge.”

There was a brief moment of silence before he grunted at her. She assumed that was the closest she was going to get to him acknowledging her apology. At least it was out there, not that it really made her feel any better.

“This may sting a little.” She said as she pulled out a needle and thread.

“What... is that for?” Fenris asked, sounding more then a little put off by the appearance of the sharp bit of metal.

“You said no magic,” Ava said with a grimace. “So I'm going to need to sew the wound shut.”

Fenris went silent again.

She sighed and went to press the needle to his skin when she felt his hand grab her wrist. It was almost painfully tight but then he let go.

“This will take too long.” His voice sounded annoyed. “Use your magic.”

“As you wish.” She said before setting the needle and thread back into her bag.

It was an easy thing to place her hands over the wound. She closed her eyes for a moment and the magic came as easily as it always did. His skin felt hot beneath her fingers as the magic worked. The wound closed slowly before her eyes and it was only that thin flesh left there, the barest hint that he had been wounded.

There was a disconnect for a moment as her vision swam.

  
  


_Other hands on his skin. They're rough. Holding him down._

_It's like fire. Fire on his skin. Like they're carving into his skin and pouring fire into him._

_It hurts. Mother, it hurts._

  
  


“Are you alright?”

His voice startled her from the image and she realized she still had her hands planted on his skin. She coughed with embarrassment as she pulled away and stood to her feet.

“I'm fine, was just making sure that the wound healed properly.”

“It has.” He said as he began to buckle his armour back up. There was a pause before he added. “Thank you.”

“Don't mention it.” She responded before turning away from him. “Just remember, it's still an injury. You'll need rest.”

“I am well aware of that.” His voice had once more taken on that peevish tone.

There was silence in the little room. It hang heavy over the two of them. Ava didn't like it but she had no idea what to say to this elf. She had known he was dangerous from the moment he had walked into the alienage but she hadn't expected him to be so damn disagreeable.

Not that it was fair of her to react like that to him. She knew the life he'd had. A slave on the run from his former master who wants his skin. That was definitely not the kind of life to make someone friendly, especially not when he had such a bad opinion of mages.

“Ava...” He finally broke the silence. “I am also sorry for what I said at the Bone Pit.”

Her head whipped back at him. He was apologizing to her. She was certain that it must have been snowing in the Deep Roads for that to happen. Still, she was not going to look a gift horse in the mouth and smiled at him.

“Don't worry about it.” Ava tried not to sound pleased that he had been willing to apologize to her. That small quirking of his eyebrow made it clear that she failed and he noticed.

_Get a grip, Ava! He's a dangerous murder machine._

Even knowing that he hated mages and could easily rip her heart out, she could not suppress the enjoyment that he had apologized to her. It was even better that he wasn't looking at her with hate like he normally was.

“I wonder what is taking Hawke so long.” Fenris griped, pushing aside the apologies like they never happened. His face had once more taken on that same stern look he almost always wore.

“Probably arguing with Carver on how to best open the wall.” Ava said as she glanced towards the wall that her and Fenris had come through. “Whether to use magic or to bash it down.”

The grimace on Fenris' face was clear and Ava looked away a little sheepishly.

“Maybe they'll find the switch. I knew we should have taken the dwarf.” Fenris said in mild annoyance.

“So he could yell out 'theirs a trap' prior to Carver or you blundering into it?” She muttered under her breath, not really expecting an answer.

“I do not blunder into traps.” Fenris bristled, the eyebrows furrowing together as he gave her a slightly incensed look.

“You do tend to have tunnel vision when it comes to battle.” Ava managed, trying not to look too embarrassed that he had heard her. The blush creeping up her cheeks to her ears made it obvious that she was even if her voice was calm. “Especially when it's against slavers.”

“It is easier to kill the foe if we are all focused on it.” Fenris said with a shrug before eyeing her with a strange expression. It was almost a mix between curiosity and caution. “You are not like other mages.”

“Oh?” Ava asked.

_This should be interesting._

“Yes.” Fenris said, his head tilting a little as he spoke. “You are not cocky or as flashy.”

“Well confidence comes with power and I'm not exactly a powerhouse.”

“That is where you are wrong.” Fenris' face took on an almost angry look. “You hold yourself back in combat. Your attack on the dragon was most effective.”

“I don't...” Ava started but then she did remember how she had just let go with the ice when she thought Garrett was in danger. “Okay, maybe I do a little.”

“That will get you, or one of your brothers killed one of these days.”

“Garrett is stronger then I am and Carver is more then capable of taking care of himself with his sword.” She really did not like what Fenris was implying.

“That may be so.” Fenris said as he hopped down off the crate. “But holding yourself back in battle is not going to win anything.”

She went silent for a moment, not meeting his eyes as he approached. She was staring at his feet and let herself be intrigued by the fact that he did not wear boots. It was better then to think of that gaze of his. The intensity of them drew her and she was suddenly worried that she would stare into them and get completely lost.

Fenris stopped just in front of her, his body turning as his attention was fixated on the wall that had dropped in on them. Her eyes followed the line of his leg up, noticing the way the leather of his breeches came together. Then over the things clasped to his belt. Further up along his side and along that armour. Her eyes went up a little higher and she found herself looking into those green eyes.

Her breath held and she looked away with mild embarressment that he had caught her looking him over. Neither of them said anything as the door slid upwards to reveal both Carver and Garrett standing there. Carver looked somewhere between excited and pissed off.

“Come on you two,” Garrett said with a roll of his shoulders. “We have the will.”

“Is it that bad?” Ava asked, stepping forward and ignoring Fenris.

“Wait and see, little sister.” Carver said.

“We'll just leave it at Gamlen has a lot of explaining to do.”

Ava quirked an eyebrow but followed after her brothers as they led the way to Low Town. She did not cast a second glance when Fenris stalked off towards his mansion.

The thoughts of that look he gave her made it difficult to walk as it hadn't been hostility in his eyes. That she could have handled. Maybe even anger. But no, it had been none of those things.

Maker help her, it had been _interest._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Went with a different layout for the area of the Birthright quest area for story purposes.


	6. Plans Disrupted by Plans

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris deals with things in the only way Fenris knows how. Brooding and booze. He plots, only to have Hawke through a monkey wrench in his ideas.

It had been several days since he helped the Hawkes get the will out of their family's ancestral home but he still could not shake off the thoughts of her.

Everything from her scent to the way her hands had felt on his skin when she healed him. It was all pictured firmly in his mind. Her magic had played out on his body and he almost longed to feel it again.

It had been different then the way Danarius had used his magic. Her magic felt natural and the way it cascaded on his skin felt completely _right._ Even with the lyrium marks on his skin, the pain had been minimal as she'd tended to his wound. That magic flowing from her finger tips had been the magic of a healer but it was more then that.

He sneered at himself as he thought of it. Thought of her and those tiny hands. He had watched her as she tended the wound so gently. He had seen every little twitch of her face, the way her eyes were focused solely on healing him.

Those beautiful lyrium coloured eyes.

His eyes closed as he savoured the look she'd worn when he apologized. That smile. The flush in her cheeks. Even that tilt of her face towards his.

His body had reacted to it then and even now, it was reacting to the mere memory of it.

He sucked in a lungful of air as he tried to dispel these thoughts of her. Her and the way her eyes had dragged so slowly up his body. He shivered as he thought about it. She had not looked at him in a sexual manner but there was admiration in her eyes. She had simply been looking at him, seeing him. It had almost been erotic.

His lips curled in mild disgust at himself. Pining after her like he was some love struck child. She was a mage but yet, she was so unlike any mage he had ever known. She seemed both wary and cautious when it came to her powers which was good behaviour in his mind. Then there was the genuine kindness, she even seemed to care about him and the others.

His thoughts flitted back to where he had tried to explain it to her and he cursed himself a little. He had been unable to really say what he thought, instead, he chastised her about holding back in battle. It had not been what he wanted to say but what could he really say to her?

He had nothing to offer her. He was a man on the run with the single goal of killing the man responsible for all the evils in his life and she deserved far more then that.

His mind flicked back to that dream and he felt a chill run up his spine.

It would be better in the long run not to get involved. If Danarius came here and he failed to kill him, he had no doubt that Danarius would take an interest in the blue eyed mage. She was powerful enough to be interesting to the magister and Fenris discovered he could not handle that.

The thought horrified him in ways he did not quite understand. The mere possibility that Danarius could find her made him question whether he should remain here. He was not so egotistical to think that his former master would not take advantage of the situation and lay claim to another potential source of power in his quest to recapture him.

He got up and began to pace the room. Thinking over everything. He had plenty of reasons to kill Danarius but this just became another one.

He would not act on his urges towards the mage but he would not allow her to come to harm. Especially not because of him.

Sometime during the night, he drank himself to sleep.

  
  


_They were sitting on the edge of the dock. Her feet hanging over and dangling above the water. He sat beside her, and they just sat there. Watching as the sun set._

_Her lyrium blue eyes looked almost sad and he reached forward to trace a finger against her cheek. Her skin is soft beneath that finger, softer then her fingers had been. She turned to look at him with a small smile._

“ _It won't last, you know.”_

“ _What won't?”_

“ _This.”_

_The dream fractured a little, the sky growing dark as if nightfall had come upon them suddenly. Fenris frowned at her. He went to say something but she cut him off._

“ _He'll come. He always does.” Ava's voice sounded sad and almost distant. “You're his slave, after all.”_

“ _Ava?” He hesitated as she got up to her feet._

“ _Why would you think I was interested in you? You're an elf slave.” Her face was twisted in disgust as she looked at him. “You hate mages. You hate me.”_

“ _No...” He felt a chill going up his spine. “I don't hate you, Ava.”_

_He licked his lips as he took a step towards her but it seemed like she was still out of reach. Just tantalizingly out of reach._

“ _It doesn't matter... he'll come. He'll find you.” She said.”He'll find me.”_

_He went to refuse what she was saying when she suddenly jerked forward. The sound of flesh being torn hitting him just a second before he felt his hand slide through her body. The smell of blood rising in the air as she looked up at him with those lyrium blue eyes. Blood flecking at the edge of her mouth as she spoke._

“ _You'll kill us.” Those eyes were growing distant, faint. “Just like you killed them. You'll kill us when he tells you to.”_

_Panic rose within him as he felt her life ebb away around his arm. He was shouting in his dream but his hand remained inside her and he could not pull himself free. When she had gone completely still, she fell into nothing but dust and ash in his arms. All around, he could see the dead bodies of Hawke and their other companions. All staring at him with accusing dead eyes. Eyes that blamed him for their deathes._

_He snarled in his dream even as the shadow of the man appeared before him. Danarius' face was lit up in that disgusting smirk as he looked at Fenris._

“ _Now, now, boy.” His voice had that same smug superiority that Danarius always had. “Time will come, and you'll come home.”_

_He turned to run at Danarius but he found himself tripping over the bodies all around him. Hawke. Carver. Aveline. The Abomination. All of them. His fault, their deathes would be his fault._

_The bodies were moving, clawing at him and dragging him down. He looked up at Danarius, rage and murder on his mind as he tried to get to him. But like it had been with Ava, the man always seemed to be just out of reach._

_The two things he wanted most that were just out of his reach._

  
  


He came awake with a start, the bottle still at his side. Swearing under his breath as he got up from his chair.

The fire had died down a little but he still could not shake the chill that had seemed to sit in his bones. The words that he'd heard in his dream echoing for a few moments before they faded. Still, he could not escape the dread that filled him.

He knew what Danarius would do. It would be the same thing as it had been before. His dream showed that clearly. The faces of all of Hawke's companions, and the Hawkes themselves, all staring at him. Damning him.

He took a deep breath before he nodded to himself. He would leave. There were other places, and others that he could hire. He would find Danarius and he would kill him.

He would remain only as long as the expedition that Hawke planned on going on. Hawke had requested his aid in that and he would not turn away the man who had become a friend. He made his decision, when they returned from the Deep Roads, he would leave.

As if the thoughts of the Deep Roads was some sort of key, he heard the sounds of footsteps on the stairs. He frowned as he turned towards the door.

“Fenris.”

The voice calling from below had him relaxing. He knew the man, one of the few that he almost counted as a friend.

“Yes, Hawke?”

“I'm going to be heading into the Deep Roads soon,” Hawke said as he moved to sit in one of the chairs. “And I've decided I'd like you to remain up here.”

Fenris was not surprised by that. He was ware that the Deep Roads expedition would be underway soon and he assumed that his friend would be taking the pirate with him. It did bring him some relief that he could leave sooner then he thought.

“Understood.” Fenris was about to continue but then realized there was an 'and' in Hawke's face.

“Mother also wishes for my siblings to remain topside.” Hawke continued, his face getting thoughtful as he spoke. “I won't be here to make sure something doesn't happen.”

“You wish for me to watch over them?” Fenris gave Hawke a curious look as he thought about that. Watching the two little Hawkes was not something he was keen on. It would derail his plans to leave if he had to wait and keep an eye on the two of them while Hawke was in the Deep Roads. He wished to say no but he knew he owed Hawke for his earlier actions.

His thoughts flew to the young mage, Hawke's sister. Those lyrium blue eyes that had sparked at him when he had chastised her, her soft hands on his skin...

He shook his head to clear his thoughts, not wanting to think of Ava while he was discussing what Hawke had planned. Especially not when his thoughts were starting to drift towards undressing her.

“If you would,” Hawke said with a half smile. “Templars have been coming around Low Town more often and I don't want to leave either of them. And I don't trust Anders or Merrill to keep them out of trouble.”

It was no secret that Carver had thought of joining the Templars. Something for fame and glory as he always claimed. It would not be a terrible fate for the boy but if the Templars did come around Hawke's mansion, there was the danger that the younger sister would be hauled off to the circle. There was trust between the two men which made Fenris ponder that this must be what it is like to have a true friend. He would not deny that little feeling of happiness knowing that Hawke trusted him more then the mages.

“Very well.” Had it been any one else, he would have refused.

“Good.” Hawke said with a nod before he got back up to his feet. “I'm leaving in the morning before either of them are up.”

“That is a good plan,” Fenris said with a nod. “I expect that they were both under the impression you were going to take them with you?”

“Yes, unfortunately,” Hawke's voice was a little strained. “Carver is too eager to prove himself and Ava... well I'd prefer that she didn't fight at all but she refuses to remain at the house with mother as it is.”

“Well, I had best get to the Hanged Man to set things up with Varric for our expedition.” Hawke said as he got to his feet.

“Good hunting.” Fenris said as he remained seated.

He watched Hawke go but his thoughts were turned towards the younger siblings. A small frown on his face as he thought of his charge to babysit the pair. It was only a few more months. That wouldn't hurt.

And he could see her again before he left.

  
  


Fenris had been up with the sun, and gone to the area of Low Town where Hawke lived with his family. He remained in the shadows as he watched the house for some time. He had seen Hawke leave with his hound at his side but it was several hours before there was stirring within the house. He could not make out the sounds within but then there was the loud banging of the door as it was thrown open by a rather irritated looking young woman.

She was still fixing on her jerkin as she ran towards the plaza and he followed behind her. The flash of bare midriff was stuck in his mind but he pushed that thought aside as she attempted to catch up to Hawke.

He watched as she got there and found the place to be empty. The expedition was long gone. Still, he kept to the shadows and did not step forward. The woman was clearly upset. Her shoulders hunching a little before she suddenly straightened. She turned and strode off with purpose. Once more, he followed her as she practically ran the entire way to the Under city.

He had realized where she was going the moment that she had stepped into the place and his ire raised a little. Anders' clinic was at the opposite end of the entrance she had taken but there was no other place that she was going. He followed and waited outside as she went in. His green eyes fixated on that door but he dared get no closer. It irked him that she would go here but he was not going to go in there. He waited outside, patient.

 

 


	7. Ava's Plan

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ava realizes she's been left behind so she goes to the one person she knows may have the maps to get her to the Deep Roads. Nobody is happy with that idea.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thought I had posted this up days ago. This is what happens when I get wound up in rewriting new chapters.

Ava had woken with the expectation that she was going to go on the trip with her brother. She had assumed he was going to take both her and Carver. Still, the sun was high in the air when she finally woke from her slumber. She felt groggy as she climbed to her feet and glanced around. Carver was still slumbering on his little mat but there was no Hawke.

She grabbed her things and ran out into the rest of the little hovel and saw her mother standing there but there was still no Hawke. She turned to look and found their mabari gone, her body whirling as she stared accusingly at her mother.

“How long ago?” She could not keep the anger out of her voice.

“Ava,” Her mother responded. “Hawke did as I asked, he left you and Carver here.”

“How long ago.” The anger was rising in her voice.

“Young lady,” Her mother cautioned.

Ava threw her hands up in the air in annoyance and ran from the house. Fixing her clothing as she went. She ignored the people around her as she raced to the plaza in High Town. Only to get there and find nothing. She stared at the empty space as she looked in every direction. Everyone was gone. They had left without her.

There was a pang as she felt like she was abandoned by her brother and she fell to her knees for a moment. Then a thought crossed her mind.

“Anders!” It was whispered with a grin before she got up to her feet and ran to the Undercity.

She knew that Anders had been the one to give her brother the map, just as she was well aware that he had asked not to be taken into the Deep Roads. He had been a warden and spent some time down there but did not want to fight the darkspawn any longer. If anyone knew the route they would have taken, it would have been him.

He was at his clinic like always. Treating those who needed it. She watched him work for a moment, that blue healing energy radiating over the boy who lay motionless on the bed. She forced herself to be patient and wait until Anders had done his work but the moment he stepped away, she was hurrying to his side.

“Anders!” She called, her cheeks still slightly flushed from the run there. “I need to talk to you, it's important.”

Anders looked at her from where he stood before nodding. He moved away from the family and their son, heading into the back area of his clinic. He enjoyed the company of the younger Hawke. She was a curious thing but there was a usual politeness about her when she asked him about the spirit residing within him. In turn, that spirit seemed to tolerate her company far more then that of the elven blood mage.

“Ava, what is it?” He asked, caution plain in his voice.

“Do you still have a copy of the deep roads map that you gave my brother?”

“Yes and your answer is no,” Anders said as he did not look at her. He guessed that she would show up looking for a copy of the maps sooner or later but he Hawke had been here before he left.

“No?”

“No.”

“You don't even know what I was going to ask,” Ava's face wrinkled up as she stared at him.

“I am not giving you a copy of the maps,” Anders said with a sigh. “Hawke figured you'd be the one to ask so he already left clear instructions about that.”

Ava stared at him before crossing her arms and giving him a glare. She knew that it was a fine line to push but she was going to try.

“That's not fair!” Ava was not pleased by this at all. “Either you give them or...”

“Or what?” Anders fixed her with a strange stare before shaking his head. Justice was not bothered by her little threat and it was the man that regarded her. “No, now if you'll excuse me, I have patients to tend to.”

His voice was a little sad but he waited no time to move away from her to begin treating someone else who had come in. Ava could feel herself trembling with rage but she did not press the issue. She waited until he was distracted and quickly stole into his private chambers. She rummaged quickly through his things before finding what she wanted. She was not as good at this kind of thing as Isabella but she knew he would be too preoccupied with taking care of the people in the clinic. She slid the maps inside her jerkin and moved to the doorway. She watched, and waited until he was turned to someone else before she darted through the clinic and out into the Undercity.

She had managed to make it down the stairs when she felt herself grabbed by the arm and whirled. She gave a 'umph' of surprise as her back was forced against the wall. Even more surprising was that it was not Anders who had come to stop her but Fenris. The markings on his skin glowed as he positioned himself in front of her. Her cheeks flushed pink as she found himself staring at his chest. She had never really been this close to the elf before. Once or twice to try and offer a clumsy healing spell which usually got an angry growl for her efforts,. There had been the once when she had healed his side but he had never pinned her to the wall quite like this before.

“And what do you think you're doing?” His voice was a low growl.

She tore her gaze from his chest to look up at his face. There was anger there as he glared at her so she lifted her chin in defiance and met that gaze with a confidence she didn't quite feel. She tried not to stare into those vivid green eyes as he held her against the wall.

“It is not important,” She said, keeping her tone level. “I was merely visiting Anders.”

“More like stealing from him.”

“You wound me, serah.” She wanted to cover her chest with her arms, to try and shield the maps where they were safely tucked away but she dared not to call attention to where they were. She was painfully aware that they were there, like a pressure against her chest.

“Give them to me.” Fenris held his hand out to her.

“Give what?”

It appeared that he was in no mood to play that little game as he grabbed her shoulder roughly and pushed her more up against the wall. The move was so quick that it knocked the wind out of her. His other hand came quickly enough to pull the maps from within her jerkin. She managed to snap her hand onto his wrist before he pulled too far away.

“Please, don't...” She pleaded with him. “Fenris, don't take the maps.”

He paused for a moment, a startled look crossing his features like a strike of lightening before that steely look was once more there. She could feel his body tensing up but she did not let go. She wanted the maps and knew that if Fenris got them then she would never be able to make her way into the Deep Roads where her brother's expedition was.

She did not let go but she could not look into his features at all.

“Your brother does not wish for you to follow him into the Deep Roads.” Fenris said, the anger fleeing his voice and replaced by his usual calm growled tone.

“But I can help him.”

“How?” Fenris said as he eyed her. “By rushing off by yourself after him and getting yourself killed?”

“Well...” She closed her eyes and felt that old sadness trickle back. From that moment when she watched Bethany die at the hands of darkspawn, she was terrified that their family would only get smaller. “I...”

He stared in shock at her as she started to cry. A look of uncertainty passing quickly afterwards before he coughed and gently stroked her hair with his other hand.

“Hawke will return.” He said with confidence. “He merely wishes that you are here when he returns.”

She glanced up at the elf before nodding. She let go of his hand then and pulled her hands close to herself. It still did not help the hurt of being left behind or the memories of the darkspawn in Lothering but she clung to that confidence in his voice. It was easier to believe if there was someone else to believe in it with her.

“Now. You should return to your home, your mother and brother are still there.” Fenris said as he took a respectful step back.

She nodded again but did not speak, turning to run the way back to her home. Unaware that two sets of eyes were watching her with mixed expressions.

  
  


 


	8. The Watch

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fenris watches Ava cause Hawke told him to, or at least that's what he's telling himself anyway.

He knew what she had done the moment she had come out. There was no mistaking that bulge at the front of her shirt. He had been surprised and a little angry at her presumption to find her own way to the Deep Roads. He told himself it was not because he was overly concerned about her well being but because he was the one charged with her protection and he would not fail in that. He did not want to admit to the bit of terror that rose up at the thought of her venturing into the Deep Roads alone.

She had acted defiant when he called her on her theft and everything had been going as he expected until the moment when she grabbed his wrist. Her hand was small and fine boned but he could feel the strength there as she pleaded with him. He tensed and expected her to call magic to aid her but there was nothing. It was a surprise to him and he found himself staring at her for a moment. She truly was unlike any mage he had met, even Garrett was more willing to use his magic then Ava was.

He tried to focus on her voice instead of the touch of her skin on his. His wits had left him for a moment then but somehow, he managed to keep his thoughts on the task at hand. And then she started to cry and he was left trying to figure out how to comfort the woman. Part of him was hissing that she was not only a mage but she was a companion and Hawke's little sister. Somehow, the thought stilled him and he managed to stroke her hair in what he hoped was a comforting gesture.

She was a mage but there was something gut wrenching about seeing her cry like that. It left an ache in him that he didn't have the words for.

He was thankful when she agreed to what he suggested. He merely stood there as he watched her go, his eyes following as urges filled his belly. He could not deny he felt an attraction for her but he had made the decision, he was going to leave when Hawke returned. He pushed those thoughts from his mind as he turned to find Anders standing at the doorway of the clinic. The mage wasn't looking at him, having watched Ava go as well.

Fenris could not keep the glare from forming on his features as he saw that look in Anders' eyes. It was a look he understood all too well given that he had been giving her the exact same look just moments before. Instead, he strode forward and thrust the maps into the man's chest.

“Do not let her get these again,” He barked it out, focusing on the anger at this mage instead of any other feelings.

Anders glared at him for a moment before he grabbed the maps. “You know I didn't give them to her.”

“Keep them under better security then,” Fenris snapped before he turned to follow after the young woman. Any response from the abomination was ignored as he returned to the task that Hawke had asked of him.

  
  


It had been several weeks since Hawke had gone into the Deep Roads and he was finding his task to becoming more trouble then it was worth. He stopped following Carver when he left the house as the young man always seemed to go to the same places. Ava did not leave the house as much, travelling out with her mother to the market but never going far.

Like clockwork, he learned their habits. And today was one of the days they all busied themselves with their little hobbies. He took today for himself. Relaxing in his borrowed mansion as he sipped on the wine he had pilfered from the basement.

He leaned back in his chair and stared at the ceiling even as thoughts came unbidden to his mind. There was the usual thoughts of revenge against Danarius. Of the rush that he knew he'd feel the moment that man was dead. He relished the thought that he would one day have that man's heart in his hands. Then there was her. He had spent most of his time watching her. The way she smiled at her mother and how she carefully picked things from the food stalls in the market and turned them over in her hands.

How he wanted to feel those hands on his body.

“Fenhedis!” He swore under his breath at himself as he rubbed his hand over his face. He did not want to think about her. Revenge against Danarius was fine but not the thoughts of her. Especially not when they had begun to lead to more of her writhing beneath him. That feeling rose in him, a knot of excitement and desire settling into him as his imagination began to remove pieces of clothing.

“Fenris?”

He froze and cast a glance at the door. He would have laughed bitterly then as it seems the Maker has a sense of humour for he could hear her footsteps on the stairs. “I am here.” He answered after taking a few deep breathes to calm himself.

She came into the room proper and the fire cast shadows over her face and he found himself staring for a moment. Her pale cheeks were flushed and he guessed she had jogged here from Low Town. Those lyrium blue eyes were just as vibrant and lively as the first time he had seen them.

“I... I have a favour to ask.”

“And that is?” He asked as he got out of his chair.

“I want you to teach me how to use a sword.”

He stared flatly at her. That was a surprise, given that her older brother was quite capable with a sword. For a farmer anyway.

“Why?” He found himself asking as he stared at her a little longer.

“Well... I was thinking...” Her nervousness irritated him a little and he just wanted her to get to whatever reasoning had made her think of this. “That if I learned how to use a sword then I don't have to rely on magic as much. Or at all.”

That was a bit surprising and he stared at her. He could not think of a reason as to why she would not want to use her magic as that seemed to be all mages ever wanted to do. Use their powers to benefit themselves. Of course, there were those like her brother, who used his powers for the betterment of all but he still had his doubts that she would be like Hawke even if she did only use her magic when she had to.

“And before you ask, Carver told me no,” She said without looking at him.

He was not bothered by being the second choice but he could not think of why she would even consider him at all. He made no effort to hide his distaste of mages even if he was having trouble remembering that she was a mage on most nights. “What of Aveline?”

“She's still in the Deep Roads with Hawke and I know she'd tell me the same thing.” There was a frown on her face as she spoke. “They all treat me like I'm made of glass. Do you know that Hawke even stopped taking me on missions?”

“I was not aware of that, no,” He said with a shake of his head as he regarded her. He had noticed her recent absences when he had gone with Hawke but he had thought nothing of it. He had been glad that she was no longer put into danger but he was not going to bring up that to Hawke. Not when he was going to be leaving soon.

“I don't want to have to depend on the others to protect myself, and using a sword would make it hard for someone to realize I'm a mage,” She said and that confidence blazed in those eyes as she looked at him. “Please. Teach me to use a sword. “

He had several conflicting emotions at once as he thought it over. On one hand, it was teaching a mage how to hide themselves and on the other, he would be able to keep a closer eye on her if she was here training with him. That would make things easier on him at least until Hawke returned and he could leave.

“Very well,” He said with a nod before he leaned on the edge of the fireplace. “But do not expect me to be gentle on you.”

Her face lit up in a radiant smile and with that one look from her, he felt himself come undone. He had seen her smiles before. There were ones that she had for Hawke and Carver that were full of adoration bordering on hero worship. Then there were the polite smiles for Sebastian and Anders. The amused ones for the jokes from the rest. But the smile she had now was one he had never seen. It was a smile that was for him, full of happiness and light. That knot at the pit of his stomach drew tighter.

“I won't complain,” She said with a nod, that smile never dying. “When do we start?”

“Tomorrow,” He managed. “I will fetch you early in the morning.”

“Alright, tomorrow it is.” She said with another nod before she turned and left the room. Her hand waving over her shoulder at him. “See you tomorrow, Fenris.”

He was left standing there as he tried to sort things out in his head. He wondered what had possessed him to agree but then his thoughts went back to that smile. Fenris took a deep breath to steady himself before he moved to sink back into his chair. He continued to think over everything, brooding about it all. He had agreed to train her even though he knew he was going to leave. What was the harm in lying to her for now?

When sleep finally claimed him, it was not a nightmare that claimed him for once but dreams of her radiant smile.

 


	9. Support

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Carver convinces Ava to speak with Merrill about her dreams.

_They were all fighting._

_Despair clung to them._

It _was gone. No more could they hear it's song._

_They called it something. She could almost hear the name they gave it._

_She shuddered as she stepped over a body. She didn't want to look at it, she wanted to focus instead on what was so important for her to be here._

_She turned and felt one of the little things run through her._

_It turned to look at her before it ran away._

_They were all running._

_The people were cheering._

_Why were they cheering? The sky was still the wrong colour, there were so many dead things on the ground and things were still burning._

_The cheering became a song. She could hear it, all the way to her very core._

_She followed the song, stepping past the dead bodies. She passed the fallen buildings. She passed Lothering. She passed into the forest._

_Down, she followed the song. It led her deep into the earth._

_The Deep Roads. That's what these tunnels were. They were the Deep Roads. Once belonging to the Dwarves but now home only to the Dark Spawn._

_They were scattered down here. The little things fleeing about as they fought to avoid... to avoid something._

_They were trying to say something to her. It was something important. She ached to know what it was they were going to say to her._

_One of them reached over to grab her shoulder._

  
  


“Ava!”

She came awake with a start to find Carver holding onto her shoulder. A look of concern on her brother's face.

“Oh... “ She blinked, realizing there were tears on her face.

“You're having the dreams again, aren't you?” He asked as he sat back onto his knees.

Ava gave a small nod as she tried to catch her breath. She hadn't even realized how much the dream had been unsettling her.

“Why didn't you say something?” Carver chastised.

“What's the point? They don't mean anything.” Ava said with a grimace as she sat up and took another deep breath.

“You dreamed about Lothering being swarmed by Dark Spawn.” Carver said it simply as he moved to sit back on his own little bed mat.

Ava froze for a moment as she thought back to that dream she'd had months before Lothering had been lost. She had thought it was just another nightmare. A demon coming to try and tempt her with 'saving' the village. She had mentioned it in passing to Bethany but she had reassured her that it was simply that. Just something preying on Ava's fears about something happening in Lothering.

“That was a private conversation.” She scoffed.

“You two were loud.” He repeated, not even looking remotely ashamed that he'd been eavesdropping on a conversation between his sisters. “Look. Not gonna judge, just... talk to me, alright?”

She blinked and looked up at him with a nervous look on her face. It took a few minutes for her to drum up the courage to actually speak about it.

“I keep seeing a city. It's not Kirkwall but I... I saw the dark spawn.” Ava took a breath before nodding to herself. “And a lot of dead people. It's not as bad as it was before. When we first got here, it was really bad.”

“And now?”

“Now... now it's getting weird.” She shifted uncomfortably. “That stupid tree in the alienage is the worst. I keep dreaming about it being surrounded by blood and bodies.”

“Is that why you've never gone to visit Merrill?” He asked.

She thought of the elf that Garrett had recruited and gave a small nod. She liked Merrill, she could see herself being friends with the woman but there was no way she would ever go into the alienage willingly. That tree always weirded her out and she really did not need to repeat having a vision and staring up at the damn thing.

“There's other things too.” She took a breath. “I'm seeing stuff when I'm awake now.”

“I thought you said it's not as bad?” Carver said after swearing under his breath.

“Well, it's not bad what I see while I'm awake.” She struggled with it. “It's just... different. Like I'm seeing things that happened. I think. I don't really know. When we went into the alienage the first time, I saw the tree like it is in my dream.”

“Maker's breath...” Carver shook his head. “Maybe you shouldn't be going out to fight with Garrett and I.”

“No.” She shook her head again. “It's the only time I can come back and sleep soundly. It's like... using my magic to the point of being tired out actually lets me sleep soundly.”

“Maybe that's your problem?” Carver said thoughtfully. “You have been repressing yourself pretty hard since you were a kid.”

“Well... I don't want to be a mage.” Ava said as she crossed her arms. “Why couldn't I be normal, like you or mom?”

“Ava...” Carver sighed. “You're fine the way you are.”

“You're just saying that to make me feel better.” Ava huffed. “We all know you don't like the fact that we had to move so much because of there being mages in the family.”

“So?” Carver shook his head. “You're still my sister. Garrett is still my brother. I may have hated what you guys are cause it made us move but you're still family.”

Ava shook a little before Carver pulled her into a hug. She had always been closer to him then to Bethany and Garrett, despite the fact that he was technically the odd man out when it had come to the four of them.

“Now, have you told Garrett?” Carver asked as he sat back. “Or Mother?”

“What? Maker, no.” She shook her head. “I'm pretty sure mom would lock me away and you know Garrett. He'd never let me out of his sight again.”

“Or he could find some way to figure out how to help you or at least understand what's been causing the dreams.”

“Oh, you mean like wander up and ask Orsino what to do with his younger sister who's having nightmares?” Ava said with a little bit of the Hawke sarcasm dripping from her words. “Ooh, better yet, he could go ask that Chantry brother that got him to eliminate the people responsible for his family's death?”

“When you put it like that, it does seem a little bit silly...” Carver's voice was a little gruff and he shook his head at her.

“I know... I've thought about it. I even pondered asking Anders but knowing him, he'll run off to tell Garrett the moment I'm no longer in earshot.” She said with a sigh.

“What about Merrill then?” Carver suggested. “I mean, she's the former First of her clan; I'm sure the elves must have had some lore regarding things like what you're going through.”

“I don't know... I'd love to talk to her about it.” Ava said with a nod. “But that damnable tree is in the way.”

“How about drinks at the Hanged Man? I'm sure Varric wouldn't mind if the two of you used his rooms for a little bit to have a private discussion.”

“Carver... you're a genius!” Ava said with a happy little squeak before wrapping her arms around him in a tight hug. “Will you go ask her to come see me there?”

“I will.” He said with a chuckle before shaking his head. “You should really tell Garrett, though.”

“No.” She shook her head, still a bit miffed that they had both been left behind by their brother when he went to the Deep Roads. “I'll tell him if Merrill gives me bad news, fair enough?”

“Alright, I won't argue that.” He nodded. “When do you want me to go get her?”

“Gimmie a bit to get up and dressed and then I'll meet her there?”

“Alright.”

Carver said as he got to his feet and left her to get changed. Ava was a little bit miffed that she was awakened by her brother as there was something that she had almost figured out in that dream. She wanted to know but then, perhaps it was for the best. For all she knew, this could be another demon toying with her.

It did make her miss Mal who had gone with Garrett into the Deep Roads. The mabari always woke her up before the dreams got too bad.

She skipped out the door of the room to see her uncle standing there, looking annoyed. Her mother was nowhere to be seen. Neither was Carver so she guessed he had already gone to get Merrill.

Without a word to her uncle, she was out the door and to the Hanged Man. People saw her but most paid her no mind, she was just another fixture in Low Town now. The constant thieves knew there were better marks elsewhere so they left her to her own devices. The tavern wasn't that far anyway.

She had only been there a few times but there was no mistaking her similar features. Ava, Garrett and Carver all had the same basic facial features; her's was just a little softer but it was always the eyes that were a dead give away. The three siblings all had that lyrium blue shade that often made people nervous.

She went straight into the tavern and up to the rooms that belonged to Varric. She thought for a moment that maybe this would be trespassing but it passed. Varric would understand why they'd talk here as opposed to say Merrill's or Gamlen's little hovel.

The door was locked when she got there but Ava remembered that the man had hidden a key, just for when his friends needed a place to hideout. A few moments later, and she had fished the key from it's hiding place and was inside. There were things that she could look through if she was nosey but she wasn't the type.

Instead, she just started the fire and made herself comfortable in one of the chairs while she waited.

Sure enough, Carver showed up with Merrill in tow. The young elf looked skittishly around.

“Oh... Varric's rooms. Should we be here? I mean, he's not here and he has all these secrets.” Merrill rambled as she looked around.

Carver gave a slightly sheepish look, the whole plan had been his after all.

“It's okay, Merrill.” Ava said with a grin. “I had a key.”

It wouldn't hurt to lie a little to Merrill, besides, Ava had no plans of rummaging through Varric's things and she certainly wasn't going to let anyone else go through his stuff.

“You two talk, I'll go get some drinks.” Carver said with a nod before disappearing back out the door.

“Talk?” Merrill questioned. “Talk about what? Did I do something wrong?”

“No no.” Ava said shaking her head. “It's... I just wanted to ask you some stuff that you might know about?”

“Oooh, like what?”

“Okay, what I'm about to say is going to sound very strange but...” Ava paused for a moment, thinking. “Is there anything in the Dalish lore about people dreaming about things that happened before?”

“Oh yes, there are.” Merrill said with a happy little smile, delighted to be sharing something with Ava. “Some of the old stories say that if someone was to sleep in an area where the veil is thin - you know, the places where the spirits gather on the other side? Well, if you sleep near one of them, it's possible to actually slip through old memories in the fade.”

Ava tapped her finger against her chin as she thought about it. Could it really be as simple as that? That she was dreaming of events that had happened because there were spirits pushing against the fade.

“Okay, what about if people see those same dreams while they're awake?” She asked.

“While they're awake?” Merrill looked almost startled by the question. “Not usually... no.” Merrill paused for a moment as she thought about it. “Well, there is the possibility but it's really rare. Sometimes, if there are too many negative things around, the memories of the spirits kind of seep into a place. They leave an imprint, sometimes, people can pick up on it. But you've got to be really sensitive to spirits to begin with. Most people who can pick up on those things tend to get possessed.”

Ava's face fell at the words and she hastily looked at her hands.

“Why? Oh... Oh Creators, are you seeing things?” Merrill asked, suddenly becoming lively and leaning forward to take Ava's hands in her's. “What have you been seeing?”

“Bad stuff mostly.” Ava said with a sigh.

“How bad is bad? Is it like.... stubbed your toe really bad or spilled your supper bad?”

“Worse. I saw things like battles. Lots of bodies. Lots of blood.” Ava made a face as she talked.

“That is bad.” Merrill seemed to think for a moment. “Did you recognize any of the places in them?”

“Well... I only two of them.” Ava didn't mention that she was certain she'd had a vision about Fenris getting his lyrium tattoos. That would just be a bit weird given that the vision had been far more indistinct and featured more of a feeling of pain. At least, she assumed it was Fenris getting his lyrium tattoos. “One was Lothering, where we grew up and the other was the alienage.”

“The alienage?” Merrill quirked an eyebrow at that before thinking. “I don't think you're seeing past events then or at least not clearly.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, how much do you know about spirits?” Merrill asked.

“Not that much. Just the basic stuff about demons, really.” Ava responded with a small shrug. Their education was very much the hedge mage stuff that their father could pass on. She knew about demons, knew what drew them and how they worked. She guessed that there were more then just the big three as it were but she had only ever encountered those. “I do know there's more then just demons and that there are spirits like Justice but that's about it.”

“Alright, well, spirits are all on the other side of the fade. They watch and they learn. That's the memories that people can see in the fade if they're really, really good at it. Sometimes, the things they see aren't really clear. It's like one of Varric's stories. It changes each time someone tells it, sometimes even when he tells it again.”

“So, what you're saying is that I could be seeing one spirit's version of an event but that they were so horrified by it that they've blown it out of proportion?”

“Exactly. Spirits are all different even if they're the same kind of spirit, they're not going to see things the same.”

“That's... that's actually a relief, Merrill.” Ava said with a sigh. “I thought I was going nuts.”

“Nuts?” Merrill blinked for a few moments. “Oh, you mean crazy. No, you're not going crazy. You know, you could train yourself to see the good moments too. They're just usually harder to see.”

“Why's that?”

“I'm not sure. Keeper Marethari once said that we are all more prone to remembering the bad things. I think it's the same for spirits.”

“You do have a point.” Ava said with a nod. “Would you teach me how to see the good things?”

“I'm not sure if I can.” Merrill said with a sympathetic tone. “I mean, I can explain it to you but I can't teach you how to do it, I don't know how.”

“You can't do it, can you?”

“No, I can't.” Merrill made a face. “It must be exciting, seeing things that the spirits see.”

“I suppose.” Ava said with a small laugh that she didn't quite feel. “It's not exactly all that pleasant.”

“Oh right, you see the bad things.” Merrill gave a sympathetic smile. “Sorry.”

“Hey, Ava.” Carver said as he came to the door, carrying a pitcher and several mugs. He fixed her a knowing look. “Were you supposed to do something with Fenris today?”

“Ah shite...” Ava muttered as she pulled away from Merrill and got to her feet. “He's not downstairs is he?”

“No, but my guess is he'll be back as I saw him heading to our house. He looked kinda pissed off, grumbling about mages.” Carver said with a small stare at her.

“Am I missing something?” Merrill asked.

“Nothing. I just agreed to help him with something today and completely forgot.” Ava bobbed her head towards Merrill. “If you'll excuse me, I think I better go catch up to him before he comes looking.”

Carver looked a little startled as he realized he was getting left with Merrill. Ava gave him a small smile and a wink before darting out the door and down the stairs. She heard Carver cough awkwardly as she went and managed to hide a small chuckle. Glancing back to the door, she could just see the way her brother had leaned a little bit towards Merrill as he poured up a mug.

She ran full tilt right into Fenris.

“Watch where you're going.” He snapped but he caught her before she fell. His hands were like steel on her arms and it took several moments for him to let go of her.

“Sorry, I was heading up to the mansion.” She responded sheepishly as he glared at her.

“If you have no intention of training, there is no need.” He waved his hand idly and stepped away down the stairs.

Ava blinked as she caught the look on his face before he turned. He looked almost hurt. Like she had hurt his feelings. Fenris moved quickly from the tavern and was out the door before she had time to really process that look.

“No, no. Wait, Fenris.” She hurried to catch up to him, darting outside around a rather large and boisterous drunk. “Damn it! Wait up!”

He stopped suddenly in front of her and she all but ran into him again. Ava managed to keep to her feet but it was pretty irritating that he'd just stop like that.

“I had every intention of going up to the mansion for training, otherwise I wouldn't have asked you.” She said as she darted around to look him in the eye, or as best as she could manage as he was taller then her. “I just had to talk to Merrill about something first, that's all. I didn't realize how late it had gotten.”

Ava paused after she said it and got a look around. It actually wasn't that late out at all. It was still some time just before noon and yet Fenris acted like she had put him off all day.

His face still had that stern look but she could not see any trace of that earlier emotional hurt anywhere. It made her think that she may have imagined it.

“Very well. Then let us go train.” He said simply, not at all explaining his attitude before he started walking back to the mansion.

Ava sighed but followed anyway.  
  


 


	10. Templars

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Templars, brothers and mages, oh my.

“Woman! You're holding it wrong!” His voice was angry as he swatted aside her strike like it was nothing. “Again!”

Ava grunted before she tried to advance on him once more. It seemed that her teacher had the impression of sink or swim when it came to learning how to use a sword. She did not voice her complaints however, instead, trying to do it like he expected of her but her muscles ached from the constant swinging of the sword. They had been training for several days now and it seemed she was not learning as quickly as he would have liked.

“Fenhedis!” He swore at her before he moved with that frightening speed of his.

He was around and behind her before she had even time to blink. His arms sliding around her as his hands moved to her's. He slid first one hand of hers down the pommel while the other balanced the blade more accurately in her grip. His armour dug into her back but even that was ignored as she was suddenly very aware of that closeness. Right now she was just trying hard to focus on what he was saying as opposed to the line of his jaw.

“Like this,” His voice was a growl in her ear as he readjusted her hands. “The sword is meant to be an extension of you, you don't wave it around like some drunken dwarf handling a mage staff.”

She swallowed and turned her face to where his was above her shoulder. That was a terrible mistake on her part as she was now focusing on his lips rather inappropriately. He caught her looking and his face turned to her's.

There was heat in those eyes when he looked at her but she knew that wasn't anger. That was a whole other look that made her legs suddenly feel a little weak. She was certain he could hear her heart beat as it rammed itself against her chest. He leaned in closer to her and she was certain his mouth was going to find her's but the loud sound of the door below being thrown open suddenly had him letting go of her and twirling to find out who had entered the mansion. That look remained in his eyes as he turned but his face was once more schooled into that calm look.

“Fenris!”

The voice of Sebastian made her curious but she did not quite hear what was being said, that is until she heard her name being spoken.

“Sebastian?” She questioned as she came out of the room, having dropped the sword in the room. He was not one of the usual people that worked with Garrett, having shown up the once and then gone back to his Chantry. He hated mages much like Fenris but he had always been nice to her, she guessed it had something to do with Garrett.

“Oh, thank the Maker,” He said with relief colouring his face. “Templars are heading into Low Town, someone told them about the Apostate living....”

She didn't wait for him to finish as she ran down the stairs, taking two of them at a time. Her thoughts went to Carver who was still at the home. He was not a mage, but he was still her brother and she just hoped that the Templars would leave him be. She remembered the stories of Templars who had taken Apostates to the circle and locked up those who had harboured them. The thought of that happening to her brother or mother was too much to bear.

She ignored Fenris calling her back as she went out the door. She didn't care what Garrett had said, she was not going to stand by and let something befall her family. She ran as fast as her legs could carry her, even jumping over wagons and dodging the people in her way. The distance to Low Town seemed to bleed away to nothing.

She rounded the corner just before Gamlen's house when she heard them. The Templars were all standing outside the house. Carver was standing among them while their mother was standing by the door and weeping. Anger and desperation rose inside her as she began to pull that magic inside her. Tugging on the power like it was a bunch of little strings. It was the first time out of battle that she had willed her offensive magic into being but she was not going to just stand by as the Templars tore apart her family. She could feel the fire building right beneath her fingers.

Then she felt herself being grabbed and dragged into the little alleyway. She glared at Fenris as he tugged her up against him, and away from the visibility of the Templars. Fenris kept a firm grip on her, one hand moving to grasp hard onto the heated one. She was too angry to see the wince of pain as her touch burned his skin. The lyrium marks on his skin lit up as he forced her body up against the wall. Her eyes were full of anger as she hissed at him. She thrashed against him and tried to pull free but he silenced any protest when his mouth came hard against her's.

It was a rough kiss, full of heat and desperation. Her magic died down as he kissed her. She was still enraged at what was happening with Carver but part of that broke and she could not stem the tide of feelings that welled up in her. She found herself kissing him back. A hunger she had never known driving her to open her mouth to his. That one hand still firmly grasped by his as the other went to grip at his armour. At first it was to pull him into her but then she was trying to shove him away.

He was far stronger then she but that did not mean that she was not going to try.

“Stop,” Fenris voice was still that growl but there was a husky tone to it. “They will take you if they find you.”

“I can't let them take Carver. Not because of me.” She whimpered against his mouth.

“Ava,” His voice was low. “He went with them. On his own.”

She went still and looked up at him with tears forming in her eyes. She did not want to believe that her brother would join those that had persecuted his family for so long. It felt like she had been punched in the stomach. “My .. my mother?”

“She is fine,” Fenris scooped her up into his arms and darted down the alleyway, heading right back to his mansion. “You will remain in my mansion until Hawke returns. I will let Leandra know where you are.”

She did little but nod before clinging to him. He was solid like a rock just like she had imagined since that moment he had first pressed against her in the Undercity but she felt none of that fire. She felt empty and betrayed.


	11. Hawke's Return

She had been a little listless since her brother had gone to the Templars and he ached to make it better. She still trained but those eyes seemed almost dim to him, lifeless. He prayed that Hawke would return soon as the days were progressing on.

He sat by the fire as he examined the burn on his hand. There were mixed feelings about it. Ava had used his magic against him but yet he could not hate her for it. She had been building the spell to use against the Templars and he had stopped her. It was a strange thing to think that he felt no malice towards her for her actions.

Still, he thought about why he had stopped her. He kept telling himself that it was his duty to Hawke. He had agreed to keep the man's family safe while he was in the Deep Roads but deep down he knew it was for another reason.

He hadn't wanted them to take her.

He closed his eyes for a moment as he thought about that kiss. It had been rash and impulsive, and borderline stupid. At the time, his thoughts had been only to distracting her before she gave herself up to the Templars and the brief moment of fear that he could not repress. Now, he could not think of anything other then the fact that she had kissed him back. He savoured the memory of her mouth on his but reality had been sharp and cruel. She had not talked to him at all since he brought her back to the mansion and he was certain it was because he had pushed things. Even if it was to distract her, it was still a push in a direction she was apparently not willing to go.

He sighed and decided that he would take her to Merrill or perhaps even Anders. The thought of the later rolled his stomach and he shook his head to himself. Definitely Merrill. He would take her to Merrill.

“Fenris?”

He looked up from his thoughts to see her standing there in the doorway. She was paler and he could still see the misery in those normally bright eyes.

“Are you alight?” He asked as he quickly wrapped up his hand.

“What's wrong with your hand?” She ignored the question and advanced on him quickly before sinking before him. She did not ask and pulled his hand into her's.

“It is nothing.” He shook his head but did not pull away.

“It's a burn...” She said under her breath as she undid the bandages. He could hear the intake of breath as she continued. “I burned you.”

“It is alright,” He said as he looked down at her.

His thoughts went to other mages. Ones he would have killed if they dared to touch him, let alone used their magic on him. Seeing her there, kneeling with that lost look on her face, and he knew he could not be angry with her for it. She seemed horrified by her own actions that led to him getting hurt. He placed his hand over her's.

“No, it isn't.” She continued to stare at his hand. She pulled her other hand free from his and hovered it over his. “May I?”

“Yes, you may.” He knew that she was asking for permission to use magic on it. Had it been Anders, he probably would have punched the abomination in the mouth.

He felt the small stab of pain across his skin as the lyrium marks reacted to the flow of magic. He had been healed during battle by the other mages amongst their friends but there was always a bite to their magics, and even worse was his memory of the Tevinter mages and the things they did. Ava was not in either category. The pain from the lyrium was still there but her magic was softer, gentler; it almost felt natural for her power to dance along his skin. It was a peculiarity that he had noticed before during their battles but he thought nothing of it now.

The soft green glow that flowed from her fingers into the burn was soothing as it began to heal, becoming a scar that grew fainter until it was finally gone. He flexed his fingers after she was done but his hand remained in between her two smaller ones. Without the pain of the wound, and the press of her magic, the touch was far more then pleasant.

“There,” She said softly. “Sorry, I'm not that good with healing burns.”

“You did fine. You are getting quite adept at healing.” He swallowed before leaning forward. “Ava... I am sorry about Carver.”

“It's alright, Fenris,” She said as her head bowed. “He's a grown man, he made his choice.”

Fenris could hear the pain in her voice and it made his heart ache. He reached forward and tilted her chin up before he stared into those lyrium blue eyes. His whole body leaning as he stopped short of kissing her. He ran his tongue over his lip as he gazed into her eyes. “A foolish choice.”

He was glad he stopped there as he heard someone else barging into his house. He managed to keep himself from swearing at this new interruption. He got from his chair and positioned himself between her and whomever was coming up the stairs.

“What is it?” She asked as she followed him to standing, her body behind his. A frown etching across those features as she stared out the door. “Templars?”

Fenris did not know what was out there but he knew for certain. If it was templars would be in for a fight if they had come here for her, he would not let any of them take her. He stepped towards the door and glanced out, a sigh of relief as he saw that it was Hawke trudging wearily up the stairs.

“Garrett!”

Ava darted out the door and practically threw herself into her brother's arms. Hawke caught her easily enough before giving her a quick kiss on the cheek.

“Hawke,” Fenris said with a nod but made no move to get closer to the two of them.

“Fenris,” Hawke's voice was a little strained. “Mother told me what happened with Carver.”

“It is as it is,” Fenris said with an uncomfortable look.

“I know,” Hawke said with a nod. “Thank you for taking care of them as best as you could.” He set his sister down on the stairs before beckoning her to follow him. “Come on, it's time you see the Amell ancestral home.”

Hawke led the way down the stairs but Ava paused and glanced back at Fenris. Her expression was unreadable but he did not say anything to her. Not a word as she turned to follow Hawke. Fenris watched them until they were out of sight, and only then did he return to the main room. He collapsed into the chair and stared at his healed hand.

 


	12. Chapter 12

Ava did not know what to think. One moment they had been poor refugees and now they lived in High Town. The mansion her grandparents had once owned was large and spacious but it did not quite feel like home. It bothered her a little that Carver wasn't there with them but she knew her brother had made his choice. Garrett seemed to accept it but mother still blamed him for it.

It also became clear to her that her mother expected her to deal with the courting of the man noblemen who came calling. Ava knew her mother had asked Garrett not to take her out any longer on missions and it irked her. Still, she snuck out as often as she could to go and help him and the others.

She still endeavoured to train with Fenris but each time she tried to go, her mother cornered her and the guilting began. Today was a day no different. She was lacing up her boots when her mother cornered her.

“Where are you going?”

“Out.” Ava responded as she continued to do the laces up.

“Out where?” Leandra persisted.

“Going training.” She responded, still focusing intently on her boots.

“Not today.” Leandra's voice was calm. “We are going to a dinner event at the Seneschal's home.”

Ava wrinkled her nose before looking up at her mother. Even in the twilight years of her life, Leandra was still a pleasant looking woman but that pretty face was set in a determined look as she glanced at her youngest child.

“Didn't we go to a dinner at his home a few days ago?”

“We're going. Change into something more lady like.” Leandra said with a flourish before she whirled from the room.

Ava stopped and stared at her boots. She sighed before shaking her head and returning to lacing up her boot. She had finished getting the laces done when she felt a pair of eyes watching her. Glancing up, she could see her brother standing in the doorway.

“Garrett,” She said with a small nod.

“You're going with mother.”

“What?” No.” She said with a huff and a quick shake of her head.

“You are.” Garrett said with a sigh as he rubbed the bridge of his nose. “There will be no arguments.”

She stared at her brother with a blank look before she managed to speak. “So that's it? No ifs, ands or buts. Off to schmoozing with the nobles I go?”

“Don't look at me like that.” Garrett sighed again. “Our mother is determined that one of us go and she hasn't exactly been talking to me that much since I got back from the Deep Roads. Besides, you're the daughter she has to marry off.”

“You're funny.” She looked over at the sheathed sword and staff laying by the door frame. “I had other plans today, Garrett.”

“And they've just been changed.” Garrett said with a small wave of his hand. “You don't have to like them but please, just go for mother's sake.”

She sighed before nodding. “Fine, but you owe me.” She muttered under her breath as she started unlacing her boots. “Bethy was always the one more into this kind of thing.”

“She was, wasn't she?” Garrett said thoughtfully as they both thought of the other Hawke sibling, the one that never made it to Kirkwall.

Ava didn't say anything as she pulled the first boot off. She did not like thinking of Bethany too much as that pain was still a little too real, even after the time that had passed since the blight in Lothering.

“I still remember when you wanted to play templars and mages. You were so insulted that Carver wouldn't let you be a templar.” Garrett said with a small smile. “You couldn't understand why you had to be a mage like Bethany.”

“I was seven, Garrett.” She said with a small huff before shaking her head.

“That being said... I got something for you.” Garrett said with a small sigh before he leaned back out the door and retrieved a small package. He stepped into the room and handed her the carefully wrapped object, speaking as he waited for her to open it. “Consider this a bribing gift. You can still train with Fenris, and go out with us occasionally but you're doing as Mother asks.”

Ava glared at him before she undid the wrappings. Within the cloth was a sword that was beautifully made. Slender and more her size then the cumbersome one she had been using. The pommel stone was a blue stone that looked oddly familiar. She held the sword in her hand for a moment, feeling the leather beneath her fingers and testing the weight of it. While she was not familiar with the exact 'rightness' of swords, she knew enough to understand how the sword was supposed to feel in her hand.

“It's... beautiful.”

“The stone is same as a mage stone, it'll help focus your spells.” He said with a nod. “It's neutrally charged so I don't think you'll be firing fireballs or any such thing from it but it should work well with healing magic.”

“Afraid that I'm going to run off and get myself killed?” She asked with a smile.

“No, more concerned that you need something to help bolster your healing spells so you don't get me killed.” Garrett grinned at her. “Don't bang it up during training.”

“Oh... yeah, I'll stick with the dull one for that.” She nodded.

“Right, now get changed to go with Mother.”

“That's fighting dirty, you know.”

“I know.”

Garrett laughed back at her before he stepped out the door and left her to marvel at her brand new sword. It wasn't a hand me down, and it wasn't a second hand purchase. A brand new sword, just for her.

 


	13. Chapter 13

Hawke's return had spelled some changes for them all. The Hawkes now found themselves as the wealthiest family in Kirkwall, and Fenris saw less of Ava then he liked. She showed up every so often to train with him but never once did things go back to that kiss and the almost kisses. They discussed very little during those days and then she stopped showing up entirely.

It had been agony to think of an attraction to a mage but now it was pure torture not getting to see her. The decision to leave had been completely wiped away by that need to be near her and see her. He started patrolling High Town for his own amusement but the path always took him by Hawke's mansion. Sometimes, he would hear Ava within, her voice rising up in a laugh. He could always imagine the smile that accompanied the laugh but it was never that smile she had worn for him.

Even when he started going to the Hanged Man for cards night, he still travelled past the mansion. Just hoping to catch a glimpse of her. She rarely went to the card nights and Hawke never explained why. No one asked but then he was never the one to volunteer. On the few times that she had gone there but it had always been on days when he was working with Hawke.

When they were on those missions together, it was like everything fell into perfect place. They moved in tandem, and for once, he did not find it difficult to fight with a mage. There was only the one time that he actually lost his temper at her.

They had been fighting a rather persistent group of villains in High Town. These men were nothing more then common thugs who had managed to arrange themselves into some little group and taken to preying on the unwary who wandered the streets. He had relished the fight, his blade arching out with the simple skill he had honed for years. They had beaten them down quickly when a second group of them seemed to appear out of the shadows.

One dropped down from the nearby roof just behind Ava and he felt a different kind of rush flood him. Rage filled his mind as he ran at her, holding his sword out at just the right place for a quick slice to deal with this thug.

Ava had her eyes closed, her lips moving in some spell or other and did not notice the danger.

“Woman!” Fenris shouted. “Move!”

The eyes flicked open and he could see the raw power there but she obeyed his words. That power doubled back into herself as she quickly darted to the side. The thug behind her had only a brief moment of surprise before Fenris' blade dug deep into his side.

He turned to look at her, a quick look to ensure that she was not hurt. A quick look was enough to show him what he had been longing to see for the last few months. Those normally pale cheeks flushed from the thrill of battle and those lips parting in small pants for air. It stirred shameful thoughts within his mind and he quickly looked away from her to the rest of the fight.

Fighting for him was as easy as it was to breathe. That sword moving out several times as he took on the others who thought they could control the streets of High Town without repercussion. They were all capable fighters and it was a nice change from the fighting he had done before coming to Kirkwall. To have allies at his back and to know that they were all decent fighters and willing to fight with him and for him.

They all paused after the battle and he stole another look in her direction. That red hair had become partially undone during the fight and now she stood there, fixing her hair back into the braid like this was an every day occurrence.

“Well, who's up for drinks and a game of Wicked Grace?” Varric's voice cut through his glances.

“I shouldn't...” Ava started before looking over at her brother.

“Ah, come on, Little Duck.” Varric said with that good natured grin of his. “I'm sure going to the Hanged Man with friends won't be so bad.”

“Varric, I don't know about that.” Garrett said as he glanced to his sister.

“Hey, it's not like you won't be there too, Garrett.” Varric said quickly.

“Alright, just a little while.” Garrett said with a sigh before motioning for Varric to lead the way.

Fenris had planned on just returning home but when Garrett and Ava appeared to be going, he knew he was going to follow. They started to walk away and he found himself falling in step easily enough.

“You coming too, Broody?” Varric asked.

“Of course.” Fenris responded as he followed after the three. Silently thanking the dwarf as he kept just a step behind Ava.

Ava hurried to catch up to Garrett and the two of them were discussing something about their new manor. His eyes were drawn to the shifting of her hips and the way that robe clung to her curves. The polite coughing from Varric brought his attention away to the Dwarf.

“Eyes up, Broody.” Varric said with a grin.

Fenris scowled at the dwarf as they walked but thankfully, it was only a short walk to get to the Hanged Man. They all filed in and found their friends were already there and waiting. Merrill was sitting next to Isabela, the pair giggling over something. Fenris was sure he heard Carver's name being mentioned but it was truly hard to make out exactly what they were saying about the other Hawke.

Ava sat next to Merrill while Hawke moved to sit next to Isabela. Varric pulled him aside for a moment to whisper towards him.

“Careful, Broody, your eyes tend to wander a little too long.”

“I don't know what you're talking about.” Fenris responded with a huff.

“Sure, you don't.” Varric said with a wave of his hand. “Just remember, she's Hawke's little sister.”

“I'm well aware of that.”

“Thought you didn't know what I was talking about?” Varric said with a chuckle before he moved to sit next to Hawke.

Fenris was left sputtering for a few moments and found he had to take the last seat available. He couldn't keep the scowl off his face as he noticed that Anders had chosen to sit right next to Ava. There was a faint glower at the Abomination with how he leaned just a little closer to the younger mage, whispering something in her ear.

“So, who's dealing first?” Varric quipped.

“Ooh, can I?” Merrill asked with a happy chirp. “Isabela has been teaching me how to cut the deck.”

“Sure, just so long as she's only teaching you how to cut the deck and not cheat.” Varric said with a laugh as he passed the cards over.

“It's not my fault you never catch me, Varric.” Isabela's voice held a light tease.

Fenris zoned out the rest of the inane conversation and only half heartedly paid attention to the game. He was having trouble keeping his focus on the cards when he could hear her laughing in response to some joke or other said by Anders.

This night had such promise and now he was just becoming more antsy by the minute.

“I am out.” Fenris said as he forced his body to relax. Doing everything in his power not to show how irritated he was.

“Aww.” Isabela said with a pout.

“You in for the next round?” Varric asked with a quirk of his eyebrow.

“No, I had best head in for the night.” Fenris responded as he got up from the table. “That and I want to keep what coin I have before Isabela gets it all.”

He left it at that as he turned towards the door, never catching the look that passed between Varric and Isabela. He was surprised, however when he heard Ava calling out to him.

“Fenris, wait.”

“You turning in for the night too, Little Duck?” Varric asked, amusement colouring his voice.

“Yes, I'm expected to go to some silly luncheon thing tomorrow with Mother.”

Fenris felt his heart fall a little. He had hoped they would have time to train tomorrow but it seems like she was going to be distracted with something else yet again.

“Alright, looks like I'm done too then.” Garrett said as he went to get up.

“No, you can stay, Garrett.” Ava said with a shake of her head as she stepped away from the table. “Fenris is going that way, he can walk me home.”

Fenris turned to look at Garrett and gave the other man a nod. “Very well.”

“Alright, if you're sure.” Garrett said before settling back down.

“C'mon.” Ava said as she headed out of the tavern, Fenris following close on her heels.

The night air was bracing and he could almost forget his earlier annoyance with Anders having sat next to her. Now that the prying eyes of the group were no longer upon them, he took his time to gaze at her as she looked up at the few stars visible in the night over Kirkwall. Those familiar urges crept up within him but he did not act upon them.

“Thanks,” She said with that radiant smile that made his heart beat quicken. “I really wanted to get out of there, Anders' jokes were terrible but I didn't want to be rude.”

He hadn't actually considered that she had been unhappy with sitting next to Anders but he couldn't deny that he felt a small measure of delight when she said that.

“You do not like Anders?” He asked as they started to walk.

“Oh, I like him just fine.” She made a small face. “Just don't like the fact that he's all Hawke this, Hawke that. I swear he's trying to warm up to me just to get close to Garrett.”

His steps stuttered for a moment as he heard what she was saying. He had not realized that the abomination had feelings for Hawke, as he had assumed that he was lavishing attention on Ava for the same reason he did.

“Something wrong?” She asked.

“No, nothing is wrong.” He shook his head, once more setting the pace of their walking. It was strange how they fell into easy steps together, not quite identical strides but close enough that it was almost enjoyable. “If you wished to leave earlier, you could have said something.”

“Yes, but you know Garrett, he doesn't let me walk home by myself in Kirkwall.” She made a face.

“I would have offered to walk you home.” The words were out of his mouth before he had the time to even think about it.

“Oh.” That radiant smile was back on her face. “I'll keep that in mind, next time.”

Silence hung over them for a few moments as he tried to get his mind back to the moment, as opposed to the awkward fumbling it was doing. He wanted to tell her that she could ask at any time and he would willingly leave them all behind to steal a few minutes of time with her alone. It was just that he could not think of the words.

“And thank you.”

“For what?” Fenris asked, tilting his head to look at her.

“For earlier, in the fight. You saved my life... again.” She grinned at him.

“It was my pleasure.” He said with a nod. “You are getting better with the sword but you need to remember to keep your eyes open in the middle of battle.”

They were just at the door of Hawke's mansion and he wished they weren't. There were things he wanted to say to her.

“That's what I have you for.” She said as she leaned up to press a gentle kiss on his cheek.

He was too stunned to think of a response as she danced away from him and into the mansion proper. The door closed behind her as he moved to rest his hand against his cheek and felt the lingering warmth. His eyes unfocused as he wondered if he should follow her in but thought better of it. It was with a struggle that he managed to force himself to walk to his own mansion even as his mind played that kiss over and over.

 


	14. Bitter Pill

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They do the thing.

They had been out on a mission one day, heading towards the Dalish camp when they were ambushed. Their words echoing in his ears as they called him slave and threatened Hawke. Yet, there was a measure of peace to be had when Hawke stood by him. Knowing that the man, and the others, all stood behind him was a wonderful thing but it was short lived when the slavers chose to attack him.

That rage boiled up inside him and they killed every single slaver that had come for him and then faced their leader. A woman, Hadriana, that had haunted him as a slave. She was there in Kirkwall. She had been the one to come for him and he would not allow himself to be taken. Hawke, Varric, Aveline and Merrill had accompanied him to face her down.

He knew it was an eye opening experience for the two women when they discovered the lengths that the Tevinter Magisters would go to in their quest for power but that was not the point of this little trip. They had encountered a slave, a girl by the name of Orana but again, it was not why he was there.

Hadriana was the goal, and not a slaver could stand in their way. He came face to face with her and she begged for her life, even tried to trade information about his family for it. It was then he learned he had a sister but he could not resist the hate that welled up inside him and Hadriana was yet another that fell before him. Hawke tried to be comforting but he snapped at the man before fleeing the slavers den.

He wandered the streets of Kirkwall even as his thoughts jumped between all of it. Danarius, Hadriana, the past he may have had and the woman that he wanted. Finally, he decided to speak to Hawke about everything.

Instead of waiting for the man to find him, he went to Hawke's mansion to wait. He sat on the bench out in the entryway and stared at his hands as he waited. He had no idea what subject to discuss first but he knew he owed Hawke some manner of explanation. He glanced up as he heard the door open, a small swear uttered under his breath as he saw Ava enter.

Those blue eyes were fixated on him and full of concern. He got to his feet as she moved towards him, speaking loudly.

“Fenris! I was worried about you!”

He tried to figure out the words to say to her but it was hard when those lyrium blue eyes were looking at him like that. It was easy to forget their strained relationship for that moment but he quickly reminded himself as to why he was here. A rush of feeling hit him and he focused on remembering that she had avoided him for the last few months. She had been the one to stop showing up at the mansion and to never be at the Hanged Man when he was there.

“Hawke told me what happened, are you alright?” Her tone was almost scolding but that concern was still there. There was another note in her voice that sent shivers up his spine. “He's still out looking for you! We had no idea where you went!”

He sighed and knew he had to explain to her. To tell her why he had gone away from Hawke and why he had not come to her sooner. He turned away before speaking, he did not want her to see the anger in his face as he spoke. His words were clear but he could not keep the angry tone from slipping into his voice.

“I needed to be alone. I took my anger out on Hawke... unfairly so.” He took a breath as he closed his eyes and thought back to what had happened. He regretted his words to Hawke completely and wished he could take them back but all he could do was explain himself. “When I was still a slave, Hadriana was a torment. She would ridicule me, deny my meals, hound my sleep. Because of her status I was powerless to respond and she knew it.”

There was a pause as he turned and looked at Ava, his eyes meeting her's for a moment. He felt the anger rising and could not bare to look too long into those lyrium blue eyes when he felt that rage filling him. She may have been a mage but it was unfair to her to be this angry over things that she had little to no knowledge of. Once more, he turned from her and took a few steps even as he felt the scowl on his face. He tried to get his emotions under control but there was only anger.

“The thought of her slipping out of my grasp now, I couldn't let her go. I wanted to but I couldn't,” He clenched his hands as he talked, trying to dispel the anger that welled up inside him. He did not want to lose his temper in front of her.

“What do you mean?” Her voice was calm but he could hear that under current of concern.

“This hate,” The scowl faded from his face as he spoke in the face of her calmness. “I thought I had gotten away from it but it dogs me no matter where I go. To feel it again. To know it was they who planted it inside me. It was too much to bare.”

He closed his eyes before drawing in a calming breath. Anger still filled him and he did not want this to affect her opinion of her any further. He knew she already had a strange opinion of him ever since they first met.

“But I didn't come here to burden you or Hawke.” He turned towards the door. Leaving that as his good bye as he went to leave.

“You don't need to leave Fenris”

Her hand was on his arm before he could take another step. The anger still bubbling inside him caused him to whirl around. His hands grabbing onto her arms as he pushed her up against the wall. There was a slight gasp from between those rosy lips of her's but there was no fear in those eyes as she looked up at him. She looked startled and concerned, and that was it. He met her eyes but he did not gaze long into them.

He could feel something other then anger when he looked into those eyes. That awful feeling. That hope that maybe she saw something other then his hate and rage at mages. That she could see him as a man instead of a former slave. He despised how weak she made him feel but yet, he wanted to feel it because it was _her_ that made him feel like this.

Fenris wanted to apologize and moved his hands off her arms as he took a step back but Ava followed. She stood on tiptoes and pressed her mouth against his. That mouth was warm and wet, her lips tasting almost sweet as she kissed him. His mind went whirling off into a million different directions but he did not deny her. In fact, he leaned into that kiss and felt the need to devour her mouth with his. His mouth was rough but that feeling he'd had for months about her urged him on. That need was almost dizzying. He had to kiss her, to claim her mouth with his. He felt her tongue welcoming his into her mouth and he almost got lost in the sheer bliss of that little acceptance. It was different then that first stolen kiss as this had nothing to do with anyone else. This was just them.

His hands found their way to her hips as he lifted her up against the wall. There was no stopping this feeling of passion he had for the mage and she seemed to respond in kind to him. Her hands slid to pull her robe up enough that she could lift her legs freely, the material bunching at her waist as one leg wrapped around his hip in an all too suggestive manner. Somehow, he kept his hands from wandering the skin that was now bared against his armour. The mere thought of it was making him hard against the leather of his pants.

“Ava... I...” Fenris managed after he broke the kiss. He wanted her so badly that it was an ache that settled in his bones but he was not sure if she truly wanted him back. Even if she kissed him in return, he still tried to find some reason as to why she would turn away from him in a moment. It was not like he had been the friendliest of people.

“Shut up and kiss me.” Ava's voice was husky but there was a definite denial of questioning.

Those words were enough to chase away the doubts for the moment. He said nothing and allowed her to pull him back against her. It was glorious, this thing between them, the heat and need.

There was discomfort as her hands travelled along his arms, her fingers glancing over the lyrium marks, but there was also pleasure at the simple contact of her skin on his. It was surprising as he had realized he wanted her but never realized exactly _how_ badly he had wanted to feel her and he knew he wanted more of her body against his. He had to have more of her bared to him. One hand darting down to trail over her bare leg and he could almost feel the heat of her body through his glove.

The kissing was more then he had ever dreamed but with each passing moment, he could feel his resolve slipping. If he did not stop, he would end up removing that dress from her here in the entryway of Hawke's mansion and he found that he didn't care who would see them here.

“Fenris,” She panted as she broke the kiss. “My room? Before everyone gets back?”

She had clearly been on the same thought. He did not set her down, carrying her through the house to the room just behind the study. It was a little out of the way but there was no one to see them wander in. Everyone was out and he would have his privacy with the little mage.

He had never been in her room before but wasted no time with a quick glance around, familiarizing himself with the layout. It was a modest room, a chair and desk, a chest for clothes and a simple bed. His eyes lingered on that bed a little longer then the rest. It was a large thing that took up most of the room and piled high with pillows.

“Close the door or put me down so I can?”

Her laugh was like music and he set her down on her feet. The robe slid back down her legs in a haphazard motion and she made no effort to smooth it back out. He loathed the idea of stepping away from her but it gave him an opportunity to let his eyes wander over her body. There was no reason why he simply could not look at her with the feeling he's had for what felt like an eternity.

Those normally pale cheeks of hers were flushed and alive with excitement over simply just kissing him. She wore the typical robes that most mages did, although her's was styled a little fancier. No doubt something her mother had bought her as she seemed more for the practical kind of outfits. It did accentuate those hips and clung just a little to her breasts. His breath caught for a moment as she smiled at him, that beautiful and radiant smile. That smile she had just for him. He wanted to kiss her again but he had to be sure.

“Ava... this... I mean...” He shifted uncomfortably for a moment, as he tried to put things into words. He suddenly felt very awkward despite his usual self assured nature. “I want you but do you want ...”

She closed the distance between them and pressed her mouth against his once more. It was a quick kiss but there was a promise of far more then just a kiss. Her teeth catching for a moment on his lower lip before she pulled back to look up at him.

“Yes,” Those lyrium blue eyes were peering into his own and there was more then just lust there. “I want you, Fenris.”

He could not help the soft moan that pulled from his lips as he leaned down to lift her into his arms once more. His anger was gone and in that place was only her. Her voice, her touch, her scent. Everything was her.

  
  


He remained curled around her as sleep claimed them both, his naked body against her's. Their love making had been passionate and so full of need for one another that it had almost been too much for him. He had never needed someone like he needed her.

Then came the flashes.

They were little things. Faces, names, places. Things he could remember but for an instant. A red haired elven girl in tattered clothing. Another woman who smiled at him and called him a name he did not know. Other slaves. Fighting. City streets that seemed to stretch out far as he could see. The images came quickly and then were gone.

It startled him awake and he looked down at the woman in the bed. He felt an ache in his heart as he realized what had happened. In a moment that should have been nothing but pure happiness, he had the bitter taste of what his life had been like and then it fell away like it had never happened. He had held everything that he had ached for, his past and future all at once; now there was only a bitterness and pain that crept in. Fenris wanted to stay with her but he couldn't. Not after those memories had been there. He felt helpless and a new ache settled inside him.

He slid from the bed and began to get dressed even as he tried to sort things out in his mind. He couldn't do this. The pain of losing the life he had before was fresh like it had only just happened. He paced as he tried to figure out what to say to her when she woke.

“Was it that bad?”

There was a small chuckle with her voice and he turned to look at those beautiful blue eyes. He wanted to explain it all to her but there was a fear clinging at the pit of his stomach but he steeled himself to try and find what words he needed to say.

“I'm sorry, it's not,” He struggled to find the words, not looking into her face if he could help it. “It was fine.”

There was a brief pause as he knew how bad that sounded. She did not respond but there was an awkward look on her face.

“No, that's insufficient,” He said as he stopped pacing and made direct eye contact with her. “It was better then anything I could have dreamed.” It was the truth of it. He had lain with other women before but it had paled in comparison to being able to have her. The memory of that moment would be something he would keep with him until the moment he died.

“Your markings, they hurt don't they?” She asked, moving to sit up in the bed. Her face was written with concern and he wanted to race to her and tell her that it was not her fault but he remained where he stood.

“It's not that,” His voice cracked a little before he continued. “I began to remember my life before. Just flashes.”

Ava slid to the edge of the bed, just within touching distance but he turned and took a step away from her. Dancing just out of her grasp and keeping himself from looking into her face. He did not want to see the hurt that was blossoming on those features. He clenched his jaw as he tried to think of what to say to her.

“It's too much. It's too fast,” He could not keep the pain out of his voice as he spoke. “I cannot... do this.”

“We can work through this,” Her voice was almost pleading, but she made no move to get closer to him. He was not sure if his resolve would have held if she had come closer to him.

“I'm sorry. I feel like such a fool. All I wanted was to be happy. For a little while.”

He did not wait for her to answer, turning instead to walk out of her room. He swallowed against the feeling building in his chest. He had known loss well enough over the last few years. They had become frequent companions, misery and despair being right there with them. He did not know if Hawke was home but he did not care at that moment.

“Mesere Fenris!”

Bhodan sounded surprised to see him but he did not stop to talk to the Dwarf, instead moving past him and out into the night air. The dwarf would probably inform Hawke that he had been here but that was not Fenris' concern at this point.

He walked down several streets before stopping into an alleyway. Only then did he let the grief rise up. She had been on his mind since the moment he had first laid eyes on her. So unsure of herself but determined to prove the equal to her brothers, even asking him to teach her how to use a sword so that she could pass herself off as less of a mage. How she had been willing to learn and did not seem to care about the state of the mansion or his attitude. She had wormed her way deep into his heart and he would never deny these feelings for her but it was too much for him.

Fenris cursed himself as the first tear rolled down his cheek. He slammed his hand against the wall as he stared down at his feet. He did not want to think about anything, especially not the way her body had moved against his. The sound of her voice rising up to call his name even as his mouth travelled along her bare skin. The memory of her was still so fresh in his mind and he knew he could not go back to her.

The fluttering of a small piece of cloth caught his attention. There, wedged into the top of his boot was one of the dark purple ribbons she often wore in her hair. He swallowed against the lump in his throat as he pulled it free. He stared at it as the wind seemed intent on tearing it from his grasp. He ran his fingers over it before he moved to tie it around his wrist.

“Lookey here boys, an elf in High Town.”

He heard the voice and turned to look at the group of men who were standing at the other end of the alley.

“Time to teach 'im his place, methinks.”

Fenris ignored the pain and grinned as he straightened up. Without a word, he drew his sword and launched himself headlong into the group of men. This. This was what he could deal with.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Takes place pretty early in Act 2 of the game for those curious about my timeline.
> 
> This was almost smutty... almost.


	15. Even More Bitter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Garrett knows something went down.

“Mesere Hawke?”

Bodahn's voice roused Hawke from his pacing and he turned to his open doorway. He quirked an eyebrow at the dwarf before motioning for the man to sleep. It was strange how the man had settled into being his servant but the dwarf viewed it as such for the rescue of his son in the Deep Roads a year before.

“You told me to inform you if serah Fenris came around?” Bodahn looked nervous as he spoke. “Well, it seems he was. He was speaking with Lady Ava but he just left.”

“Speaking with Ava?” Hawke frowned before nodding to Bodahn. “Thank you, Bodahn.”

It seemed the dwarf was about to say something else but did not want to say it. Hawke merely stared at him for a few moments longer before he finally volunteered. “I think there may have been trouble, he left in a hurry and Lady Ava hasn't left her room since then.”

“Thank you,” Hawke said with a sigh as he ran his hand through his dark hair. “I'll go talk to her.”

Bodahn nodded his head before heading down the stairs.

Hawke looked over his room and gave another sigh before heading for the stairs going down to the lower level. He knew that supper would be soon but he did not quite feel like eating at the moment. He had spent the better part of the day trying to find Fenris, only to find that the man had been here and talking with Ava. It irked him a little but it's not like Hawke had gone to Ava's room to tell her she was here.

He walked through the study and stopped at her door. He knocked like he always did. Solid strikes against the door way.

“Ava, it's Garrett.” He called out.

“Garrett?” Her voice sounded far more quiet then usual. “Hold on.”

He heard the door unlock which was another perplexing thing to him. Ava almost never locked the door to her room. They had grown up in small farm houses, the concept of having a locked room all to themselves was a bit foreign.

He found himself staring when the door was opened. His normally composed sister looked completely dishevelled. Her hair hung loosely about her shoulders and her robes were a bit askew on her body, like she had hastily dressed to open the door. It was easy to see the lines that tears had made down her cheeks and her eyes were red rimmed from crying. His eyes, however, were drawn to a small bruise half hidden by the top of her robe.

“Ava?” He questioned even as his mind raced. Fenris had been here and just left. Ava was now bruised and had been crying. His hands balled into fists as anger flashed into his mind. “Fenris did this?” He could not keep the rage out of his voice as he pointed at her neck. “Did he hurt you any where else?”

She stared at him for a moment before pulling up the robe to a more comfortable and less revealing position. Those eyes blazed with anger as she realized where Hawke's mind had gone. “Calm yourself!”

“Calm? He hurt you, I'm going to kill him.” Hawke's voice was dangerous and down right deadly as he regarded his sister.

There was a look of panic in her face when he said that and an almost lost look. “No!” She shook her head vehemently before she took a breath. “Fenris... Fenris did not lay his hands on me like that.”

Hawke stared back at his sister.

“If he had, do you think he would have left here unharmed?” Ava hissed at him.

He was startled by her words.

“You should know me better then that, Garrett.”

Ava went to close the door but Hawke put his hand up to stop it from closing. His eyes still glittered with anger as he shoved it open the rest of the way, and stepped into the room. Ava stepped back with a small squeak and Hawke looked around the room. Everything looked as it always did. A messy bed with the blankets thrown everywhere. A small fireplace to warm it. Then the glint of something dark and metal just under the edge of the bed caught his attention. He leaned to pick it up before she could stop him.

Holding it in his hand, he realized that it was part of Fenris' armour. One of the smaller parts that attached to his shoulder, it was usually under other pieces of armour. He stared at it for several moments before Ava snatched it from his hand and stepped back away from him.

He looked up at her with a wordless expression. His eyes having gone wide as he stared at his sister. Thoughts narrowed onto the single thing that had to have happened and he was somewhere between horror and rage.

“You will leave it be, Garrett.” Her eyes were completely serious but he could see the heart break in them.

“You're my sister, he shouldn't ha...”

“I asked him.” She said it flatly.

Hawke continued to stare at her. It was then that he realized that she was no longer the little girl from Lothering and probably had not been for some time. He looked at his hands instead of looking at her. He felt powerless to do anything to undo the hurt in her eyes and it felt like it was killing him. “You're still my sister... I should be... like breaking his legs or something for breaking your heart.”

“It broke his heart too...” There was a break in her voice as she spoke. She moved to sit on the bed and sighed. “Garrett... he started to remember things when we were... together.”

Hawke glanced up at her in surprise and mild horror. He did not want to think of them together but it was a bit of a surprise to hear that she had affected the elf that much. There was a frown on his face but he let her finish.

“So... please. Leave it be.” She looked up at him and he could see the tears forming in her eyes.

“Very well...” He said with a grimace. “But I can't promise I will treat him as I did before.”

“No, I don't expect that.” She said with another sigh. “But it's my fault and you shouldn't take that out on him.”

He rubbed his face as he listened to her words. She was being all too reasonable about what had just happened and it didn't sit right with him. He wanted to go and burn the Elf and his mansion to nothing but ashes but here she was, practically pleading on his behalf.

“I need a drink.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I'll tell Bodahn that you're not feeling well, and be sure to hide that so mother doesn't see it. She'll have a damn heart attack if she did.” He motioned to her neck.

Ava's eyes went wide at the mention of their mother.

“Oh, don't worry, I'm not going to tell her.” Hawke said with a quick shake of his head. “She'd kill me.”

“Thank you.” Ava said with some relief.

“Don't thank me just yet.” Hawke said with a steady glare at her. “You're not getting off that easy. Any time mother wants you to go with her to those little balls. You're going.”

“Garrett, that's not fair!” She managed, heat returning to her voice.

“Not fair? Would you rather me tell her that had sex with one of my companions and that he treated it like a one night stand?”

“He didn't...” She said before frowning at her brother. “You're right, she'd kill you. Then me.”

“Exactly.” Hawke said with a sigh. “So yeah, you're doing whatever mother wants you to do. Got it?”

She nodded and he turned on his heel to head out the door. He didn't stop to see if she said anything but he did close the door behind him. He saw Bodahn in the hallway and told the dwarf that Ava wasn't feeling well and would be in bed for the rest of the day. The skittish Orana was standing off in the corner and Hawke managed a comforting smile for her before he was out the door. It did not take long before he was at the Hanged Man. His original intention was to find some solace in the cheap alcohol but then he thought of Isabela, and for a moment, he considered following his sister's idea and taking some comfort in the arms of one of his companions. That idea, was squashed the moment he went in the door as he simply did not have the nerve.

It also helped that she was not at her usual place in the tavern. He sighed under his breath before ordering a pitcher and headed straight for Varric's door. The door was open and Varric seemed to be in a heated discussion with another dwarf. Hawke didn't think he knew the one standing there but he waited until Varric noticed him. The other dwarf glanced over at him and shot him a rather angry look before she skipped out the door and was gone.

“Not interrupting anything am I?” Hawke asked, his voice strained.

“Nothing important.” Varric said with a shrug before motioning for Hawke to sit down. “Something up? Because you look like you're ready to strangle someone.”

Hawke poured a drink before he tried to determine the words to share with his friend. Finally, he just said it plainly. “Fenris and Ava slept together.”

“Bout time.” Varric said with a small laugh before he noticed the look on Hawke's face. “Not good then?”

“Found her crying afterwards.”

There was a silence that hung in the air but finally, Varric spoke up.

“I know several places in Kirkwall where he'll never be found.”

“She made me swear to leave it alone.” Hawke took a long drink from his mug. “Twice.”

It had not quite been swearing an oath but he knew she would hold him to that as such. They were all stubborn as hell, the Hawkes, and she was no exception.

“Damn.” Varric said with a frown as he moved to pour himself a drink of the ale. “And did she say why she's keeping us from dispensing brotherly justice?”

Hawke took another drink, finishing off his mug in the that second drink before moving to pour up a second cup for himself. He did not tell Varric the truth and went with the more practical approach of some of what Ava had told him.“Apparently my sister is a romantic, and claims that it broke his heart too.”

Hawke looked over at his friend with a small grimace. “I still want to go and fry the pants off him.”

“Perhaps a bad choice of words but yeah, I don't blame you Hawke.” Varric said with a nod. “I'd probably want to do the same thing if I had any sisters and this happened.”

“Just wished I'd realized that there was something going on between the two of them, then maybe it wouldn't have gotten to the point of her getting hurt.”

“You... didn't notice?” Varric said, his voice a little wary.

“Notice what?”

“His eyes practically follow her on the battlefield.” Varric said as he edged a little bit away from his friend. “He stopped calling her Mage. Admittedly, he went to 'Woman' but that's still a step up when it comes to Fenris.”

“I thought he was just being over protective of her, like an older sibling.” Hawke said, his voice somewhere between anger and misery.

“Hawke... he's been glaring at Anders every time we have a game night,” Varric said, his face clearly showing wonder that Hawke had been so oblivious to what was going on in the background. “Especially when Anders kept sitting next to Ava.”

Hawke just leaned back and stared at the ceiling. How could he have been so dense not to notice the signs that something was going on. Anders had been kind to her but he knew that was completely platonic between the two, and had simply assumed the same with Fenris.

“Please tell me you realize that Isabela and Anders are into you, right?”

Varric's voice caused him to jerk forward and he was staring at the dwarf again.

“What?” Hawke shook his head quickly. “Well, yes, I'm aware that Isabela been flirting with me. She's been flirting with everyone, including Ava.”

“I don't think that's just flirting, Hawke.”

“Oh, maker.” Hawke felt like a fool. Not only had he been unaware of Fenris' growing affection for his sister, he had been unaware of Isabela's affections for him. He had already guessed with Anders but that was easier to understand. That was not going to bode well for the future.

“Look. I'm sure Fenris didn't really intend to hurt Ava.” Varric said, trying to be the voice of reason. “But if he did, then we make him regret every second he's made her cry.”

“Sounds like a plan.” Hawke said with a nod before he finished his second cup and went for a third. He did not want to think about this any more then he had to, and the mage set out to get himself good and drunk. “Just... don't let the others know.”

“Well, they won't hear a thing from me.” Varric said with a nod. “But we both know that Broody is anything but subtle.”

 


	16. Consequences for the Little Wolf

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Short chapter is reeeeeally short.

Fenris sat there in his mansion, drinking one of the bottles of wine that had been left over from when Danarius had commandeered the place from some merchant. Even drinking, it was hard not to think of her. He could not keep his thoughts going to the touch of her skin and the sound of her voice.

“Fenris!”

That was not the voice he had been thinking of.

He was shocked from his moping by the sound of Hawke's voice shouting from the lower floor. He grimaced as he got to his feet, knowing that this was not going to go well. He owed Hawke a lot and the man was generally quite forgiving but he doubted he would forgive him this.

He stomped into the room, those lyrium blue eyes blazing with anger as he regarded him. He didn't say anything at first but he could see the murderous anger in his eyes. It was clear that Hawke knew so Fenris saw no point in bringing it up.

“Yes, Hawke?” He managed, his voice cool and calm. “Is there something you needed?” He could not keep his voice from cracking on the last word but he was making a good pretence of lying to himself that this was the way things should go. If both Hawke and Ava hated him, it would be far easier to deal with things. Then he only had to do his little missions with them until the moment he had his revenge on Danarius and then he would leave behind this city and the lyrium blue eyes.

Hawke just stared at him with that enraged look. Still, he did not speak. That silence hung heavy on him but Fenris did not say anything else either, waiting for him to say something. He knew where Hawke was looking, that purple ribbon wrapped firmly around his wrist like a badge of honour. Fenris would not deny his feelings for Ava, he just would not encourage her to return them any longer.

“I'm going after slavers. Ava is coming along.”

He froze as he stared at Hawke. He knew that Ava was just as capable as the rest of them, and he had faith in what she'd been practising since they met, but he found himself not liking the idea of her being out there and fighting. He did not even think about it as he came to the decision that he would be there to protect her. They could hate him but he would not let her come to harm.

“I will accompany you.” Fenris said as he got up.

“No.” Hawke's voice was still angry. “Not this time.”

Fenris could not keep the scowl off his face as he regarded his friend. His hand tensed on the bottle and he could feel the glass cracking beneath his fingers. “Very well.”

Hawke turned around to leave but stopped at the door, his eyes shooting daggers back at him. “The next time... keep it in your damn pants.”

Hawke was out the door and down the stairs but he still could not help the rage that boiled up inside him. The bottle was tossed full force at the wall before he slumped back into his chair. His thoughts going back to Ava but it was no longer the honeyed memories of their night together. Now he was thinking of her fighting out there with the others and he found himself terrified of what would happen to her.

He covered his face with his hands and tried hard not to think of her pale skin. He hated himself for hurting her and for being terrified of losing what he had just chased away.

 


	17. Ava's Consequences

_She didn't know this place. It was somewhere new but there was a small sense of familiarity to it._

_Tall buildings rose around her, made of intricate stone with details that were the work of masters. There were statues everywhere, towering over the city and looking almost frightful. She was certain she had seen statues like that before._

“ _Varania!” The voice was boyish but there was no mistaking that gravelly tone._

“ _Fenris?” Ava questioned as she turned to see a teenaged elvhen man running towards her. His hair was black, almost darker then Garrett's but those eyes were clear. They were free of the torment she knew but they were his eyes. This was Fenris as a young man._

“ _Leto!” Another elf was trying to catch up to him, she looked just a little younger but she had the same coloured eyes. Her hair was an almost tomato red._

“ _Hurry!” He called after her. “We only have a short amount of time before the Master returns.”_

_Ava stared as he almost seemed to be happy. No, he was happy. She could actually feel it. He was happy and excited._

_Then he walked into her and the dream shifted._

_The room was well lit up and the dark haired Leto was chained in the centre of the room. Men stood nearby but she was focused intently on the elf. One man approached him, a wicked looking knife in his hand. Even from where she stood, she could see the faint pulse of lyrium on the knife._

“ _Oh Maker...” She gasped, taking a step back from the scene that was unfolding. A thousand different emotions worked their way through her but fear was the main one._

_The knife was dragged across the elf's skin and he started to scream. She recognized him calling for his mother even as he begged them to stop. She felt the pain lace across her skin like something was being dragged painfully across her skin, not enough to equal what being marked with lyrium would be like but enough that she got just a brief taste of it._

“ _Stop!” Ava shouted and tried to slam on the man's back. She passed through him like he was made of nothing more then smoke. She stumbled and fell to the floor._

_Once more she was to her feet, just trying to think of something to stop this. She had to help him, some how. No matter what she tried to touch, her hands would pass right through it. Like nothing was real. Still, she could hear Leto screaming in Fenris' voice and it felt like it was tearing her heart out each time._

_She was forced to watch as they all surrounded him with knives, needles and Maker knows what else. She could see the shock the lyrium had to his system as his dark hair lightened to the point of freshly fallen snow._

_It seemed like an eternity before he stopped screaming. The men all moved away, leaving her standing there with the unconscious elf._

“ _I'm sorry.” She said as she edged closer, hovering her fingers close to his face. She wanted to comfort him even if it wasn't real._

_His eyes snapped open,his eyes almost hostile as he glared in her direction. She gave a small shriek when she felt his hand snap on her wrist._

He is only an animal. Like a wolf.

_His eyes met her's and she knew he was looking at her._

“ _Fenris!” She shouted even as his lyrium markings began to glow._

A beast. Nothing more.

_She felt pain flashing across her wrist, he was gripping her too tight. Hard enough to bruise._

“ _Fenris, you're hurting me!”_

_Those eyes blinked at her even as he seemed to be warring with himself._

  
  


“Mistress!” The panicked voice roused her from her sleep.

Ava was a bit surprised to find herself on the floor, her blankets wrapped firmly around her body with her legs still positioned in the bed.

She cast a glance at the tiny voice that had spoken and she frowned when she saw the woman. She had no idea who the elf was that was standing in her doorway with a rather frightened look.

“Uh... hi?” Ava managed as she tried to untangle herself.

“You were screaming.” The elf looked skittish but made no move to get any closer. “Master Hawke told me that I was to help you and Mistress Leandra in anything you needed.”

“I... what?” Ava just gave up and rolled herself off the bed. She could feel sweat clinging to the back of her neck but she had gotten used to nightmares. Her heart would calm soon enough, she knew that, yet she was still having problems with just breathing. Especially not when the elven woman before her looked utterly terrified.

“Master Hawke.” The woman said, bobbing her head and beginning to wring her hands. “Oh please say you're not angry for me waking you, Mistress.”

“No no. I'm not angry.” Ava said with a sympathetic smile as she just laid there to catch her breath. It was strange, having the elf looking so panicky even when Ava was laying on the floor. “Normally Mal wakes me when I'm having a bad dream, he's pretty good at guessing when I'm having one.”

“Mal?” The elf questioned. “Should I fetch Master Mal?'

“Mal is the dog.” Ava said as she arched up to a sitting position and managed to pull an arm free of her blankets. “What's your name?”

“Orana, Mistress.” The elf still looked petrified.

“How about just calling me Ava?” Ava asked as she wiggled another arm free.

“Ava?” There was still a bit of panic. “I couldn't do that, Mistress.”

“Ava. Not Mistress.” Ava made a small face as she continued to work the blankets off her legs. “I'm not a noble and you're not a slave.”

“Hawke saved me from my last Mistress, she killed papa.”

Ava froze and looked up at the elf. She had no idea what or where Garrett had managed to find this woman but now she understood why the woman was here. Whomever she was, Garrett had rescued her from possibly meeting the same fate as her papa.

“Well, you don't have to worry.” Ava said with confidence. “Both Garrett – Hawke and I won't let anything happen to you here.”

“Yes, Mistress.” The woman did not look any more relieved.

Ava sighed before she pulled the rest of the blanket off her legs. She stopped as she stared at the bruise forming on her wrist. It was clear. Fingers, and a thumb. Exactly where Fenris had grabbed her in the dream.

Orana gasped and Ava looked up at her with a shake of her head.

“It's nothing, Orana.”

“Did he hurt you like that?” Her voice was a little squeak.

“What? Maker no. Fenris didn't hurt me.” Ava shook her head quickly as she put the blanket back on the bed, suddenly realizing that everyone in the house may have heard the two of them last night. She just hoped her mother hadn't been home for that. “That's not from Fenris.”

She tried to smile and cat calmly for the poor elf but on the inside, Ava was freaking out. Never before had something from the dreams ever come through to the real world. It had always just been a dream.

“Is my brother or mother still here?” Ava asked as she straightened up her bed.

“No, Mistress Leandra went to the market and Master Hawke went out with some of his friends.”

“Alright... if Garrett – Hawke gets in before I'm home, can you tell him I went to see Merrill?”

“I can, Mistress.” Orana nodded.

“Thank you.” Ava grimaced as she hastily shoved on her clothing and headed for the Alienage.

  
  


“Ava?” Merrill questioned as she opened the door.

“Hi Merrill, I need to talk.” Ava had her head down, just staring mostly at her feet. Trying not to look at that damnable tree. She had clung to the wall as she'd come into the Alienage which got her a few stares and whispers, she was sure, but it was easier then seeing the tree.

“Oh, of course.” Merrill said as she pushed open the door. “Come in. Oh it's such a mess. You, Carver and Hawke, always showing up whenever there is a mess.”

“It's not that... Carver?” Ava flicked her gaze up once they were inside the house. “Carver comes to visit you?”

“Sometimes. Not as much since he left but he still writes me.” Merrill blushed all the way to her ear tips. “Not that often but...”

“It's okay, Merrill.” Ava said with a small smile. “I just didn't know he came to visit you is all.”

“He does. He's still worried about you but you haven't been home when he's gone to visit.” Merrill said simply as she led the way to a set of chairs. “He told me to keep an eye on you.”

Ava chuckled a little before she grew serious.

“Merrill... remember how I told you about my dreams before?” Ava started.

“Yes? Have you been dreaming about other things again?” Merrill asked, becoming curious and a little more animated.

“The dreams never stop.” Ava said with a shrug. “But that's not what I'm here about. Is... is it possible for things that happen in dreams to transfer over to the real world?”

“What?” Merrill looked at her in surprise and for once, she was almost silent.

“Look.” Ava said as she pulled up her sleeve to show the bruise. She couldn't help but shift uncomfortably when the other woman examined her bruise quite intently. It was like drawing attention to it made Ava feel even worse about it.

“Oh, dear...” Merrill leaned closer and took Ava's arm, turning it gently as she looked over the hand print bruise. “You should put something on that. What were you dreaming about? It doesn't seem pleasant if that is what it's from.”

“I was watching someone get...” She remembered the dream vividly but knew that wasn't her thing to mention. “Tortured. I couldn't stop it but then at the end, the victim noticed me and grabbed my arm.”

“Did it look like a dream?” Merrill asked, almost clinically as she let go of the arm. “Or was it different?”

“What do you mean, different?”

“Well... in a normal dream, it's not fully everything?” Merrill said with some hesitation. “Like, not always all the senses, or something is a little off to make it just a little bit fantastic. Like flowers growing out of fire, oooh or of one where you're flying.”

“Merrill, I don't think I've ever had a _normal_ dream.”

“Was it different then your not-normal ones then?”

Ava paused for a moment as she thought about it. She remembered the emotions, the feelings that weren't her's. It definitely was not like the usual dreams.

“It was.” She shivered. “I think... I think I felt what the victim was feeling. Like it was their dream and I was just living what they were feeling.... but it also wasn't from their point of view, I was watching what happened and not experiencing it.”

“I think...” Merrill paused, tapping her fingers lightly on her table as she thought about it. “I think you shared in what a spirit saw. People make friends with spirits but if you're dreaming of things, you might have made a strong connection with one and seen what it saw.”

“But how does that translate to getting injured in my dream?”

“It's dangerous with spirits.” Merrill said softly. “Especially if it's something really traumatic. They can show things to you that might affect you in the waking world.”

“That... doesn't really explain anything, Merrill.”

“It would be so much easier if you were trained by a Keeper.” Merrill said quickly. “It's a lot of things that human circles don't teach because you don't deal with spirits at all.”

“No, they tend to avoid them altogether.” Ava sighed. “And your Keeper isn't fond of spirits either.”

“No but she does teach us how to watch out for them, and about what they want.” Merrill nodded. “All magic users are targeted by spirits so perhaps this was just another spirit trying to get you into letting them cross over?”

“By bruising my arm?” Ava said as she slid the sleeve back down.

“Maybe it's not a very bright spirit?” Merrill suggested.

“That's not much help, Merrill.” Ava sighed.

“Sorry, I wish I was more help.”

“It's alright.” Ava smiled at her. “How about you tell me about these visits from Carver.”

Ava let the woman speak as she simply did not want to have Merrill focusing on the reason she had come here. There were no answers to be had and she knew that if she distracted Merrill enough, she wouldn't tell Garrett about it or at least that's what she hoped anyway. 

 


	18. Protector in the Dark

It was a crisp night when Fenris decided he could bear not seeing her no longer, Hawke had been limiting how much interaction Ava had with him, they were almost never together after their night together. Doubt and paranoia began to work their way into his mind. Something could happen to her if he wasn't there. The plan he had to leave Kirkwall had long faded from his mind and there were only two driving forces for his decision making. Her and Danarius.

He wandered through High town and found himself at the Hawke Mansion. Her voice rose within, a happy laugh greeting his ears. He licked his lips nervously as he walked across the plaza with only a corner to turn before he was at the front door. An apology rolled through his mind as he thought how to best explain everything to her. He stopped just as he turned the corner.

Someone else stood at the door. A human male with a smile and flowers in his hand. The man was young with sandy brown hair and dirt brown eyes but his outfit marked him as one of the noble born sons. Fenris darted down into the nearby alleyway and flattened himself against the wall to watch even as he felt a sense of dread sink into his belly. It was a twisting thing as it bit and clawed it's way through him.

The man knocked and Fenris watched as the door opened to reveal Bodahn standing there. The dwarf eyed the man for a moment before motioning for him to wait there. “Lady Ava will be along in a moment.”

Fenris felt sick, despite knowing he had no right to feel anything in that moment. She had been chased away by his actions. He wanted to turn and run back to his mansion, yet, he could not pull himself away as he waited to see her. He had to see her. His green eyes searching for some sign of her in that door.

His breath caught in his throat when he saw her there in the doorway. The outfit was a far cry from her usual battle gear and looked more like the kind of thing someone of high status should wear. The bodice was tailor made to her shape, those perfect breasts held aloft by rigid material while it left her shoulders and collarbone tantalizingly bare. The rest of it clung to her shape, a tight thing along her waist before gracing those hips and flaring out as it came down. It was no ball gown but it was pretty enough, especially since it was on _her_. Her hair was done up in a fancy braid and coiled at the back of her head.

He preferred her hair loose and about her shoulders but he had to admit that she was beautiful in the dim light of the torches and the moon. That ache settled back in as he stared at her from across the little plaza.

“Why Lord Thiel, are those for me?”

Ava's voice was clear and had the hint of a laugh to it. Fenris' fists tightened as he watched her standing there with the young nobleman. The young man obscured his view of her but he had that one glimpse and knew full well what she was wearing, that she had dressed up to see this noble man.

“Yes, Lady A.A.Ava.” He stammered and handed her the flowers.

Ava took them but passed them within the house to someone within – he guessed either Orana or Bodahn – before she stepped fully out into the night air and Fenris couldn't help himself, he continued to watch. He glanced up to the upper window and saw Hawke peering down at the two of them at the door and it seemed that Fenris was not the only one who was not happy with this.

“Thank you.” She smiled at him.

Fenris thought he could not handle seeing her smile at this simpering fool but then he realized it. That smile was not like her other ones, the ones she had for the rest of Hawke's companions and definitely not the one she had for him. The smile she wore could seem genuine enough but her truly happy smiles were broad and shining. The kind that made you want to smile with her. This smile was none of those things. It was friendly but hardly the warm inviting smiles he knew she was capable of.

The man went to take Ava's arm and Fenris hissed in annoyance that this man would be so forward to just insist instead of politely offering.

He followed as they walked off towards another mansion on the other end of High Town. He made sure to stay just enough behind them that they would not discover his presence but close enough that he would not lose them in the winding streets. This mansion that was lavish and well lit, the sounds of music and dancing echoing from within. It was surprising that there were no guards out here, and he wondered if these nobles honestly thought they were safe here in High Town?

Fenris watched her walk in but he could not leave. He had to stay and ensure... he wasn't sure what he had to ensure but he knew he could not go home until she had returned to Hawke's mansion. He settled himself to wait for her evening with the nobleman to finish. Part of him believed he was being silly and that he should push every thought of her from his mind but he could not do it.

The night went on and he felt himself dozing by the time she came back out of the mansion. The moment she was in the cool night air, that fake smile faded and he could see that she was tired. Her face was drawn and those eyebrows were furrowed. The more he looked, the more he could see. She had not enjoyed this evening, a faint look of annoyance playing over her features as she breathed in the cool night air.

The good lord Thiel came out soon after and that fake smile was back on her face. Ava turned to look at the young lord and spoke to him.

“Thank you, Lord Thiel for your offer but I must politely decline.”

Fenris could see the tension in her shoulders and wondered exactly what the offer had been.

“But Lady Ava,” The young lord sounded drunk. “I've heard that you like to adventure.”

“Well, yes. My brother did go into the Deep Roads. One could say it runs in the blood.”

“How about an adventure into my bed?” There was a loud hiccough after he said it.

It was a terrible line and Fenris felt almost insulted. How dare this man speak to her that way? He wanted to run over there and intervene but Ava just stared at the young noble for several minutes. Even from the distance, Fenris could see the ire raising in that one look before she calmly responded.

“I think you've had enough to drink for the night, Lord Thiel.”

“I think you're playin' hard to get.” The lord leaned in, grabbing Ava's shoulders as he tried to plant a kiss on her face.

“Lord Thiel!” Ava's voice was one part insulted, one part angry and one part disgusted. Her head angling away from the lord as he leaned in to try to kiss her.

An angry scowl formed on Fenris' face as he saw the actions of the noble born. He darted a few steps forward but stopped short of stepping out of the alleyway when he saw that she was more then capable of taking care of herself.

Ava had shoved the lord who stumbled backwards and fell to his rear. She had a look on her face that was almost murderous as she looked down at him. It brought Fenris no small amount of pleasure to realize she had no interest in this noble and his attitude was clearly not something she was going to accept.

Ava offered a hand to help him up but he seemed to ignore her and got to his feet. She had her features schooled back into that fake smile but the lord had a disgusted look at her.

“Oh, it's no secret that you're loose with your affections,” The drunk noble sneered at her. “Always hanging around Low Town and running around the riff raff, like those knife ears and that half-man.”

There were no words to express the satisfaction Fenris felt when he watched Ava land a solid shot to the Lord's face. She may have been a mage but she was not raised in the lap of luxury like the nobles of Kirkwall had been. A typical farmer's upbringing meant that Ava was far stronger then the usual mage. The hit caused the nobleman to stagger backwards and fall to his feet.

“Do not come calling to my house again, Lord Thiel.” Her voice was dangerous as she turned on her feet and strode down the street away from the mansion and the little party. The sound of it sent a shiver up Fenris' spine but he forced his mind away from that sensation.

Fenris kept his face set in a stoney glare as he stepped out of the shadows. The noble man looked like he was ready to stalk after the young Hawke, his hand on the hilt of his sword.

“That would be most unwise.” Fenris' voice was low but he did not put any hands on the young man. He merely let his lyrium marks glow as he looked at the man.

The nobleman whirled to look at Fenris, the building retort died on Thiel's lips as he looked at the elf. Everything about Fenris gave the impression of danger. From the slightly spiked armour to the glowing lyrium marks over his skin. The glare he fixed the nobleman probably did not help the man's courage any.

“As the Lady stated,” Fenris said. “Do not come calling again.”

The man stumbled backwards away from him and Fenris was fine with that. He had no intention of pursuing the issue with the man unless he decided to do something stupid. He turned on his heel and strode off in the direction that Ava had taken. The first few steps had a wary attention to the area behind him in case the man decided to follow but there was only silence.

It did not take him long to catch up to Ava who looked indecisively down the streets. Hawke had always taken a more direct route when they went on missions, and it was not like she went anywhere in High Town besides the obvious landmarks. This area was unfamiliar to her and he could easily tell that.

Gazing at her, her cheeks still flushed in indignation at the presumptions of the young lord. His eyes practically raking over that outfit as his thoughts went to undressing her and leaving that pretty cloth in a pile on his floor but it was always her eyes that his mind went to. Those blue, almost lyrium, coloured eyes that had looked at him with emotion.

_Those eyes._

He forced his thoughts from those images of her. She wasn't his, he'd already seen to that and it wasn't right of him to think of her like that.

“Ava.” He called as he stepped out of the shadows.

She whirled, relief instant in those lyrium blue eyes as she recognized him. There was a soft wordless breath before she smiled at him. It was his smile. The one she only wore when she saw him. It warmed his heart to know she could still smile at him like that despite his chasing her away.

“Fenris!” She took a step in his direction but halted, indecision clear on her face. “What are you doing out here?”

“Late night stroll,” He said. It was not quite a lie, he had been out walking after all. He just did not need to tell her that he had been following her while he was walking. “You look nice.”

“Oh...” Her cheeks flushed even more red and that confidence she had while with the nobleman seemed to flee in the face of his compliment. “Thanks. Mother wanted me to dress up for an outing with some nobles.”

“Is that why you are out at this hour?”

“Yes,” She said as she looked between the streets. “My... companion..” She said the word with a mix of annoyance and disgust. “Was supposed to walk me home but we had some... minor differences.”

He acted like he did know the commentary that she had just had with the young noble and merely nodded. He motioned towards one of the streets before speaking. “That way.”

She glanced down it before smiling over at him. “Thank you.”

She started walking and he felt himself falling into step just behind her. It was how he always walked with her and Hawke, always just right behind them. He was comfortable walking like that but she noticed and her pace slowed just enough so that they were walking side by side. He did not look over at her as they walked.

There was an uncomfortable silence as they walked and he could not bear that silence between them, even though he knew it was his fault.

“You do not come for training lately.” He finally said.

“Mother doesn't want me to.” Her voice was a little distant as she said it and she did not look towards him as she usually did.

“I see.” He looked awkwardly away from her, not saying anything as they walked.

“I do plan on going again... if you're okay with that.”

“I am more then fine with you training with me.” He glanced over at her, memorizing the little contours of her face for that brief moment.

“Then I'll have to endeavour to sneak out then,” She turned to look at him, that smile back on her face.

That look had him aching to lean in to kiss her but that would have them back where they were before and he could not do that to her. Not again.

He broke the look first, turning his head to look away from her. Once more, silence hung in the air but he could think of nothing to say to her. What could someone say to the woman they loved after they had chased them away?

_Love?_

Yes, he supposed he did love her. If things were different, he could be what she deserved, but things weren't different. Still, he wanted to keep her safe, both in battle and from his own cowardice.

He stole a glance towards her but she was not looking in his direction any longer. The smile had faded, and in it's face was a sad and almost wistful kind of look. That ache settled in again as he looked at her. He stopped as they walked into the plaza just before Hawke's mansion.

“You should be fine from here.” He said as he flicked a glance over the plaza to ensure that there were no threats ahead for her to deal on her own. Hawke had cleared out many of the thugs that lurked at night in various places in Kirkwall, and High Town was no exception.

She took a few steps from him but stopped with a look of indecisiveness turned in his direction. “Fenris... I...”

“It was no trouble, Ava.” He said, smiling at her. “I did say any time you needed to walk home, I would be willing.”

The look on her face clearly said that she had intended to say something other then a thanks but he dared not let things travel down that path. It was better to act calm and cool rather then to give her the hope that there was still something more then that there.

“Then, thank you.” She said, her face suddenly becoming very blank. “I will see you tomorrow then?”

“Tomorrow?” He asked with a startled look.

“Yes, for training.” She turned and darted to the door of the house.

There was a faint smile on his lips as he watched her go. They may not be the thing they both wanted but at least he would see her again.

 


	19. Night Terrors

When he received word that the dreamer he had rescued over a year ago needed his help, he had done as asked and arrived at the alienage. There, he was told he was going into the fade. So of course, Garrett knew who he was taking.

Ava had been enthusiastic about going, a little too enthusiastic but then he could hardly blame her. He'd been avoiding taking her out over the last few months simply because their mother had been applying more pressure to him to keep his sister safe but she was a logical choice. She was a mage. Who better to step into the fade then a mage.

Anders had been the next logical choice, the man seemed hesitant about the idea but Garrett knew exactly how to push Ander's buttons to get him to agree. One little puppy dog look and Anders was on the team.

Then came Merrill. The last mage out of all of them. He had gone there to ask her to assist him in journeying to the fade but Merrill wasn't home. The only place he could think of was that perhaps she was speaking with Varric. A few questions, and some ale later, Garrett learned that Merrill was off helping a particular templar. Apparently, she had been keeping in contact with Carver.

He shouldn't have been surprised but now he had a problem. Out of all his friends, there was only one other logical choice to take with him to go into the fade.

Fenris' lyrium brands did make him a little bit more potent then the rest of his companions who relied mostly on physical combat. The irritating part was that it was now a group of him, Anders, Fenris and Ava that were going to step into the fade.

It was not even remotely a good arrangement. Things went south immediately when Justice showed up instead of Anders. The spirit kept Ander's appearance, just with all the blue glowy parts and that weird distorted version of his voice. The appearance of the spirit bothered him far more then he thought it would. He'd have to talk to Anders about that later. Hopefully there was a later.

Then came the first demon, offering to bargain with him in exchange for Feynriel. He didn't even bother bartering with it when he had three pairs of eyes glaring at him. Seemed all three of his companions really didn't like that idea. Not that he blamed them but, Maker's breath, people needed to have a little more faith in him then that. He was a mage after all.

The second demon, however, was the one that brought the first problem. It had taken the guise of the boy's mother but they all knew that Feynriel had never met the man. Garrett managed to convince Feynriel that this was wrong and that it wasn't his father, only to watch as the demon shifted into it's true form – a desire demon – and for Feynriel to run off.

“You! You turned him against me.” It sounded angry.

“And now you're going to die.” Garrett said simply.

“Take away my pets, and I'll take away yours. How loyal are these friends you drag into the Fade?” Her voice was like a song on the senses. That allure of desire distinct as she spoke.

“Pretty damn loyal.” Garrett said with a shake of his head even as he readjusted his staff in his hands.

“Would your little sister do to have the whispers stop?” The desire demon approached Ava with a sway of her hips.

Garrett looked at Ava with a startled look. “Ava? What?” He had no idea what the desire demon was referring to but it was telling the truth, or at least partially anyway. That's what they did, they offered the most desired thing. He had expected the desire demon to perhaps offer power to Fenris or perhaps offer Fenris to Ava but whispers? That was something he was completely unaware of.

“No more whispers, no more bad dreams.” The desire demon crooned at Ava. “All of it gone. Nothing to hint that it ever was, not in dreaming or waking..”

“What? So you can ride me like a pony out of here?” Ava quipped back before shaking her head. “I've dealt with worse then you for a long time. Try harder.”

The demon seemed a little flustered and Garrett gave a small grin before the battle was joined. He was still confused over what it had been referring to but right now was not the time. Magic crashed against the demon and Fenris' blade arched easily through the air. As quickly as it started, the fight was finished and they all stood for a moment to catch their breathes.

“When we're out of here, you're explaining that.” Garrett said to his sister.

“Sure.” Ava said with a small shrug of her shoulders but not looking him in the eye. Of course, she was taking severe pains not to look at any of them as all three of them; him, Justice and Fenris were mildly staring at her. “Can we get a move on? We've got a person to save.”

Garrett sighed but led the way out. The third demon hid itself as Keeper Marethari, and was heralding Feynriel like he was some saviour of the elves. It was almost ridiculous.

Once more, Garrett made the boy see that this was a trick of the fade and the demon shifted into it's true form as a Pride demon. It whined over the loss of the dreamer but Garrett stood his ground as it spoke to him about how Feynriel would have changed the world with his power added.

“There can be no honest deal with a demon.” Garrett said flatly.

“No? You think I will lie, then, when I offer your friends what Feynriel turned down?” The demon questioned. “You think this slave would choose you over his freedom?”

“Cast your eyes elsewhere, demon. I won my freedom from the magisters long ago.” Fenris was almost angry as he spoke.

“But you fear them still. They have left their marks on your body and your mind.” The demon wormed it's way into the secret desires of the warrior. Strange, given that it was a demon of Pride and not desire but then, it's next remark was clearly going for Fenris' ego. “With my aid, you could be free forever. You could have power enough to challenge any who would chain you.”

“How transparent can you get?” Garrett said with a shrug of his shoulders as he looked over at Fenris. Even as he said it, he could see the resolve slipping in Fenris' eyes.

“But... to face them as an equal? I...” He turned from Garrett to look at the demon. “What... would you want from me?”

“What the shit, Fenris?” Ava's words were sharp but drowned out as the demon spoke.

“A moment of your time, nothing more.” The demon responded even as things shifted.

Fenris turned towards them and pulled his sword free before he moved in to attack. That swing went right for Ava but Justice managed to send him flying back with a well timed blast of magic. She danced out of range of Fenris, placing herself on the opposite side of the battle from him. Garrett did not like this, fighting the elf but he knew it had to be done. First him, then the demon. They had to take them both out.

Thank the maker for Justice or it would have been just him and Ava facing down whatever came next.

“Ava... I'm...” Garrett started as she moved towards Fenris' body.

“He has returned to the realm of waking.” Justice said as Fenris' body disappeared into the fade. “Come, the dreamer awaits.”

Ava was silent for the rest of the trip through the fade, just with a distant look in her eyes. No doubt it must have felt like a double hit for her. Having the desire demon reveal something she had kept secret and then to have Fenris betray them like that.

Thankfully, they didn't have much further to go before they met with Feynriel who was pacing back and forth in the main hall they had entered.

“I'm not sure if this is real.” He said, his voice hesitant. “If so, it is the second time I owe you my life. The Fade feels different now. I see the stitches, the seams holding it together. I feel I could wake at any moment.”

“Dreamers control the Fade and the dreams of people in it.” Garrett said.

“I see why the Chantry fears us. I've heard tales of magisters who stalked their enemies and used their dreams to destroy them.” Feynriel said, clearly understanding what he was capable of. “You're right. I must master it, find someone to study under. The Dalish do not have what I need.”

Feynriel paused, thinking over his options. “Perhaps Tevinter. If these powers can be trained, it would be there. My mother would not look kindly on such a journey. Can you give her my farewell?”

“May the maker guide your path, Feynriel.” Garrett said with a nod.

“Perhaps... there is a way out of this.” Feynriel said thoughtfully before he turned away and raised his hand, the Fade becoming transmutable beneath him. “I can do this.”

Everything went white and Garrett came awake in the Alienage. Everyone was awake and fine, from Anders who looked a little disturbed to Fenris who had an unreadable expression on his face. Only Ava looked calm.

Garrett turned from the three of them to speak with Marethari and Feynriel's mother but his thoughts were still going back to what the demon had said to Ava. He reassured the fears of the elven woman but passed on the goodbye before he turned away from the two elves. He would let them deal with that.

“I... need to go.” Fenris said simply and turned away from them. He was quickly gone from the Alienage. There wasn't even the hint of a good bye as the elf took off like the demon was chasing him back to High Town.

“We need to talk.” Garrett said as he fixed his sister with a direct look.

“I would like to hear this as well.” Anders said even as he rubbed his shoulders, clearly unsettled by the experience in the fade.

“Oi...” Ava said with a sigh. “Alright... but somewhere other then here?”

“Clinic?” Garrett asked Anders who nodded.

The three of them trekked in silence but there was a brief moment where Garrett lightly touched Anders' shoulder with a questioning look. The other man gave him a small smile of reassurance but said nothing. It made Garrett regret taking Anders into the fade, having not realized that Justice would supersede the man.

Finally, they were at the clinic and Anders led them into the backroom where no one would hear the conversation.

“Alright, what exactly was the demon referring to?” He asked Ava with an accusing tone.

“Well...” Ava sucked in a breath of air as she moved to sit down in the only chair. “You know my nightmares?”

“Yes, I remember you having bad ones when you were younger.” Garrett said with a nod.

“Yeah, those... well they never stopped.” Ava fidgeted lightly with the edge of her sleeve. “Only time I don't have them is after we're out fighting, usually. Otherwise, I dream of lots of stuff.”

“And the whispers?”

“That... that's more recent. It started just before we left Lothering. It stopped for a little while but it's started again. A lot lower and I can't really hear it.”

“When... when did the whispers stop?” Anders asked, his voice surprisingly calm.

“Uh... about a year after we got here.” Ava said, trying to think about it. “Before Garrett went into the Deep Roads but yeah, roughly a year, why?”

“Thought there was a connection to something but looks like I was wrong.” Anders said before glancing over at Garrett with a small shrug.

“So, are these nightmares dealing with a demon?” Garrett prompted.

“Nope.” Ava said with a small laugh. “It's gonna sound nuts but the nightmares with the demons are actually nicer. Mind you, they're trying to convince me to give myself up to them but it's like they're only barely muting what is happening. They're laughable really.”

“Alright.” Garrett rubbed the bridge of his nose in irritation. “You should have told me or someone.”

“Carver knew. So did Dad. Bethy just laughed it off like I was joking so I didn't think I should tell you either.” Ava said with a shrug. “Can I go now?”

“I'll walk you home.” Garrett said as he got up.

“I'll be fine.” Ava said gruffly before she stalked off.

“Garrett, let her go. I need to talk to you for a moment.” Anders said as he put a hand on Garrett's shoulder.

Garrett sighed for a moment before turning to look at the other man.

“Are you alright, Anders?” Garrett asked softly. “If I had known that Justice was going to take over like that, I never would have made you come with us.”

“No harm done.” Anders said with a smile before he sobered up. “A little weird feeling and I'm never doing it again but that's not what I wanted to talk to you about.”

“Oh?” Garrett asked, quirking an eyebrow at the other man.

“Your sister said she stopped hearing the whispers temporarily around the time you went into the Deep Roads?” Anders said. “That's nine thirty one Dragon.”

“So?” Garrett said, not getting the connection.

“That's when the Archdemon was slain.”

Garrett stared at him rather blankly. “That's just a coincidence.”

“I wasn't made a Grey Warden until after that but the Hero of Ferelden told me that they could hear the Archdemon, and that whispering stopped when they killed it. They could still sense the other darkspawn but the noise of the Archdemon stopped.”

“So what, you're implying that my sister is a Grey Warden? Or a darkspawn?” Garrett couldn't keep his voice from raising a little.

“No. Nothing of the sort.” Anders said, almost apologetically. “Just that she may have heard the Archdemon. Justice believes she may be sensitive to spirits and could have been picking up on it from them.”

“I... I'm not sure really.” Garrett made a face as he thought about it. “She never really talked to me about her abilities or even really tried to do magic. It wasn't until after... until after Bethany died that she actively started trying to do things.”

“You mean,” Anders paused, looking at Garrett with a sceptical look. “Your sister repressed her magic for years, only learning enough to keep it contained and hidden?”

“Yes.” Garrett felt a little embarrassed by the thought. “She cried for days when she first used her magic.”

“Damn... imagine what your sister would be capable of if she had actually trained.” Anders sounded almost impressed.

“I don't need you encouraging her. It's bad enough that she goes to Fenris for lessons on how to use a blade.” Garrett said with a sigh.

Anders looked like he was about to say something but bit back his comment.

“That better not have been something dirty.” Garrett said with a glare. “I don't really need that kind of commentary after today.”

Anders walked over to him and slid his arms around him. “Sorry.” He leaned his head against Garrett's shoulder. “You did good. You saved Feynriel.”

“I know, it's just.” Garrett sighed and wrapped his own arms around Anders, holding him close. “Having one friend get tricked by a demon, another having his body taken over by a spirit and then having the suspicion that my sister is hearing darkspawn. Not a good day.”

Anders laughed before he spoke. “Well, when you put it like that. At least she's handy against demons?”

“Not helping.”

Anders' laugh echoed in the clinic and Garrett just closed his eyes to savour the moment.

 


	20. Regrets

****

It had taken her most of the day to gather up the courage to go to Fenris' mansion. She remembered what the demon had offered in the fade, and how he had been willing to take the creature's offer.

She had never thought of such a thing before but the hurt. Maker help her, that had hurt more then she thought it would. Even with her there, he had been willing to throw everything away for the simple chance of getting revenge against the magisters. It made it clear where she fit in his little world.

Still, she had wanted to go talk to him and found herself in front of the door to his mansion. She had been standing there for Maker knows how long, she simply could not bring herself to go in. There was just no idea on how to talk to him after that.

Sighing, Ava rested her head against the door for a brief moment before she turned.

Fenris was standing in front of her with an almost distant look on his face. There was still that fierce look in eyes but he looked detached, like he was still thinking over what had happened.

“Ava?” He questioned and she flattened herself against the door. “Why are you here?”

“I... no reason.” She stumbled over the words.

He quirked an eyebrow at her and she almost melted into a puddle then and there. That simple little facial movement spoke a lot more about him then he let on.

“I should be going.” She managed to cough out before leaning forward to start walking, sliding off the door.

“Wait.” Fenris caught her arm before she could go past him, tight enough that she was halted in her steps but not enough to actually hurt. “We need to talk.”

“About what?” Ava asked.

“About what was said in the Fade.” Fenris' voice dropped down low.

“What was said or how you served us up on a silver platter?” The words were said before she had time to think of it. Her courage to talk had fled and in it was only anger at what had happened in the fade.

There was a faint flinch in Fenris' face, just a little twitch in his cheek but it was clear that her words had hurt him or perhaps he regretted the decision that led to her being a little bit crueler then she would be normally.

“Ava, please.” Fenris motioned towards the door.

“Fine, you have five minutes.” Her courage to talk to him had fled but she really did not want to deny him at least the ability to defend himself or to ask his questions. She owed him that much at least.

She let him lead her into the mansion but she made no effort to go up the stairs to his rooms. Whatever he said, could be said within the small alcove just inside the door.

Fenris stopped when it became clear that she was not going to go any further.

“I - ” He paused. “I have been thinking about what happened in the Fade.”

Ava waited, just eyeing him as he spoke.

“That a demon could have played so easily on my fears.... disturbs me.” Fenris closed his eyes as if there was something horrible he did not want to see.

“I failed you. I won't let that happen again.” Fenris said calmly.

Ava's breath caught in her throat when he said those words. He was not apologizing for failing Garrett, he was apologizing for failing _her._ That sent a little bit of a thrill through her but then she remembered everything else and she merely took a breath.

She thought about letting him wallow in his guilt for a moment but she really didn't have the heart for that.

“The demon was using magic on your mind, it's as simple as that.” Ava said, her voice soft towards him.

“And yet she didn't manage to influence you.” Fenris said as his gaze grew a little more intense.

Ava felt a little uncomfortable about his stare.

“Well, yes, the other demon didn't really delve too deeply for what it offered.” Ava tried to laugh it off but his stare was still piercing. “Fenris, I'm a mage. I've dealt with demons offering me things for most of my life. The first thing my father taught me was that demons are not to be trusted.”

She didn't understand why the demon had chosen the dream tactic when she wanted Fenris far more badly then that. Perhaps Merrill was right, maybe there really were demons that were less intelligent then the rest.

“Your father was a smart man.” Fenris looked away from her. “As for the boy, we shall see what he becomes, and if he regrets the mercy Hawke provided. But that is not important. Let's just hope we face nothing similar in the future.”

  
  


_Everything was the wrong colour. Muted shades of green and grey. Water at her heels. There was something there in the dark and in the water. Something full of terror and malice. She didn't want to look._

_There are people around, ones she doesn't know, and one she does. Garrett is here, in this strange place. They are running, running to reach the green glowing thing._

“ _How do we get by?” The dark haired man said. His armour was that of a Grey Warden, it had the pretty crest on the front._

“ _Go, I'll cover you.” Garrett spoke quickly._

“ _No, you were right.”_

  
  


“Ava!”

She blinked to find herself in Fenris' arms. There is no mistaking the look of concern in his face, the way his eyebrows were almost touching. She became rather aware of his hands, holding her in a grip that would have been intimate if not for the concern. The metal of his armour dug into her skin but it was not quite painful.

“Sorry.” She breathed as she went to sit up.

“Are you alright?” That concern was mirrored in his voice, his hands loosening as he spoke. “You suddenly went limp and collapsed.”

“I'm fine.” She pushed his hands away as she managed to sit on his own.

“Is this what the demon was referring to?” Despite the concern, there was a bit of a demand in his voice.

“Pretty much.” Ava lied. She couldn't bring herself to tell him that this kind of thing had only started happening within the last few years. “Normally, it's just dreams.”

“Why have you not mentioned this before?” Now he was angry at her.

His face had taken on that look he usually only got when he was discussing slavers or other mages. The only difference was that his lyrium marks weren't glowing as he was glaring at her.

“What was the point?” She snapped as she got to her feet, a little unsteady on her feet. “You chose to leave.”

“Ava, I...” He went to steady her and the look completely dropped into what could only be described as a kicked puppy look.

“Never mind. I don't even know why I came here.” She pushed his hands away and stomped for the door.

She didn't want him to look at her with that concern in his face, and definitely did not want to feel his hands on her body. It was just two more reminders that he had chosen to run away from her instead of working through whatever the problem was. She had come here and she had no idea why. It was not like she was going to be able to convince him to change his mind, he had made it completely clear.

He grabbed her wrist to keep her from going out the door.

“Ava, please.”

She froze a the sound in his voice. That gravelly tone that was almost pleading with her.

“What, Fenris?” She turned to look at him and could not keep the edge out of her voice. “You want me to stay so we can... what? Discuss what happened in the Fade? Have more things to regret in the morning?”

“No! Fenhedis!” He pulled her close to him for a brief moment then hastily let go as if he remembered what he was doing. His gravelly voice became deep. “I want...”

Just hearing those two little words sent her heart racing. He'd used that tone of voice before in a more intimate setting but it had been her name he'd said like that. She desperately wanted to hear him say it again but she knew that he wasn't going to.

“What do you want, Fenris?” Ava said as she crossed her arms. He didn't want to talk about what happened, that much was clear but that left them in a place that was strange. “For us to be friends?”

“Yes!” He seemed to cling to that. “Friends. Please. Can we at least be friends?”

Ava stared at him for a long, hard minute. It took all of her will not to break down in front of him. She hadn't meant it when she suggested it but here he was, agreeing to the idea. She didn't want to be friends with him. She didn't want to have to see him every day and know that's all they were.

She had lied when she told him that her mother hadn't wanted her to come see him. In reality, she couldn't handle it herself. Yet, he had wanted her to come to him for training. Now, he was going with this idea of friends. She had never thought he would be cruel but clearly she was wrong.

“Fine.” She waved her hand and turned away. “We can be friends.”

She didn't want him to see the hurt that blossomed at the finality of her words.

Friends.

“I need to get going.” Ava said simply before leaving. She didn't let him voice up a reason for her to stop, she just hurried from the mansion before he could stop her.

 


	21. Regrets of the Wolf

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dif PoV so new chapter. Really really really short though.

He watched her go and sank to his knees even as he cursed at himself. He was such a coward. Twice, he had tried to tell her. To tell her what the demon really offered him but he couldn't bring himself to do it.

They had heard the words.

“ _But you fear them still. They have left their marks on your body and your mind. With my aid, you could be free forever. You could have power enough to challenge any who would chain you.”_

What none of them saw was the vision the demon had provided.

It had showed him Ava, bound in chains like a Qunari saarebas and being led away by Danarius as a pet. As a _slave._

How could he tell her that he would willingly sell her brother to that demon to ensure Danarius never followed through on what he knew the man would do. That Danarius would take what was the most beautiful thing in this world and crush it, simply because he could.

He was such a coward.

 


	22. All that Remains

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another short chapter but trying to avoid scenes from the game as much as possible here.

He had been brooding over what the demon had showed him in the Fade when Aveline had come running into his mansion. It made him think he should get a lock for that door but the frantic calling of her voice was enough to keep him from any comment.

“Fenris!” She called from the lower level, her voice rising in panic. “It's Leandra, she's gone missing.”

He felt his blood run cold and was out of his chair within seconds. The sword was grabbed and slid into the sheath on his back as he raced from the room and down the stairs, two at a time. The matriarch of the Hawke family had been welcoming to all of them, himself included. He had become genuinely fond of the old woman.

“What has happened?”

“Hawke has already gone to look for her. She received white lilies.”

White lilies had been the calling card of a man they had been tracking. A murderer that had been kidnapping women. They had only found the remains of one of his victims in an abandoned building in low town. He had not been with Hawke when it had been found so he did not know the location. Instead, he raced out the door with Aveline to Hawke's mansion.

He saw Ava standing at the door. She was pacing back and forth and that look she gave him was almost heart wrenching. There was panic, fear, and so many other emotions in those lyrium blue eyes. He wanted to run to her and tell her that everything was going to be alright but he knew that would sound like the lie it was.

She did not tell him to go despite where he had left her those months ago. Instead, he heard her voice rising in that despair. “Hawke hasn't come back yet.”

“Then let us go find him.” He said with a nod and a glance over to Aveline who gave a nod of her own, agreeing with the idea of going after the others.

Fenris led the way to the entry way to Low Town, and they stopped as they got to the bottom of the steps. Near the door to the Hanged Man, they could make out Galen who was pacing back and forth. Ava moved more quickly then him as she hurried to her uncle's side.

“Uncle!” She called.

“Ava?” He frowned at her before turning to look down one of the streets. “Hawke went that way earlier but hasn't returned.”

“Mother...?” She had to ask even as she started off in the direction.

“I haven't seen her yet either.” Gamlen's voice was worried but he did not put words to the concern they all had.

Ava didn't say a word to her uncle before she took off at a run down the street. Fenris and Aveline followed behind her as she led the way. Fenris knew this part of Low Town from what he had heard from some of the elves from the Alienage and it certainly brought a chill to his spine.

They raced down the narrowing streets but he came to a sudden stop when Ava dropped in front of him. He almost tripped over her. “Ava?”

He heard the sob that pulled from her frame and he tore his gaze from her up to where she was looking. Coming out of the foundry just up ahead was Hawke and the others but it was what was in Hawke's arms that had all their attentions.

The body was dressed in white with a veil hanging from her hair. The way the woman hung limply, he knew that Hawke was carrying a dead person. The look on his face was enough to tell him who it was. He closed his eyes for a moment as he took a breath.

“Take her home.” Hawke choked out and Aveline moved to urge Ava to her feet.

The young woman shrugged off the Guard Captain's hand before she got to her feet and took off. Hawke nodded to him and Fenris turned to follow her. He knew she did not want his comfort but he would ensure that nothing happened to her.

Through the winding streets, he followed her. She headed in the direction of High Town, just as he expected but there was a sudden surprise when she did not go to Hawke's Mansion. Instead, she made for the far side of High Town. Stopping only when she was at the door to his mansion. It was only when she was there that she started to cry. She leaned against the door, tears streaming down her face.

“Ava,” His voice was soft as he stepped up behind her. “I do not know what to say... but... I am here.”

She turned to him and buried her face against his chest. She ignored the metal of his armour and just clung to him. The sounds of her sobs were painful to his ears. He lifted her into his arms and carried her inside his mansion.

There were many things he wished he could say to her but he had no words for the grief she was experiencing. His live had been torn from him but she was the only thing he feared to lose and he dared not consider that idea in order to come up with something to comfort her.

Fenris settled her in the chair by the fireplace. He rekindled the fire before moving to grab a bottle of the expensive wine and handed it to her. The top part of his armour was taken off and discarded it to the floor. He lifted her up and cradled her against his chest before he settled down into the chair and just held her.

 


	23. Warning

_She was standing in the empty manor, standing just in that main room where her mother had so often busied herself with things._

_There were no whispers in her dream tonight, just a simple emptiness. An acceptance of the fact that her mother was gone._

_Every which way she turned, she saw the white lilies._

_One there on the table._

_Another on the mantle place._

_Yet another on the stairwell._

_She had never hated a flower before but she certainly did now._

_In her despair and loathing, flames wreathed out. Each flower erupting into a blue flame._

_One by one, they went up but the fire didn't stop there. It leaped to everything in the dream. The table erupted into flames, then the mantle, then the stairwell._

_Everything within the manor started to burn._

_Recoiling, Ava slid out the door and into the street._

_The city was burning as well. A red light rose off in the distance but it was over taken by the flames that seemed to consume everything._

_A whisper came then, a warning to flee. To escape the city. To..._

  
  


“Wake up!” It was Carver's voice that roused her as he shook her awake.

“Carver?” She muttered, red ringed eyes as she stared up at her brother in full Templar gear. She hadn't seen him since he'd left but there he was, the dark haired youth who had left them all. “What are you doing here?”

“Trying to save your daft ass.” He barked but there was relief in those bright blue eyes. “You wouldn't wake up and we need to get the hell out of High Town.”

“What?” She stammered as she sat up. “What's happened?”

“The city has gone nuts. If it wasn't for Knight-Captain Rutherford, I wouldn't even be here right now.” He stretched out an arm to help her to her feet. “He's well aware that you and Garrett are mages.”

She felt her blood go cold at the mere thought that the Templars knew that they were apostates but then, it made sense. There was no way that they didn't realize that Garrett had been a mage. Not with how much he had _helped_ over the years.

“So the Templars know...”

“Not all of them.” Carver said softly as she got to her feet. “The Knight-Commander doesn't, and most of the others don't really care enough to look.”

A strange look crossed his face as if he was thinking about something dark. Realization dawned suddenly.

“That's why you left!” She pointed a finger at him accusingly. “You joined the Templars so you could figure out what was going on and to...- “

“Keep you and Garrett safe, yes.” He stared at her for a long hard minute. “Did you seriously think I joined the Templars for... for what? Hunting down apostate mages? Maker's breath, Garrett is my brother and you're my sister. I couldn't very well sit by and do nothing while the two of you were out there risking your lives, your freedom, for people that didn't know you. That didn't care to know you and believed you were something terrible because you were born with magic.”

She blinked even as the tears formed in her eyes. She wrapped her brother in as tight a hug as she could manage given the armour he was wearing. There was a sense of relief as he hugged her back. Ava had never been able to understand how Carver, kind and caring Carver would join the Templars.

“You could have waited you know.” She said, a little frosty as she stepped back.

“Yes, well, I knew Garrett was going to make it back from the Deep Roads eventually.” He said before tugging her from the room. “Grab your boots and your staff.” He mentioned it in passing before stopping. “Wait... where is your staff?”

“I don't use one.” She motioned towards the scabard and sword at the foot of the bed before hastily picking up her things. “Where are we going?”

“I'm getting you to the Gallows.”

“The Gallows? What... why?” She stammered, startled by the sudden idea that he was taking her to the circle. That was a little bit terrifying for a minute.

“The city has gone nuts, Ava.” He said as he waited for her to pull her boots on. “The Qunari are rampaging through the streets and are heading for the Keep. No one is safe out there especially not mages. We both know what they do to anyone with magic.”

She had remembered the day Garrett had returned from dealing with the Saarebaas. That haunted look in her brother's eyes as he tried to avoid speaking about it. It had taken hours of talking, and a fair amount of booze, to get him to reveal what it was to be a mage among the Qunari. Lips sewn shut, wearing a collar to control their magic and treated as little more then a weapon. The way he'd explained it, Ava hadn't been sure which she'd choose. That or being a Tranquil as both were horrifying fates.

“Where's Garrett?” She demanded immediately.

“He's gone to the Keep.”

“What?” Ava stared at him.

Of course. Of course Garrett would go to the Keep to face the Arishock.

“He was already gone by the time I got here.” Carver said defensively, already knowing where this was going.

“We're going to the Keep.” Ava said firmly. She strapped the belt around her waist and drew the sword from the scabard. She let her brother see the magic that flowed around it even as her eyes blazed. There was no way she was going to let him force her to sit on the sidelines.

“Ava...” He looked like he was going to argue but quickly changed his mind. “Alright, let's go.”

The two of them stepped quickly towards the front door where they saw a terrified looking Bodahn standing there with a hammer in his hand. Behind him was Orana, who held a frying pan up like a weapon even if she trembled like a tree in a storm. Sandal was off in the corner, happily playing with a ball of string.

“Messere...” Bodahn said with some surprise before looking from us to the door.

“Take Sandal and Orana to the cellar.” Carver said as he nodded at the man. “If you hear someone up here that isn't me, Ava or Garrett; take the secret passage out into the Undercity and get the hell out of Kirkwall.”

The dwarf looked conflicted as he glanced between us before giving a heavy nod and raced towards his son.

Orana looked completely terrified as she looked at Ava. She went to say something but only nodded and followed after the dwarf.

The two of them stepped out into the world that had gone mad, Carver stopped to lock the door.

“Where did you get a key?” Ava asked in confusion, knowing full well that he had never been to the manor.

“Mother sent it to me.” His voice was almost flat but she could hear the hurt. He hadn't been here when their mother was taken and turned into _that_ thing.

Ava nodded even as she felt her throat constrict at the pain she knew her brother had felt. He hadn't been there at all. Not for what happened and not for the funeral. She had no idea what or why but she knew it wasn't because he didn't want to be there.

“Let's go.”

They raced through the burning city and straight to the Keep. There wasn't much resistance as they ran but Ava's heart stopped as they were pushing their way through the crowd.

She could see her brother at the forefront of the crowd as the Arishok started his little speech about taking some tome and Isabella. And like usual, her brother was sticking himself in to fight for his friend.

She was not going to get there in time to stop the fight, but she was not going to stand by and watch it happen. She was going to intervene and help her brother, even if it killed her.

Somehow, she had lost Carver in the crowd and was about to rush out into the middle of what was happening when a strong hand gripped her arm.

“Stop.” Fenris' voice was low, almost a growl and she could see the lyrium glowing all over him.

“Let go.” She hissed at him.

“No.” He pulled her tight against him. “I know you. You're about to run into that fight.”

“So?”

“Hawke needs to fight the Arishok on his own.” Fenris slid his arm around her, keeping her against his body even as she struggled. “You cannot interfere in this.”

“Let me go, Fenris!” She couldn't believe that he was going to stop her from helping her brother.

“No.” His face was close to her's as his other arm slid around her and his voice dropped, almost like he was having trouble speaking the words. “Please... Ava... you can't get involved in this.”

She froze at the change in his voice and tilted her head to look up at him. His eyes were bright and focused completely on her. He was ignoring the fight completely and just staring at her.

“Fenris... Garrett... Hawke needs my help.” She almost whimpered the words.

“Your brother can do this.” He leaned his head down towards her. “Trust in him.”

Thought left her for a moment as his face was almost touching hers. If she leaned a little, she could kiss him. He seemed to be aware of that as well, his tongue darting over his lips. She couldn't pull her eyes away and arched up just enough to press her mouth against his.

His grip around her tightened and she was certain he leaned down towards her but it wasn't like the other kisses. This was almost hesitant, and not even half as fiery as she remembered.

“Fenris?” She questioned as she pulled back to look at his face.

His eyes were closed and he exhaled a sharp breath through his nose. There was even a flush in his cheeks but he had not kissed her back.

Then she saw the Qunari around them leaving and she understood.

She tore herself from his arms with a hiss. Her hand coming up in a sharp slap across his face that he made no effort to stop. She didn't need to say any words, he knew precisely what he had done. He had distracted her, like he had when Carver had left to go join the Templars and she had fallen for it.

She whirled and raced towards the throne where she heard Meredith speaking but the Knight-Commander's words were ignored as she sought out her brother. He was standing tall but she could see the fatigue in him, the gaunt look in his cheeks and the blood off setting the colour of his outfit. He was hurting, she could see it from where she stood at the edge of the crowd.

Meredith had just proclaimed Garrett the Champion of Kirkwall and left, when he sagged. Aveline was close enough to catch him before he crumpled to the floor, her face full of worry as her eyes met Ava's.

“To the clinic.” Carver said as he came from behind her to sling Garrett's arm over his shoulder. Carver's face was set in a grim line as they started walking together out of the Keep.

“Carver?” Garrett managed before he fell into unconsciousness.

Ava said nothing as she followed them. She didn't search the crowd for Fenris as she walked, which was a good thing as she thought she might end up setting him on fire at this point.

 


	24. Healing Hawke

Even before they considered leaving, Ara forced the unconscious Garrett to drink one of the health potions they had left. The battle to the Keep had apparently been taxing and only the ones she carried were all that remained.

Her gaze flicked to all of them but they all seemed alright. Aveline looked the next worse but she was no where in the shape that Garrett was.

They carried Garrett to the clinic, Ara using her magic to hold her brother together as they walked. She was a capable healer but she knew they needed Anders.

Anders had more experience with healing, she had only been doing it since they came to Kirkwall. She ignored all else as she focused her magic around her brother. It was acting like pressure, keeping blood from flowing out. A temporary fix, and one that she knew she could not keep up for long.

“What were you thinking?” Carver hissed under his breath as he shouldered half of Garrett's weight.

No one answered him at first, knowing full well what he was referring to. Aveline's face was set in a stern line, as she seemed to agree with whatever sentiment was on Carver's face.

“He did it to save me.” Isabela finally said, her voice low.

Carver shot a glare at the woman.

Ava knew that Garrett had done the right thing but right now, all she could see was her brother bleeding from Maker knows how many wounds.

Nothing else was said until they arrived at the clinic.

“Maker's Breath, what happened to him?” There was no hiding the concern in Ander's voice as Carver and Aveline dragged Garrett in and laid him down on one of the beds.

“He took on the Arishok.” Varric answered, his voice grim.

“The Arishok?” Anders paled before his tone suddenly went business like, detaching himself from looking at who it was that was now on the bed. “Everyone out. Ava, you stay.”

“I've been keeping pressure on his wounds as best as I can.” She took a breath as Anders rested a hand on her shoulder.

“You're doing good.” Anders said with encouragement but there was worry in his voice.

He turned away to pull one of the healing potions from his supplies, forcing it to Garrett's mouth as he tipped it back. His hand was on the back of Garrett's head, holding him almost gently as he made her brother drink the liquid.

She nodded before the both of them set to work on doing what they could for Garrett's injuries.

Neither of them spoke for what felt like hours.

It was only when many of the worst injuries had been dealt with that Anders finally spoke.

“You can release your magic on him now.” He said, his voice tired.

“Alright.” She took a breath and let it flow away from her brother. She had been gradually loosening her grip as Anders worked but finally letting go almost made her sink to her knees in exhausted relief.

“You really should learn more healing spells.” Anders said as he continued to tend to a wound on Garrett's shoulder. “I think you might end up better then me one day.”

“Hardly.” She said with a brief shaky laugh. “I just took what I knew of force magic, and used it in reverse.”

“Clever.” Anders said with a nod. “Here, hand me that cloth would you?”

She glanced over at the cleanest pieces of cloth and moved to hand them to him. Both of them were coated in blood, in Garrett's blood.

She felt a little ill as she considered it, a step back as she stared down at her brother.

“Don't focus on the blood.” Anders said as if he understood her sudden hesitation. “Tell me what happened.”

Ava knew it was to distract her but she couldn't help but follow along. Now that she wasn't focusing on her magic, the panic was threatening to eliminate everything else.

“He shouldn't have fought the Arishok.” Ava managed as she tried to focus on that. “Isabela said it was done to save her.”

She stared down at Garrett's face, noticing how pale his skin was against his dark hair. There was a slash across his nose. Another scar gained for the defence of this stupid city.

“That is very much like him.” Anders said with a sigh.

Ava glanced up at him to see that Anders was staring down at Garrett's face. There was something in the man's blue eyes that she understood quite well.

“I don't know what happened beyond that.” She admitted as she studied the healer. “Carver had come to the house to take me to safety when the city went nuts. I'm surprised you weren't with him.”

“I wanted to.” There was guilt and a faint bit of anguish in Anders' voice. “But there were so many people here that needed help. He made me stay here.”

Ava stared at the man's face before glancing down at Garrett's face again. A few things slid into place. The way the mage's eyes had always followed Garrett on a battlefield. That he was almost always the first one willing to go along with Garrett's crazier schemes.

“How long have you been in love with my brother?” She asked.

Anders looked up at her, startled by the question before turning his attention back to the last wound. The one across Garrett's face.

“A while now. Probably just after that time I convinced him to take you to the Bone Pitt.” There was a pained smile on Anders' face as he spoke. “Your brother never once turned from me. Not even after discovering about Justice.”

She managed to suppress the shudder that came with hearing about Justice. Ava had learned more about spirits from Merrill then she had from her father and she did not truly trust the things on the other side of the veil. Justice was just another of those, he just happened to be riding around in Anders.

“And does my brother return those feelings?”

“I'd like to think so.” Anders said with a sigh before looking over at her. “Why are you asking?”

“Because, Maker help me... if you hurt my brother.” She shot him a small glare, the best she could manage with how bone weary tired she was. “Not even Justice will be able to help you after I'm done with you.”

Anders blinked before he burst out laughing.

“Whuh... what's so...” Garrett's voice was groggy and still full of pain. “Funny...?”

“Just your sister threatening me.” Anders' said quickly before placing his hand on Garrett's cheek. “You damned fool! Why would you fight the Arishok?”

Ava turned away, not out of respect for seeing a rather intimate moment between the two but to reach for a healing flask. It would help with the work they had done on his injuries but it would also dull the pain that was ripping through him.

“He...” Garrett groaned and put a blood soaked hand over Ander's hand on his cheek. “Wanted to take and re-educate Isabela.”

“Here, drink.” Ava said softly, holding the potion towards her brother's mouth. She didn't want to think of what would have happened to Isabela if she had gone with the Arishok and his men. They all knew what happened when it came to the Qunari and what they did with people that did not fit in with their views of the Qun.

Anders moved his hand away, grasping the potion from her and held it there himself.

An angry comment was bit back as she watched the two of them. It was almost like she was witnessing something she shouldn't.

“I should tell the others that you're alright.” She managed.

Anders glanced up before looking both guilty and almost shy. A blush spreading along the man's cheeks. He mouthed the word 'sorry' to her but Garrett didn't seem to notice.

“Did... did I win?” Garrett asked after he finished off the potion.

“Yes, Garrett... you won.” Ava managed to laugh, shaking her head at her brother. “Of all the questions to ask... you're a tit.”

“But a tit that won.” He said with a small grin before he winced. “Maker, it feels like my insides were scrambled.”

“If it wasn't for your sister, you probably wouldn't even have insides right now.” Anders chastised. “Seriously. The next time you wade into combat without someone capable of healing... I swear I'll –“

Ava watched as Garrett grabbed the front of Anders' robe to pull the man closer. She hastily turned on her heel at that point to march for the entrance of the clinic.

“That's my cue. I'll go let people know you're alright.”

He was a grown man but it was still weird to think of her brother being intimate with anyone. Almost as bad as thinking about her parents sneaking kisses when they thought the four kids hadn't been looking.

Garrett's hoarse laugh chased her out of the clinic.

Waiting outside were the ones she expected. Everyone but Fenris stood around, staring at the doorway. It was Isabela who approached first, and there was pure guilt on the woman's face. Carver was just a step behind her.

“He's going to be fine.” Ava said, not bothering to taunt them by withholding the information from them. “You can go in and see him unless Anders says otherwise.”

Isabela and Aveline passed her before she finished talking. Varric and Merrill following afterwards. Carver was the only one to stop beside her.

“You've changed..” He said softly.

“Yes, well... Garrett does need someone watching over his dumb ass.” Ava said with a small sigh.

“More then just that. You used to get pale at the sight of blood.” Carver said and gave her a small hug. “Yet, there you were. Going to run off to fight that Arishok with Garrett, if Fenris hadn't stopped you, that could very well be you in there on that table.”

“You saw that?” Ava glared at him even as her cheeks reddened.

“Yep.” Carver said with a strange look. “And the slap you gave him afterwards.”

Her blush deepened.

“It's not my place but maybe you should go talk to him.”

“When did you start involving yourself in whether I talk to Fenris or not.” She asked with a huff.

“Since you started looking at him like a moon eyed calf.”

“I do not.”

“You do.”

She gave him an angry but tired glare.

“Look, I'm not saying you forgive him for whatever is between the two of you because Maker knows, I don't want to know.” He grimaced. “But if he hadn't been there...”

He left the words hanging.

“Fine, I'll go talk to him.” Ava said with a small grunt. “After I take a bath and change my clothes.”

“That'd be a good idea.” Carver responded. “Look... I promised I'd go with Merrill to the Alienage to help out with whatever damage was done. If you wait, I can walk you home before I go.”

“Sure.” She said as she waved her brother off.

Carver gave her a nod before he walked into the clinic. She was dimly aware of the people that had been staring at them, given that he was a man dressed completely in Templar gear and was traipsing through a clinic run by an Apostate.

It was probably the first time he had been there since he joined the Templars.

She winced as she heard Anders shouting at him from within the clinic before it all died down when Merrill and Garrett voiced their defence of Carver.

Sighing, Ava decided to just walk home on her own.

It's not like anyone was going to target her after the chaos that had just happened.

 


	25. Realization

Ava changed her mind on the bath when she got back to the manor. She sincerely doubted that she could manage to get a bath going without feeling terrible about what the outside looked like.

Templars and the city guard were combing through the streets, helping where they could. She knew both Aveline and Carver would be among those crowds soon enough.

Instead, she merely cleaned the blood from her face and hands before slipping into a clean blouse and breeches.

She stopped only long enough to make sure Orana and the others were alright before she slipped out the door. She didn't bother explaining to them why she had chosen to walk home through the city instead of taking the secret entrance up.

In truth, she wasn't sure why she hadn't. She was too tired at that point to really help anyone and most avoided her because of how bloody she was.

She told them where Garrett was and that she would return later. Bodahn looked like he was going to stop her but she was gone before he could raise too many arguments about her going back out into the city.

It took a short time to get from Garrett's home to Fenris' mansion. High Town was a mess but it seemed most of the city guard was situated there, helping clean up the debris and clearing the streets to allow people to pass.

She used the side streets, ending up in the small plaza before his mansion. It looked like it hadn't been touched but then, there was no reason anyone would attempt to look the building. Most of the thugs in the city gave it a wide berth. Nothing worth stealing, and definitely nothing worth getting killed over.

She thought about knocking but just pushed the door open before entering. The door closed behind her as she hurried to the stairs.

“Fenris?” She called as she took them two at a time to get to the higher level.

She peeked into the room where he normally perched in a chair but not even the fire was going. Sighing to herself, she glanced back towards the stairs and the door to lead out into the city.

“Screw it.” She muttered under her breath, too tired to really bother with the idea of walking back to Hawke's Manor.

She remembered that there were spare rooms off the landing. Some with beds.

The thought of a bed right now was a temptation she couldn't refuse. Somewhere comfortable to just wait out his return.

Ava walked to one of those and just flopped into the bed. It smelled musty, and she knew he probably never slept in it but it was better then sitting in that uncomfortable chair and waiting for him.

At some point, she dozed off.

  
  


_For the first little while, her dream was nothing special._

_Just wandering the streets of Kirkwall as it was before the Qunari decided to unleash themselves on the city._

_There was that little baker who sold those most delicious pastries and she found herself taking one of those._

_A good dream._

_This was a good dream. One she hadn't had in a while._

_She smiled to herself as she took a bite of the pastry, walking along the sun lit streets._

_Everyone who wandered around in the dream was happy. It was a stark contrast from what had happened before she had fallen asleep but everything was good._

_No one looked at her with malice or distrust._

_Her steps took her towards Hawke's Manor but as she walked, she became painfully aware of the streets changing._

_The buildings became older._

_There were more statues._

_The sun had begun to set._

_She sighed, wondering what she was going to see this time. Her happiness over the dream being a good one just vanished as she walked._

“ _Don't.” The voice was growled up ahead of her, just around a turn in the street. “Don't you dare touch her!”_

“ _Come now, Fenris.” She had heard that voice before but she didn't recognize it. “Your little pet appears to be quite gifted, perhaps even capable of being a true Arcane Warrior.”_

_Ava took a few steps to peer around the corner and her mind went blank at what she saw before her._

_There were several people in the little plaza before her. A man in a rather flamboyant looking set of robes, it even had straps holding books to his side, was beckoning towards Fenris. Fenris who stood with someone – whom she could only describe was another her – behind him. His sword was drawn and she could see the anger in his posture from here._

_There were others beyond the man but they were indistinct and clearly not the focus of the dream. One of them circled around, and Fenris swung the sword in his direction with a snarl._

“ _Now my little pet.” The man's voice was chiding. “Come along, like a good boy.”_

_Ava felt her heart stop. This man was surely the man who had enslaved Fenris. Is this what he dreamed about?_

“ _I am not your pet.” Fenris growled. “And she'll never be your slave!”_

“ _Are you certain of that, Fenris?” The man questioned as the dream shifted._

_The other-her was no longer behind Fenris but was now in front of him. A black collar was wrapped around her neck and blue lyrium runes lined around it. That other-Ava looked back at Fenris but those eyes were blank, completely devoid of any emotion or thought._

_Ava wrapped her hand around her neck as she felt the terror rising up in the dream. No. Not a dream. This was a nightmare._

_This was Fenris' nightmare._

_She stumbled out from the building she had been using to hide herself even as the men swarmed him. He was screaming in rage as he fought them off but it was like any nightmare._

_No matter how hard he fought, he was not going to be able to beat them._

_The other-her was being led away like some obedient slave._

“ _Fenris! Wake up!” Ava shouted as loud as she could._

_The dream shuddered and she was knocked to her feet._

_Fenris turned in the crowd of men, and his eyes met hers. Recognition flickered in his eyes._

_Then the dream shattered._

  
  


“Fenhedis!” The shout came from the main room.

Ava was beyond disoriented. She had come to Fenris' mansion to talk to him but then she had been dreaming.

She heard him before he was suddenly throwing open the door to the room she had been sleeping in. His eyes were wide, almost terrified as he stared at her. He wasn't wearing the top of his armour, a simple shirt hung over the edge of his pants.

It was clear that he had just been sleeping, his eyes almost unfocused as he stared at her. There was something between rage and fear in his eyes.

“Uh... hi.” She rolled over to sit up in the bed even as her muscles protested the movement. Every part of her was strained from using her magic on Garrett earlier.

“You... you were in my dream.” His voice was accusatory.

She instantly became wary and almost afraid that he would be upset with her. She knew his opinion on mages, and the things they were capable of. This might change his feelings of her again and that would be almost too much for her to handle. The rage that she'd felt earlier at his kiss, and that he had stood by as Garrett had fought the Arishok, had completely fled and was replaced by that wariness.

“Yeah...” She took a deep breath before looking up at him. “I didn't mean to. I'm not even sure... not even sure how.”

“You're a somniari.”

“What?” She stared up at him, recalling the Feynriel. Their trip into the fade had been to rescue him, and she knew without a doubt that she was not like Feynriel. She had felt the half-elf manipulate the fade and what she did was nothing like that. “Maker, no. I'm not one of those.”

“Then how else do you explain this?”

“I have no idea.” She said, her voice angry. “You're the only person that this has happened with.”

That seemed to catch his attention. His eyes completely on her's as he sucked in a lungful of air. She watched as his hands clenched at his sides. Ava didn't want to consider what he might be thinking as he stood there, looking like she might be no better then the man in his dream.

“How much did you see?”

“Enough that I know you're dreaming of someone putting me in a collar.”

His eyes went completely wide as he froze. The way the anguish flickered in his eyes gave her a clear idea that this was not the first time he had dreamed of such. It was there for a brief second, but she knew.

“A recurring nightmare, then?” She asked, never breaking her gaze away from his. She wanted to demand how long this had gone on but she couldn't bring herself to do it.

“It is... not your concern.”

“Isn't it?” She pushed herself to her feet. “You're dreaming of me. Me and an evil bastard from Tevinter.”

He went silent as if he was trying to think but she didn't care. She could see the look in his eyes, that look that was somewhere between fear and anger. She didn't want to fight, not over this, but there was nothing else to really consider. She was too drained after helping heal her brother.

Fenris just remained silent. Honestly, she would have preferred anger or anything but him being silent.

“Alright, since it isn't my concern, I'll be going.” She said with a sigh as she walked in his direction. “And don't you ever kiss me again.”

“Ava...” He said softly.

“No.” She shook her head at him. “I'm tired, Fenris. Tired of fighting, tired of all this damn blood., I'm tired of this... this thing.” She motioned in the air between them. “I'm going home.”

She attempted to walk pass him to get through the door when his hand snapped out to grab her arm before she could continue through.

“Let me go, Fenris.” She managed some anger despite how tired she was.

“No.” His voice was that rough gravelly noise somewhere between anger and regret. “I want to apologize.”

“Holding me here isn't an apology.” Ava glared at him.

“I shouldn't have kissed you.”

“Really? That's what you're apologizing for?”

His gaze hardened as his grip tightened. “I am not apologizing for stopping you.”

“Garrett could have been killed, Fenris.” She hissed.

“Hawke is more then capable of taking care of himself.”

“And what if Meredith had decided to cart him off to the gallows after his clear display of power against the Arishok?”

“I doubt it would have come to that.” Fenris' face became a mask of fury, the lyrium markings beginning to glow as that anger filled his voice. “What would have happened if you rushed in there, Ava? Do you think she would be so charitable to you?”

“Me. Garrett. There is no difference.”

“There is plenty of difference. And you know it.”

“Unless you want to get slapped again, let me go.” She glowered.

“Don't threaten me.” He growled.

“Why? Are you the only one who's allowed to make decisions?” She could feel her magic crackling over her skin. Nothing powerful but enough that it was like an electric charge over her. A personal shield of energy. “You keep deciding. You keep changing your mind.”

He remained silent under the onslaught of her words.

“I came here, originally, to make sure you're alright but clearly... that's not needed.” She spat. “So let me go, and you can go back to pretending.”

He let her go like he had been stung but he did not move to stop blocking the door.

“Move.”

“No.” He took a step to be further inside her personal space.

“Fenris.” Her voice took on a hint of warning but her breath caught at the look in his face.

The whole room was lit by the glow of his skin but his eyes practically burned as they stared back into her defiant ones. She went to take a step, her hand up to push him back when he seemed to snap forward like an arrow released from a bow.

His hands gripped at her hips, dragging her up against him as his lips found her's. There was hunger in that kiss but there was also desperation like he couldn't kiss her fast or hard enough. His tongue demanded entrance and she was only too willing to let him claim her mouth so completely. Her tongue dancing against his before she sucked lightly. She slid her arms around his neck, her fingers curling into his hair.

“I...” He groaned against her mouth. “I don't want to be just friends.”

She pulled away enough to stare into his intense eyes that were practically smouldering.

“That's a good thing.” She managed a laugh as she trailed one hand down along his cheek. “I don't think we can be just friends.”

“Never just friends.” His voice was soft but still growled. “I couldn't let you get involved in that fight. Hawke may have been willing to risk himself for Isabela but I couldn't let him risk you.”

“That wasn't your decision to make, Fenris.”

“Isn't it?” One hand slid to her cheek. “If we're more then friends, you cannot expect me to stand by why you walk stupidly into danger.”

“Fine.” She glared at him. “It wasn't your decision to make then. And I am not defenceless, you know.”

“I know.”

His calloused thumb trailed over her cheek, just lightly touching her skin.

Ava took a deep breath before she broached the other subject.

“You're fine then...” She couldn't keep the tremor out of her voice, suddenly afraid that he would turn away. “With the dreams?”

“I'm not saying I am completely okay with that.” He answered honestly. “Tell me about them.”

She understood what he was asking but it still did not relieve the fear that she couldn't dispel. He had already made it clear that he wanted to be more then friends but what if he couldn't handle the fact that she was a whole other category of mage.

Ava told him everything. Every little dream she had. The ones involving him, the ones about Lothering, all the way up to the one they had just shared. She even told him of the conversations with Merrill and Carver.

Silence hung heavily over them as she sat there. She couldn't meet his eyes, choosing to instead stare down at her knees. It was easier to stare at that instead of the possibility that he was going to change his mind.

“Does Hawke know?” His voice was quiet.

“Why does everyone ask that?” She muttered before shaking her head. “Not to the extent that you now know. You know more then Carver even.”

“Is this why you didn't want to be a mage?”

“Yes.” She sighed. “I didn't know what was wrong with me. I thought it was a demon trying to lure me as a child.”

“I see...”

She hunched lower, realizing what he was going to say.

“Don't.” He was kneeling before her before she had time to really think. “This doesn't change anything.”

“It... it doesn't?” She whispered as his hands cupped her cheeks.

“No, it doesn't.” He tilted her face up and pressed his lips against her's in a quick kiss before speaking again. “I meant what I said, Ava.”

She threw her arms around his neck and practically tackled him. His hands slid around her back as he held her gently against him.

“You may be a mage, but that certainly has no bearings on my feelings for you.” His voice was full of conviction as he hugged her tightly. “Not any more, any way.”

She buried her face against his shoulder and almost started to cry. This was hardly what she had expected when she first decided to come here today but this was far better then anything she had hoped.

“A... are you covered in blood?” He asked suddenly.

“Oh... yes.” She coughed and looked at him sheepishly as she pulled back. “It's Garrett's. I helped Anders put him back together before I changed and came here.”

“You need a bath.” His nose wrinkled as he said it.

“I'd probably fall asleep if I took one.” She admitted truthfully.

“Very well. Sleep first, then you're taking a bath.”

He moved to stand but she caught his hand and kept him from moving.

“Will you stay?” She asked softly.

“Well, this is my house.”

“I meant in this bed with me.”

“Of course.”

He sunk into the bed beside her. There was a brief awkward moment before she shuffled close against him, her head tucking under his chin. It didn't take long for her to drift off while wrapped up in his arms.

For the first time since she could remember, she didn't dream that night.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this is about where it's going to start deviating from the game a little more, mainly cause the last time jump always felt a little weird in the game.  
> And yes, they made up before Hawke and Fenris would in the game. Originally it was in the same time frame as the game but as there is more going on (like the dream stuff), it fit better here in my head.
> 
> Also, I will be participating in NaNoWriMo this year so the updates may end up spread out longer then every 3 days. If anyone is participating and looking for a writing buddy, feel free to add me. L8rose over there as well.


	26. Chapter 26

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's fluff.

The idea to move was utterly reprehensible.

He had slept soundly next to her. Although wrapped around her would have been the more appropriate term. His arms were looped around her, one beneath her and the other over. Her legs were lightly twined with his and her face was buried against his chest. She was tucked so perfectly against him that he did not want to move.

He had fallen asleep with the smell of her hair in his nose and her steady breathing lulling him into a sense of safety.

There had been no nightmares. No dreams of Danarius trying to take her. Nothing but a peaceful sleep. The rest of Kirkwall could be burning to the ground and he would have been surprisingly okay with that.

Fenris sighed to himself as he idly ran his fingers through her hair. She still needed a bath but there was something soothing about just getting to touch her again that he didn't care.

She was there and she was in his arms.

That peace could not keep his mind from going over all that she had told him before she had drifted off to sleep in his arms. He had thought about it before he slept but now it was once more in the forefront of his mind.

He had never been privy to the knowledge of mages in Tevinter but he had heard some things. Never once had there been something like her mentioned. There were the somniari, those who could travel dreams, but she said she was not one of those.

He believed her on that.

The demon had said that she had been hearing whispers. The somniari were most definitely easier targets for demons but the words of the demon had made it clear, it was not offering to shield her from others of it's kind.

A new worry settled into his chest. He could not protect her in the dreaming fade if something did try to entice her that way. Fenris quickly chased it away. He knew her, knew how strong she was. She would never fall prey to a demon.

That worry made him tighten his grip on her.

“Mmmm Fenris?” She mumbled against his chest as she shifted.

“Sorry, didn't mean to wake you.” He leaned to kiss the top of her head.

“What time is it?” Her voice was still groggy.

“Morning, I believe.” He wasn't sure how much into the morning it was but he could see the lightness of day through the window.

“Shit.” She muttered and went to get up. “I told Bodahn I'd be back later.”

“Well, it is later.” He said as he tugged her back into the bed with him. “And you're not going anywhere yet.”

“Fenris!” She scolded.

He smiled as he held her against his chest.

“Humour me.” He brushed his lips against her cheek. “It's been a while since I could just hold you.”

“Hey, it's your fault that you didn't have a cuddle buddy.” She huffed but she didn't pull away. “I would have been quite happy to be in your bed.”

The mere words had him hard and aching but he knew that's not what she meant. He pressed another chaste kiss to her cheek even if his eyes smouldered with that single thought of being with her again.

“I am sorry, I believed that it would be better if you hated me.” He shifted to get more comfortable. “The pain that those memories brought... I couldn't handle that. I was a coward.”

“Shhh.” She said softly and pressed her finger to his lips. “You're sorry, I forgave you, we don't need to think about it any more then that.”

He lightly kissed her finger before she pulled it away.

“Then... if there is a future to be had, I will gladly walk into it at your side.”

She didn't say anything, merely wiggled in close against him and pressed her lips firmly against his. Her fingers slid through his hair, just tight enough to deepen that ache in him. She gladly opened her mouth to him as his tongue slid in, caressing against her's.

He felt her tug him closer against her but he moved more quickly, flipping her to her back and pinning her beneath him. His tongue continued to dance in her mouth, tasting every part of her he could touch before he broke away to kiss down her chin and to her neck. That soft groan that pulled from her mouth only brought more kisses until he reached the edge of the neckline of her blouse.

The coppery taste of blood hit his lips and he sat up with a scowl.

“What? What is it?” She looked a little panicked but there was a flush that crept along her cheeks.

“You're still covered in Hawke's blood.” His nose was wrinkled in mild disgust even though it had done little to stifle his want to continue with kissing her and to go even further then that.

“Oh...” She coughed before she moved to sit up. “I do need a bath.”

“Yes. Very much so.” He leaned in to kiss her.

Ava lightly punched in the shoulder before shoving him off. She hastily started rubbing the back of her sleeve on her mouth.

“You did that on purpose.”

“Of course.” He said with a small laugh before he got to his feet. “I will prepare a bath for you.”

He saw the blush that deepened on her cheeks but said nothing else as he slipped from the room.

That was one of the advantages to this mansion. Whomever Danarius had stolen it from had been wealthy enough for there to be an easily accessible source of water. He had the tub completely ready for her by the time she had finally roused herself enough from the bed.

“I'm going to go see if there are any stalls open with food.” He said before he left her to the privacy of her own bath.

Fenris quickly left before there were any arguments.

Most of the local stall owners were back to work as if nothing had happened the day before. There was still debris everywhere but it was like High Town had been the least scathed. It pays to be the richer part of town apparently.

He picked up a few things that would be more suitable for a breakfast then the wine he had at the mansion and hurried back, pausing only briefly to let Bodahn know the Ava was with him in case someone came looking for her.

Fenris didn't hear her in the bath when he returned, finding the room with the tub completely empty. Frowning to himself as he climbed the stairs to the other level.

He nearly dropped the few things of food he was carrying when he saw her.

She was standing near the fireplace without so much as a strip of clothing on. Her eyes were focused more on the fire then on the sound of his approach.

His eyes, on the other hand, slowly picked over her body. From her head all the way to her toes. He had appraised her once before but it was different. She had been softer then, strong but with barely defined muscles. Now she looked more like a warrior then a mage.

Tiny scars crisscrossed her body in random patterns and while she had slimmed somewhat from hefting around the sword in battle, she still had those curves that he had traced his fingers. Curves he now wanted to run his mouth all over.

“I...” He licked his lips as he tried to get some semblance of coherent thought back into his head. “I brought food.”

“Oh.” Ava looked a little startled and quickly grabbed for the nearest piece of clothing to cover herself up a little. She blushed all the way to a lovely shade of red. “It was cold when I got out, I got distracted with the fire.”

“It's fine.” He said with a small smile as he strode towards the table and set the food there.

He kept his back to her, letting her at least attempt to get dressed. He wanted to tell her to stay naked but they had only just reconciled the night before, and she still looked exhausted.

She lightly tapped his shoulder and he turned around as she circled her arms over his shoulders. He slid his hands to her hips and pulled her up against him. It was one of his shirts that she was wearing now, not quite long enough to be a dress but it worked to keep everything covered for the moment.

“You look better.” He said, rubbing his thumbs over her hips, the shirt bunching up a bit beneath his hands. “You still look like you need more rest though.”

“Don't get bossy.” She chastised. “Or I won't stand naked in front of your fireplace any more.”

“You're the one that blushed.”

“You're the one who got hard.” She teased. “Or is that a new knife that's poking my thighs.”

“Evil woman.” He leaned down to kiss her. It was another deep kiss, another hint at how she was making him feel. Nearly sweeping her off her feet as he leaned her down.

“Ooor maybe I should take this shirt back off.” She said breathlessly after he broke away the kiss and set her back on her feet.

“You have no idea how much I want that off you.” He responded honestly, if a little hoarsely. “But you need to eat something and you need to go see your brother.”

“I do, do I?” She said with a quirk of an eyebrow before moving to sit in his chair.

“Yes.” He offered her piece of bread. “You'd feel terrible later if you don't go.”

She quirked an eyebrow at him but didn't argue. Just taking the food he offered.

He couldn't resist leaning down to whisper in her ear. “And when you have no more distractions, I'll show you exactly how much I've missed having you in my bed..” His teeth lightly grazing along her ear. “And on my floor, and the table, and the stairs.”

The bread fell into her lap before she shook her head at him with a small glower. There was a distinct flush of her cheeks that made it clear his words had the desired effect.

“And you said I'm evil.”

“I'm just reminding you that I have a lot to make up for.” Fenris said with a small smile before he sat down on the other chair.

“You most certainly do.” She huffed.

They ate their food with barely any more teasing before they ventured back out into the city. They ducked into Hawke's manor where she put on a pair of pants and then they went to visit Hawke at Anders' Clinic.

Well, she visited and he stood outside. Through out the entire day, he never once brought up the small bit of pleasure at watching her interact with everyone while wearing _his_ shirt. A clear sign to anyone that was looking at her and one that brought a small smile to his face when no one was looking at him.

 


	27. Orlesian Cakes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The following chapters are going to be kind of short as they're jumping PoVs in a short time.

They did not push things but Fenris made a point of visiting her or trying to entice her to visit him at the mansion. She found herself there more often then she was at Garrett's manor even with Garrett taking some time to recover.

The simple fact was that Fenris simply did not want to be at Garrett's place when it became clear that Anders was now living there. It always seemed to dampen his mood knowing that the abomination was there and Ava never pushed.

They settled into this new lifestyle of theirs, and more then once she had stayed the night at his mansion. The idea seemed to thrill him as he had even made the point of cleaning up that room she'd fallen asleep in. Even going so far as to get clean blankets.

There had been several times that she tried to entice him into intimacy but he seemed to shy away from that idea so it was just another thing that she didn't push. She was not sure why he was not going with the longing she saw in his eyes but she was giving him whatever space he needed until he was more comfortable in what they were. It was enough that he finally stopped this 'just friends' nonsense.

Today, she was going to visit Merrill to discuss more spirit knowledge but along her way, she saw that baker that sold those little pies.

She couldn't resist stopping to get one. She always did when they were there.

Ava paid for the fluffy little Orlesian cake and began her walk towards Merrill's. She had almost eaten the whole thing by the time she got to Gamlen's hovel. It was around there that she started feeling a little woozy.

She leaned against the wall, rubbing at her face, trying to chase away the sleepiness that was suddenly finding her. Everything was beginning to get a little fuzzy.

Ava stumbled back towards the stairs that would lead up to Gamlen's door but then a hand gripped her arm. The hand was strong and held her firmly in place.

She glanced up at the man holding her upright. All she could make out was the white hair and the lyrium markings that glowed against tan skin.

“Fenris?” She questioned before she slid into unconsciousness.

 


	28. Not Alone

He enjoyed the way they had come together since the Arishok battle. Little kisses stolen when no one was looking, quiet evenings spent together and even sparring.

She was no match for him but he enjoyed it. Just having her at his mansion settled him and relieved an ache he hadn't really known he had. Her presence seemed to chase away the nightmares as well.

It was from there that the other companions truly became friends and not just companions of Hawke. Even Aveline's husband Donnic became a friend of his. They would have game nights there where nearly everyone would show.

Then it happened. He managed to get in contact with his sister and she was coming here to Kirkwall, to see him. His nervousness filled him but he had asked Hawke to be there with him when it happened. He had wanted Ava to be there as well but it seemed she had gone with Merrill on a trip to pick herbs outside the city.

They went to the Hanged man to see her. To see Varania.

The moment he saw her there, the memories filtered in. A younger her, a garden and their mother. He had stared at her for a brief moment before she started to speak. She only looked at him once before looking straight ahead.

“It really is you.” She said, almost wistfully.

“Varania?” Fenris asked, his voice hesitant. “I... I remember you. We played in our master's courtyard while Mother worked. You called me...”

“Leto,” She said. “That's your name.” She got to her feet but she still wouldn't meet his eyes.

“What's wrong? Why are you so...?”

“I'll give you three guesses.” Hawke said behind him.

“Ah, my little Fenris. Predictable as always.” The voice chilled him to the bone and he turned to see Danarius walking down the stairs.

The Magister looked as he remembered, tall with those angry eyes. The man's face was set in a grim but self assured smile as he regarded them from the middle of the stairs.

“I'm sorry it came to this, Leto.” Varania said without looking at him.

“You led him here!” He snarled, turning to look at her with emotions somewhere between hate and despair in his eyes. He had seen how the Hawke siblings worked together and had hoped his sister would be as kind but this – this was far from what he had hoped. She had betrayed him.

“Now now, Fenris, don't blame your sister. She did what any good imperial citizen should.” Danarius said as he stepped onto the floor.

“I never wanted these filthy markings, Danarius! but I won't let you kill me to get them.”

Danarius laughed before he spoke. “Oh, how little you know, my pet.” He turned to look at Hawke with a questioning eye. “And this is your new master, then? The Champion of Kirkwall? Impressive.”

“Fenris doesn't belong to anyone.” Hawke's voice was angry.

“Do I detect a note of jealousy? It's not surprising. The lad is rather skilled, isn't he?” Danarius's voice was still that self assured, cocky tone.

“Shut your mouth, Danarius!” Rage filled Fenris' voice and he glared at the Magister. The lyrium marks on his skin beginning to glow.

“Such a beautiful shade,” Danarius looked at Fenris. “I've always been fond of that blue but it seems that you're fond of it as well.”

Fenris stopped for a moment even as his fist clenched. The glow intensified but the Magister did not motion his men forward. Instead, he glanced over to Hawke.

“It's an interesting trait you and your family has. Those blue eyes of yours are quite unmistakable,” Danarius spoke like he held all the cards. “I had hoped to return to Minrathus with both my pet and his but I am willing to trade. Her for him as you don't seem the type to readily hand him over.”

He felt a chill settle up his spine as Danarius spoke to Hawke like he wasn't here. The words drove the point home even further. Every pair of eyes in the Hanged Man were fixated on Danarius and Hawke even as Fenris' mind raced.

_His._

_Ava._

Fenris practically roared as he advanced on the Magister but Hawke was faster. Hawke's eyes blazed in anger even as magic sprouted from the battlemage's hand to land squarely against the chest of the Magister. The others joined the fight just as Danarius' men did. Over the din of the fight, Hawke's voice was heard shouting. “No deal!”

It was a bloody battle and finally only Danarius remained. He was crouched on his hands and knees. Like a cockroach, he was still alive but not for long if Fenris was to have his way.

He advanced onto the man, the glow still radiating from his body as he lifted the man up by his throat.

“Where is she!”

Danarius raised his hand and Fenris felt the heat of magic being summoned. The instinct was there and he could not help but force his grip through the man's throat. Danarius had been the one to give him this power and it was only fitting that he used that power to end him. As the Magister fell, Fenris felt a moment of uncertainty. For nearly as long as he could remember, the man had been a part of his life and now he was dead.

Then the realization really sunk home.

_Danarius was dead._

“Fenris!” Hawke's voice was urgent and angry. “He took Ava.”

Anger at himself came next as he whirled to face Hawke.

His own rage had gotten the better of him and now they may not be able to find her. Just behind them, he could see Varania cowering in the corner. He advanced on her with murderous intent.

“Where?!” He shouted.

“At the docks, in a warehouse.” She managed to say, her hands over her head in an effort to protect herself as if that would stop him if he had a will to kill her.

He glared at her, and felt hate for this woman who was supposed to be someone important to him.

“I had no choice, Leto.”

“Stop calling me that!” He snarled.

“He was going to make me his apprentice. I would have been a Magister.”

“You sold out your own brother to become a magister?” The anger in his voice rose. Magic once more come threatened to destroy everything.

“You have no idea what we went through. What I've had to do since mother died. This was my only chance.” Her voice was pitiful, rising as she cowered from him.

“And now you have no chance at all.” He did not care about this woman, only the thought of revenge for everything.

“Please... don't do this. Please tell him to stop!” She pleaded, her eyes turning towards Hawke.

“Wait, don't kill her.” Hawke said, but there was venom in his voice.

“Why not? She was ready to see me killed. What is she to me other then just one more tool of the magisters?” His voice was a snarl as he glanced back to Hawke.

“This is your family, Fenris.” Hawke's voice went to a calm tone but there was that anger rolling just beneath the surface.

Fenris looked at her. This woman who he had been willing to risk everything to meet but yet she had been the one to betray him.

“Get out!” He said as he pointed to the door.

Varania got to her feet and took off at a run, only stopping at the door before glancing back to him. There was something bitter in her eyes.

“You said you didn't ask for this but that's not true. You wanted this. You competed for it. When you won, you used the boon to have mother and I freed.”

“Why are you telling me this?” Fenris' voice broke as he said it. Not wanting to think about the fact that his current fate was all because of his choices. It was easier to hate Danarius then to consider that he had done this for the lyrium tattoos.

“Freedom was no boon.” Her voice was angry and cut through him as she spoke. “I look on you now and think you received the better end of the bargain.” And then she was out the door and gone.

He turned to Hawke with a pained look on his face. He did not want to meet the man's eyes as he thought over what had just happened. There was only one thing left, one driving force to hurry him from this place.

“We need to find her.”

No one argued as they all filed out of the Hanged Man and ran straight for the docks.

 


	29. To Die

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There is torture ahead. Mostly implied but enough details that things are fucked up.

She felt wrong. Her eyes were heavy and it hurt to breathe, a cloud seemed to hang over her mind and she was having trouble focusing.

She opened her eyes to find herself in a darkened room. Glancing about made her become aware of the uncomfortable position she was, both of her hands were up near her head but she was locked in a stockade like restraint. She could see the dim glow of runes around her hands and she assumed there were more around her neck.

“Good, the little mage is awake.”

She strained her head to try and see who was speaking. At first, her breath caught in her throat as she thought she was staring at Fenris. The glow of lyrium markings across the man's features were the first thing that came to mind but through the haze, she realized the build was wrong. Whoever this was, they were not as lithe as the warrior she knew.

The person was dressed like a soldier, intricate armour and two swords sheathed about their waist but they had a look that was definitely not like one of the Marchers or even a Fereldan. That look they were giving her was definitely not a kind and gentle one either. He stepped over to her and grabbed the front of the wood and jerked her to her feet.

His voice held an accent that she knew but she could not quite place it.

“I'll make this quick before you try anything stupid.” He said with a sneer. “This,” He jiggled the wood, causing it to bite painfully into her skin. “This will keep you from casting. Don't worry, you're not a tranquil but perhaps you might wish you were after we're done with you.”

She glared at him but could not move from where the chains were locked around her feet. She tried to summon her magic to her but the runes seemed to have the desired effect.

Nothing came to her call. It was a frightening thought, to be held captive and this powerless.

“Ransoming is useless, my brother won't pay.” She spat in the man's direction but it missed him completely.

“Ransom? From your brother?” There was a laugh that followed before she felt his fingers against her cheek and digging in. “My master has no intention of returning you to your brother. He is most curious about how you perform magic.”

His fingers curled in her hair and jerked her face painfully against the wood. That sneer remained there but there was a faint lusty look in his eyes. She tried to turn her face away from that look and he only yanked harder on her hair as she tried to move away.

“Little dog mage with such pretty eyes,” He cooed at her. “My master said I could have you after he learns your secrets and punishes your lover.”

Suddenly she understood. The accent, the gear, the lyrium marks, everything was Tevinter. This elf was a servant of Danarius.

She struggled against the binds that held her, trying to get free even if she knew it was impossible with how the wood was locked around her neck and wrists. She could not even swing a punch with how her arms were locked in place.

“Oh, that seems to have struck a nerve.” The man laughed, a cruel sound.

“Fuck off.” She managed under her breath as she tried to steel her face. “And I don't have a lover.”

“Now, now. No need to try and lie to me about that.” He said, and his fingers were against her cheek. “We've been watching the bunch of you for some time. We know everything.”

She stared at him, not letting her emotions show on her face as she glared.

“You two aren't even half as subtle as you think you are.” The man had a wicked grin even as his hand found it's way to her throat. The grip was harsh as he dug his finger nails into her skin.

She tried not to think too much about Fenris, and thought of escape instead. She tilted her head and drove herself as hard as she could into his face. He jerked away from her, his hand going up to his face for a moment. There was a swear from the man and she felt her hair get harshly yanked.

She yelped in pain even as his hand let go of her to slam into her midsection. Her knees wobbled as she collapsed to the ground.

“Little dog bitch!” He fired a kick to her ribs as he got up, blood streaming from his nose. “Just you wait, when Master Danarius is done with you. I'll feed you to the slave in fucking pieces. Until then, I guess it won't hurt to mess you up a little.”

There was another kick to her midsection and she began to float in and out of consciousness. A sharp tug on her hair that lifted her to her knees roused her into waking. The blood was still streaming down his face but that look in his eye had gone from lusty to downright murderous.

She felt the kick to her leg and tried to bite back the scream that threatened to pull from her mouth. When she did not scream, he began to get more creative; hands grabbing her fingers and pulling them back as hard as he could. She heard the snapping of each bone and she screamed.

But he didn't stop.

Time passed and she could no longer even consider how long she had been there. Her whole world was nothing but pain. He made a point not to hit her in the face but everything else was fair game.

Finally, her captor seemed to tire of his torture of her. He turned and strode from the room, leaving her to curl on the ground.

Her eyes closed as she prayed that this did not play out as bad as she thought it was going but she knew no one was aware of where she was.

She lay there for some time on her side. Each breath was getting harder to take and she was sure that some of the spit in her mouth was blood. A rib was definitely broken, perhaps more then one.

It was still hard for her to look around but that had gotten worse as well. There was a faint fogginess to her vision that was growing darker by the moment.

She wondered if this is what it meant to die. Her mind went to the morbid thought of Bethany and wondering if her sister had felt the same against the Ogre or if it had been too quick for her to even register that she was dying.

The sounds of people out in the hallway made her realize her captor was coming back to taunt her once more. It was about then that she refused to give in to that thought and struggled to get up. Fighting against the pain in her whole body as she rallied herself for one final struggle against her captors.

The little setup they had made it difficult for her to move but she managed to get her feet. Blood trickled from wounds and she could feel the effects of heavy blood loss. Ava knew she would not last long if she was this badly hurt but she was not going to give in without a fight.

She stood there, determined to die on her feet then end up being a slave to some twisted magister and his lackeys.

She felt like she had been standing there for an obscene amount of time when she heard the door open. Her whole body tensed as she watched as the door swung open.

Relief filled her mind as she recognized the person there.

“Ava!” Fenris stood in the doorway with a crazed look in his eyes. He turned his head to shout over his shoulder. “Hawke! She's in here!”

She let herself drop then but he caught her before he hit the floor. Whatever strength she had to keep herself upright fled her bones and she could feel her vision dimming.

“Fenhedis!” His voice was a snarl as his hand reached for her cheek.

“Fenris, you're here...” It was a soft whisper as she let herself drift off.

 


End file.
